Unsupportive family

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BlessedMomX2
BlessedMomX2 Posts: 242 Member
in Motivation and Support
Every week my dad calls and wants to go out to eat, and I always say no, but usually end up giving in and going. But today I decided to stick to my guns and say NO! Then he had the nerve to say I'm always gonna be fat and Im "big-boned" Grrrrr! Way to support dad! Anyone else have someone unsupporting in their life, and how do you deal with them? I'm really upset right now!

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  • shopgirl192
    shopgirl192 Posts: 102
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    Ugh, I'm so sorry you have an unsupportive family. My best advice is to just prove them wrong. Instead of turning down their invite, why not go and show them how to order healthy!

    Luckily, I have a supportive family, so I can't imagine going through a weight loss journey alone! Just keep your chin up and remember that you're doing this for yourself, not for them!
  • kirstiey
    kirstiey Posts: 243
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    Why can't you go out to eat but you choose where so you can have something lighter? I think you should go out to prove to yourself and your dad, they you have a new attitude and can make good choices. It is a big step but I have done it recently and felt so empowered. You don't need anyone else, you just need you (And some MFPs)!
  • journeytoahealthy51
    journeytoahealthy51 Posts: 89 Member
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    You can eat healthy when you eat out. In order to make your weight loss permanent, you will have to learn now to adapt. Before you go out, find out where you are going, and decide what you will order. Log it before you go, then you will know how many calories you have left. You can always bump up your exercise those days to burn some extra calories. My hubby and I eat out almost every weekend, and I have learned moderation in what I eat, and I also exercise more those days. That is not to say that I do not go over some on those days, but nothing like I used to. Enjoy that time with your dad. You don't have to binge to enjoy time with your family.
  • bullmastifflover
    bullmastifflover Posts: 128 Member
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    He's immature. Ignore is comment, he's hurt that you don't want to go with him and probably feels like he's going to lose you. At some point you'll be able to go to restaurants again and order healthy food...let him know that right now staying away is easier for you. Maybe offer to make him dinner at home. He loves you and he's hurt...ignore his obnoxious comment. Rise above him and be the better person.
  • flgirlsteph
    flgirlsteph Posts: 125 Member
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    Thats not very nice :( Well i have supportive family but my uncle is the only one allowed to cook lol and let me tell ya its not easy to eat right when eating with them so im with you on that part!
  • fitforMYSELF
    fitforMYSELF Posts: 29
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    I feel you. When I tell my family that I wanna lose weight they say, your just gonna give up again, and I do. But they also told me I wouldn't last in the school program I'm in and I'm about to graduate wit honors so I figure I can prove them wrong at one thing why not another!
    If you do need a support team feel free to add me! =]
  • Hollycat
    Hollycat Posts: 372
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    Dad just wants to see you. Go out with him, on the condition he's buying and order light. Find out where you're going and look at their nutritional guide online and decide ahead what you'll get. When he complains that you've 'only' ordered soup and salad, just say, "Be glad I'm a cheap date, Dad. I was going to order the steak and lobster, but I changed my mind." That way, you both feel you've won. :wink:

    Hollycat
    :flowerforyou:
  • bonini88
    bonini88 Posts: 8
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    I can relate. Since starting my weight loss journey ive been trying to be very diligent about what i eat everyday and organized as to plan things ahead of time, i have a long way to go, but this for me makes sense. My hubby on the other hand thinks that because im eating healthier i deserve more treats, such as an extra large mocha ice coffee with whipped cream and chocolate drizzle ( At least he tells them to hold the extra sugar) lol and sometimes i give in, knowing that ill have to work harder during the week but sometimes after telling him that its "very SWEET, But REALLY DONT" ... he still does it, and yes it gets a little frustrated. Then he'll start talking about women and their diets and blah blah blah.... lol ... maybe your dad just wants company, You dont have to sacrifice going out to eat, just maybe learn to plan ahead as to what sort of food is being serve there, or maybe introduce him to healthier but tasty foods.
  • genderwar
    genderwar Posts: 15 Member
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    Is your dad a big guy? Maybe he feels intimidated by the idea that you are changing and he's not? I know that a lot of times people will be co-dependent with others and subconsciously try to stop them from success because they don't want to be left by themselves in misery. Not that it's an excuse, but it can be really difficult to see someone else change when you don't want to yourself.
  • FitRodr
    FitRodr Posts: 353 Member
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    You will prove him wrong. Hold your ground. Plan before you go. Ask them to put 1/2 in a to-go container before they bring it to you and give the other 1/2 to him. Eating out is difficult but you've GOT this. When my son & his wife argue, he smiles and says "I love you" then he walks away. He says she can't be mad or ugly if he ends it like that. Worth a try? Dad: You'll always be fat You: Dad, I really love you.... next subject. Happy thoughts your way
  • rmsrws
    rmsrws Posts: 639 Member
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    Maybe your dad's intentions are not meant to be hurtfull. Maybe he has seen you try this before and he does not want to see you get hurt, by not being able to accomplish your goal. Maybe he is lonely, you could always offer to prepare a meal and invite him over. You could join him out to eat and perhaps just have some water, and salad.

    It may be that he does not know how to be suppoertive, or he doesn't know how to connect with you unless it's over food!

    My family is not big on the support. They are always trying to shove food in my face. I just have to say "No Thank you!" and hope that sooner or later they will get it. Best Wishes!
  • BrattyLori
    BrattyLori Posts: 101 Member
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    I hear you loud and clear! ITs so much easier when your family is on board with your work!

    Maybe your dad is thinking he's actually saying, "Your size doesnt matter to me. You are beautiful as you are. I would love to spend time with you." Try not to be mad at your dad for wanting to spoil you fat!

    I agree with the gal who suggested you go with your dad and order a healthy dinner or invite him over, OR plan a standing movie date.

    Good luck to you!

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