GP- weight - shame :(
kettlenic
Posts: 148 Member
I went to the doctor this morning to get birth control and was weighed - I told him before i got on the scale that I was over weight and I know this - he probably thought yeah ok I can see!!
And he then asked me to tell him about it - what why I am fat ?? emotional eating and lack of control, he then handed me a booklet with healthy eating information
It was very basic I said to him I know so much about nutrition and I know what needs to be done - told him I am a yoyo and I hate it
He has now scheduled me in for blood tests to make sure everything is ok and I will meet him a week after to discuss it....
I hate talking about my weight issues really i do....I feel awful like I am one of the stats that make the news on how fat people waste NHS money....
anyone else spoken to their GP about weight issues?
And he then asked me to tell him about it - what why I am fat ?? emotional eating and lack of control, he then handed me a booklet with healthy eating information
It was very basic I said to him I know so much about nutrition and I know what needs to be done - told him I am a yoyo and I hate it
He has now scheduled me in for blood tests to make sure everything is ok and I will meet him a week after to discuss it....
I hate talking about my weight issues really i do....I feel awful like I am one of the stats that make the news on how fat people waste NHS money....
anyone else spoken to their GP about weight issues?
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Replies
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Yes, I've been there. It's can be very embarrassing, but hopefully your doctor isn't judgemental and is kind while being sensible about it. And, remember to be kind to yourself, above all. My doctor has a horrible bed-side manner, and I think he just looks at me as a number/statistic. O well, I'll show him!0
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Here in the states I have. I am a yo-yo er and an emotional eater. There are things like thyroid issues or depression that can be treated that could be attributed to your weight issues. Also having blood work and baseline stats can help them gear you in the right direction on your body's needs. I dont know about where you are you some GPs in different countries can refer you to a nutritionist and personal training program that is completly or partially covered to help you as well.
Weight loss IS psychological too. There is alot to overcome. Appreciate all the help you can get!0 -
When I was at my largest, my GP referred me to a group class thing where we all met up and talked about weight and went on a shopping trip with a nutritionist who explained a few things to us (mostly about nutrition, 5 a day, basic things, but notably that Coke Zero was made to be marketed to men - I'll never forget that tidbit whether it was true or false!). It didn't really help me very much, to be honest - although I did eventually start dieting, but it was good that my GP was taking an interest.0
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I get fussed at every time I go...
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My very young doctor, which is new to me as I have recently moved to a new state, basically told me I needed to move more and eat less. How is that for bedside manners? 0
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I've talked about it with two GPs and a midwife.
Hated every minute of it, because they *WOULDN'T LISTEN.* I'd tell them what I eat in a day, they'd give me a look that says, loud and clear, "uh-huh... and where are you hiding the chips now?" They'd tell me to get out more and cut down my portion sizes... and not a one of them realized I was gaining weight or holding steady on about 900 cal/day. They also looked at me like I was a test subject - I couldn't possibly be a *real* woman, because real women aren't fat, so it was okay to dehumanize me, treat me like dirt and pretend I had the intellect of a five year old.
Needless to say, I now have an entirely new set of care providers.0 -
For a while anytime I went to the doctor's office--which I tried to avoid--he would always add that the extra weight I was carrying around was making the problems worse (lower back/hip issues, depression). It bothered me and embarassed me. I usually handle things with humor so I asked him, "Did you just call me fat? Because if you did I'm not going to pay my copay!!" We talked about this website & a class on nutrition and fitness I was taking with some of my collegues & he hasn't mentioned my weight since. It is not fun discussing weight issues with the doctor--the shame is almost always there. He hasn't seen me in quite awhile and I wonder if he will see a difference when I take my kids to see him today!! We'll see
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I've too had some not very nice experiences at the doctors, they sometimes act as if you don't know you have a weight problem and try and give you advice which just patronises. Everyone knows what they SHOULD be eating, it's just making it work wih a job and busy life, emotions, social life is not easy for anyone.
I hope that your blood tests are all normal and when you are ready you'll make the changes you need to.
Good luck x0 -
I want to change and that is why I am on MFP amd why i am starting to excercise more regulary
we will see I also hope the blood is ok, will let you all know thank you
He seems nice so hopefully he really wants to help - i almost feel like a woman would understand me more but we will see what happens0 -
I took my Corvette in to the mechanic and he told me I shouldn't drive it on dirt trails through the mountains anymore. He actually thinks I should take care of it and treat it right. The nerve of him, I guess I need a new mechanic.
Bedside manner aside, your doctor is probably tired of seeing patient after patient destroy themselves and then come in with physical complaints. "Eat less & move more" is the best medical advice I have heard in years. Stop being so sensitive. The judgement and ridicule is in your head. The guilt and embarrassment comes from knowing you need to change. If you are eating healthy and exercising and still having medical issues, go to your doctor with documentation. Show him your eating plan, exercise routine and anything else you can. Doctors see fat people all day everyday and I bet every overweight person says the same thing. "I don't eat that much, I don't know why I'm not losing weight". Forgive the medical practitioners if they have trouble still believing it.
Sorry for being so harsh, but let's deal with the real issues.
Arnold0 -
Arnold - I posted under motivation and support....
I went in to get birth control not because of weight induced ailments!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He brought it up when he wanted to weigh me and take blood pressure before writing presciption for the pill - get your facts straight
this is the very first time I have been in this situation by a GP and was not feeling great about it all hence why I posrted under MOTIVATION AND SUPPORT0 -
I took my Corvette in to the mechanic and he told me I shouldn't drive it on dirt trails through the mountains anymore. He actually thinks I should take care of it and treat it right. The nerve of him, I guess I need a new mechanic.
Bedside manner aside, your doctor is probably tired of seeing patient after patient destroy themselves and then come in with physical complaints. "Eat less & move more" is the best medical advice I have heard in years. Stop being so sensitive. The judgement and ridicule is in your head. The guilt and embarrassment comes from knowing you need to change. If you are eating healthy and exercising and still having medical issues, go to your doctor with documentation. Show him your eating plan, exercise routine and anything else you can. Doctors see fat people all day everyday and I bet every overweight person says the same thing. "I don't eat that much, I don't know why I'm not losing weight". Forgive the medical practitioners if they have trouble still believing it.
ying to help you.
Sorry for being so harsh, but deal with the real issues.
Arnold
If I may jump into the discussion from the viewpoint of a medical doctor this is right on target. I practiced primary care internal medicine for 30 years, retired last summer. I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't bring up the issue. I commend your current doc for bringing it up, asking how you felt about it and making a plan of action, checking for medical issues. Most primary care docs have so much to deal with and weight issues are so complex that it is difficult to deal with it at all in a limited time visit and still deal with the issue that brought you to the doctor. That is why referrals to groups, dieticians etc are often recommended. Many docs don't have specific training in nutritional issues. I personally have always had an interest in this so tend to have more knowledge than most in that regard. We (the docs) are not trying to embarass you, we are trying to help and the weight issues may well relate to your reason for seeing the doc even if it doesn't seem that way. For example did you consider that the type of birth control you were considering might be contraindicated or more risky because of weight? You might be at higher risk of elevated blood pressure, blood clots, heart disease and those might be contraindications to birth control pills or put you at higher risk of side effects.
Arnold is right that it is frustrating to see patients all day long that want an easy solution. This is not just for weight but for smokers and others as well. Smokers complain of shortness of breath, they may be on oxygen and are still smoking. Overweight persons have back pain, joint pain etc. and want a pill to fix it. I'm aware there are emotional issues behind eating and weight disorders but your doctor is opening the door by asking how you feel about it, not trying to shame you. LIkewise I hope you don't feel I'm not being supportive either, just trying to have you look at it from the other side. After all you and the doc are on the same team! On MFP we are also on your team!! He/she has resources that can help you and so does MFP, why not take advantage of them? Why does this upset you? I would try and have this conversation with patients and time after time one just doesn't see the patient taking action to help themselves. Some do but please don't blame the doc!!0 -
Also, Arnold, if you pay any attention at all, you'll see it has EVERYTHING to do with bedside manner. If a doctor wants to gently bring up weight issues, and perhaps make suggestions, that's fine. FINE. But, to take a look at a patient in the office, get a blood pressure cuff, put it on, say "Wow, you are significantly overweight, aren't you!?!" and then have the gall to insist that the patient's blood pressure issues are a result of weight? Or, perhaps, dismiss all that documentation the patient brought in (because OBVIOUSLY, they left out the dozen ho-hos they eat daily), and insist on a grade 1 level nutrition presentation, or even turn a basic visit for a set purpose into an excuse to lecture someone who isn't the "ideal" weight? That's all bedside manner, and that's not oversensitivity, that's called being insulted because someone is insulting you.
To go with the Corvette analogy, I took my 'Vette into the shop for new tires. While I was there, the mechanic berated me for a half an hour about the paint job my kids wrecked and I haven't had a chance to get fixed yet, then he spent ANOTHER half an hour telling me that I shouldn't allow my kids anywhere near paint or cars - EVER.0 -
Interesting. Random duplicate post. Go figure.
Ooh, taking advantage of my duplicate to say schobert101, This is an entirely different point. From your post, you sound like someone who would have a decent bedside manner. You'll note that the people complaining actively here are complaining not necessarily about doctors bringing up the weight issue, but HOW they bring it up. I'm all for doctors bringing up concerns related to my health. That's what I pay them for. But, just like I wouldn't go back through the aisle at the grocery store with the bagger who packed a can of ANYTHING on top of my eggs, I wouldn't go back to the doctor who patronized, insulted, or was deliberately rude to me. I suspect that, more than anything, the issue here isn't that doctors bring up weight. It's that doctors bring up weight either as if you don't already KNOW there's a problem, as if you don't know basic nutrition information, or as if you kicked their puppy over the weekend, then went in to see them on Monday for help. There is NO EXCUSE for the rudeness that is often seen directed at overweight people (most noticeably women) in the doctor's office (or society in general).0 -
I took my Corvette in to the mechanic and he told me I shouldn't drive it on dirt trails through the mountains anymore. He actually thinks I should take care of it and treat it right. The nerve of him, I guess I need a new mechanic.
Bedside manner aside, your doctor is probably tired of seeing patient after patient destroy themselves and then come in with physical complaints. "Eat less & move more" is the best medical advice I have heard in years. Stop being so sensitive. The judgement and ridicule is in your head. The guilt and embarrassment comes from knowing you need to change. If you are eating healthy and exercising and still having medical issues, go to your doctor with documentation. Show him your eating plan, exercise routine and anything else you can. Doctors see fat people all day everyday and I bet every overweight person says the same thing. "I don't eat that much, I don't know why I'm not losing weight". Forgive the medical practitioners if they have trouble still believing it.
ying to help you.
Sorry for being so harsh, but deal with the real issues.
Arnold
If I may jump into the discussion from the viewpoint of a medical doctor this is right on target. I practiced primary care internal medicine for 30 years, retired last summer. I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't bring up the issue. I commend your current doc for bringing it up, asking how you felt about it and making a plan of action, checking for medical issues. Most primary care docs have so much to deal with and weight issues are so complex that it is difficult to deal with it at all in a limited time visit and still deal with the issue that brought you to the doctor. That is why referrals to groups, dieticians etc are often recommended. Many docs don't have specific training in nutritional issues. I personally have always had an interest in this so tend to have more knowledge than most in that regard. We (the docs) are not trying to embarass you, we are trying to help and the weight issues may well relate to your reason for seeing the doc even if it doesn't seem that way. For example did you consider that the type of birth control you were considering might be contraindicated or more risky because of weight? You might be at higher risk of elevated blood pressure, blood clots, heart disease and those might be contraindications to birth control pills or put you at higher risk of side effects.
Arnold is right that it is frustrating to see patients all day long that want an easy solution. This is not just for weight but for smokers and others as well. Smokers complain of shortness of breath, they may be on oxygen and are still smoking. Overweight persons have back pain, joint pain etc. and want a pill to fix it. I'm aware there are emotional issues behind eating and weight disorders but your doctor is opening the door by asking how you feel about it, not trying to shame you. LIkewise I hope you don't feel I'm not being supportive either, just trying to have you look at it from the other side. After all you and the doc are on the same team! On MFP we are also on your team!! He/she has resources that can help you and so does MFP, why not take advantage of them? Why does this upset you? I would try and have this conversation with patients and time after time one just doesn't see the patient taking action to help themselves. Some do but please don't blame the doc!!0 -
Also, Arnold, if you pay any attention at all, you'll see it has EVERYTHING to do with bedside manner. If a doctor wants to gently bring up weight issues, and perhaps make suggestions, that's fine. FINE. But, to take a look at a patient in the office, get a blood pressure cuff, put it on, say "Wow, you are significantly overweight, aren't you!?!" and then have the gall to insist that the patient's blood pressure issues are a result of weight? Or, perhaps, dismiss all that documentation the patient brought in (because OBVIOUSLY, they left out the dozen ho-hos they eat daily), and insist on a grade 1 level nutrition presentation, or even turn a basic visit for a set purpose into an excuse to lecture someone who isn't the "ideal" weight? That's all bedside manner, and that's not oversensitivity, that's called being insulted because someone is insulting you.
Wow! Why so angry? The original post I read sure didn't say anything like this. It said the doctor asked her what she thought about it and then gave her some information. It didn't say he/she said anything about "you are significantly overweight aren't you?" It didn't say that the doc dismissed the documentaiton the patient brought in or lectured anyone. Overweight is in fact a risk factor for high blood pressure..........note I said risk factor.......not always a direct cause and it certainly would be an important factor in prescribing birth control pills.0 -
I never went in to see him for any weight related ailments it was a secondary point that arose during the consultantion!
I am aware of the facts: move more eat less, hence why I am on MFP and hence why I haved yoyoed btw 2 stone trying to lose emotional eating and the like getting me back to square one again
I was annoyed at the poster for being so harsh totally misreading what I had said - I was surprised when the brought it up as this is the first time it has happened to me and yes I was embarrassed whether he meant it or not - fact was I felt that way
oh I am so over this post and the two of you have not made me feel supported only worse - thanks!0 -
Bump0
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Nothing from my Doctor has ever helped me. I think real people help me more, not the dude in the white jacket.
Message boards and forums.
I am the Lord, God, Queen of emotional eating. Not sweets, but bread, cheese and tortillas. I am also a grazer. Baby steps...baby steps. I did good all month, today I had *gasp* hash browns. Enjoyed them though!!!!!!0 -
For two years I was steadily gaining. I told my doctor that I was gaining weight and needed help. I saw him every three months for other issues and each time I mentioned my weight and he said that I was just fine.
Changed doctors and took blood tests. Mentioned weight gain and after looking at blood tests(possibly pre-diabetic) he told me I could lose 20 pounds and sent me to a nutritionist. Starting eating like a diabetic, every 2 or 3 hours, lower calories at a time and balancing proteins with carbs, and by next visit in 3 months lost 22 pounds. He saw me and said "Finally, I tell all these patients that I see every day what they need to do to improve their health, and ONE of them actually does what I suggest."
Today I've lost a total of 38 pounds and am within 10 pounds of my goal weight. And it was because a doctor finally told me what to do!0 -
There's a very simple reason I'm angry about this stuff. It's because it has happened to me, and people who react like Arnold did are basically saying that overweight people *deserve* any rotten treatment they get. That hacks me off something fierce. Plus, Arnold was suggesting that if the OP had just proven she was trying (as if she should have to prove anything to be treated decently), the doc would have been nicer to her, and that's just another whole load of horse puckey. Whether or not the OP's physician intended to be rude or condescending, it certainly looks like he was - and that is a problem. A BIG problem. Particularly since a lot of people will blow off everything a doc has to say if they can't be arsed to be polite about it (not that they SHOULD do this, but it's pretty much human nature).Also, Arnold, if you pay any attention at all, you'll see it has EVERYTHING to do with bedside manner. If a doctor wants to gently bring up weight issues, and perhaps make suggestions, that's fine. FINE. But, to take a look at a patient in the office, get a blood pressure cuff, put it on, say "Wow, you are significantly overweight, aren't you!?!" and then have the gall to insist that the patient's blood pressure issues are a result of weight? Or, perhaps, dismiss all that documentation the patient brought in (because OBVIOUSLY, they left out the dozen ho-hos they eat daily), and insist on a grade 1 level nutrition presentation, or even turn a basic visit for a set purpose into an excuse to lecture someone who isn't the "ideal" weight? That's all bedside manner, and that's not oversensitivity, that's called being insulted because someone is insulting you.
Wow! Why so angry? The original post I read sure didn't say anything like this. It said the doctor asked her what she thought about it and then gave her some information. It didn't say he/she said anything about "you are significantly overweight aren't you?" It didn't say that the doc dismissed the documentaiton the patient brought in or lectured anyone. Overweight is in fact a risk factor for high blood pressure..........note I said risk factor.......not always a direct cause and it certainly would be an important factor in prescribing birth control pills.0 -
To go with the Corvette analogy, I took my 'Vette into the shop for new tires. While I was there, the mechanic berated me for a half an hour about the paint job my kids wrecked and I haven't had a chance to get fixed yet, then he spent ANOTHER half an hour telling me that I shouldn't allow my kids anywhere near paint or cars - EVER.
We're not talking about a paint job here. You're driving with the parking brake on and no oil in the engine.
If your doctor doesn't tell you you are overweight every time you see him, get a new doctor. What other medical problems would you like your doctor to ignore because it might embarrass you?
Arnold0 -
I believe doctors should be taking a more active stance on weight issues with their patients. I know it's hard to hear. especially if your doctor is one who speaks very directly (not the happy go lucky joke around with type). people are killing themselves with their lack of healthy eating and exercise. I would think it's a hard situation for the doctor to discuss as well. no one wants to tell someone they are fat. We all know we have issues that need to be fixed. That's why we're here. So why it is different for your doctor (the person responsible for ensuring you are healthy) to discuss it with you?
if you have a personality conflict with your doctor, find one you are comfortable talking to.
OP...you are upset because you didn't go in to discuss weight issues...only birth control. But...what if they doctor had noticed something else serious (like potential skin cancer or something else visible), would you have wanted him/her to only discuss the birth control and let you walk out?0 -
My NHS GP stopped weighing me or taking my blood pressure when renewing my Pill prescription! I asked to see another one and got a proper check-up and a full discussion of contraceptive options. Far more pleasing. No weigh-in though, which was a shame as I want to show off how much I've lost!0
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I want everyone to know what not all people that are overweight eat insane amounts of food. I am tired of seeing weight loss shows that show people eating the right side of the McDonalds menu or 3 bags of chips for a snack. If it was really that simple losing weight would be easy for everyone! I would like to have Chris Powell come to my house and help me lose weight and show that I eat fairly healthy and exercise and can't seem to lose a pound.
Part of the reason some of us feel so much shame is because the general public see these shows and accept the fact that everyone overweight eats like that which is simply not true.
I have not talked to my GP about my weight. I hate when they tell you the general stuff what we already know. Most Dr I have seen don't care enough to dig in and see if there is a real issue.0 -
Arnold - I don't have any medical issues. BP great, cholesterol great, sugar great, ect. I wear a size 10 jean. I have a 34 inch waist. I only went to the doctor for a life insurance exam. I am 5'11 and weigh 188. A lil heavy i admit but nothing worthy of move more, eat less. I didn't go to him to get the "miracle" cure. I didn't even ask him to recommend a method to lose weight. I had already joined a gym and had been going for about 3 months prior to seeing him. Shame on you for assuming there was a health issue due to over use of a fork. I have no guilt or embarrassment about my weight, I simply was identifying with the original writer of the posting that doctors can be a bit harsh.0
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Re: original post:
It has been brought up twice with my PCP, and then he mentioned it a time or two. But the fact is, I needed him to bring it up. My dad was in great shape (6'0 175lbs) walked 4xweek and lifted weights on his off days. He dropped over of a heart attack at 55. This significantly increases my chance of heart disease. Then, his cousin, dropped over in her early 50s of a heart attack, again increasing my risk.
So we did a baseline work up. My cholesterol was slightly elevated, my BMI was 43, I was having palpitations and on a bunch of meds for GERD and asthma...all which could be contributed to by my weight.
He asked if I wanted to be referred to a dietician, and I went.
That was several years ago, I didn't lose a thing.
BUT
he has mentioned weight, when I went in for back issues, as a solution.
THEN
A friend of mine needed a kidney and they wouldn't even consider testing me until my BMI went below 36 (currently 34!!)
Doctors have a responsibility to counsel their patients on unhealthy problems. Whether its something you can change about your lifestyle (such as smoking, which while it is a physical addiction, its also something you can change) They would be negligent if they didn't.
But they can only give you the tools to help you, they can't do it for you.0 -
When I was at my largest, my GP referred me to a group class thing where we all met up and talked about weight and went on a shopping trip with a nutritionist who explained a few things to us (mostly about nutrition, 5 a day, basic things, but notably that Coke Zero was made to be marketed to men - I'll never forget that tidbit whether it was true or false!). It didn't really help me very much, to be honest - although I did eventually start dieting, but it was good that my GP was taking an interest.
My hubby is in the industry, and yes Coke Zero is meant to be 'The Man's Diet Coke'. I think it's tastier than Diet Coke though, and I'm a chick
Original post...I get embarrassed and ashamed anytime anyone brings up weight, but I channel it into motivation. Like some other posts have said, if people around me had confronted me with the reality sooner, maybe I wouldn't have gotten to the point that I did. That said, the desire to change has to come from within. I hope you can use it as motivation to work harder and next time you visit the GP show off all the progress you're making!0
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