Beginning my Journey again

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kathryn8652
kathryn8652 Posts: 2
in Introduce Yourself
I first came on here last year to begin my journey........I started realy well and was enjoying it, unfortuantly alot has happened since then.

In January of this year I took an overdose, the whole event shocked everyone around me as I was always the happy-go-lucky girl nextdoor type of person. I had a good job, nice car, lovely house, freinds, loving family. However deep down there was a person working over 80 hours a week, not sleeping, self concious and who was very frail. Instead of taking the offer of help, I convinced everyone I was fine and went back to work two days later. However nothing went away..................three months later, there I was in A & E being treated for another overdose.

This time it had be different, I saw that things had to change, I saw the pain in my parents eyes, I saw the pain in my friends, I had to tell my employer they were expecting to much from one person, I couldnt do 7 days a week, 12 hours a day.

After spening a few days in a remote respite home for people with similar problems, I decided this time I had to accept help. My employers understood and gave me indefinate leave, my doctor gave me a support network and i began to learn how to talk to people about what I was feeling.
I have worked through the things that made me feel like I did, I have analysed every aspect of my life to see what makes me happy, sad, insecure, uneasy and safe. It has taken nearly 9 weeks to come up with just a few of the answers.

I realised despite everyone thinking I was happy, deep down i was hurting.
I am the girl the men love having as a mate but noone would want me as their girlfriend, I am the girl who listened to people's problems not have any of her own, I was the girl at work who helped everyone not ask to be helped and I was the girl they thought was unbreakable but was actually completely shattered.

NOW IS TIME TO CHANGE...... Ive always made jokes about my weight before others did so people think it didnt bother me,,,,,,,when deep down its probably a major factor

SO WHAT HAVE I DONE..............

Well Ive joined a gym, Ive joined Weightwatchers and Ive comeback on here.

I have now learnt to take every bit of help available, as although you still need to do it yourself there are people that want to help. This time this is for ME

Replies

  • hjfischer
    hjfischer Posts: 250
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    God Bless and I hope you find your path is gets smoother and you find the journey brings you inner peace and strength!!! Good Luck!
  • cathys01
    cathys01 Posts: 221
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    Hi. Welcome. I sounds like you have been through a lot lately and that you need motivation and support; well, there is lots of that here on this site.You can do this, you have the strength within and it sounds like you are making good, sound decisions lately as well by joining the gym, WW and joining here. Please feel free to add me as a friend if you like and I will help encourage you. Best of luck on your weight loss journey.
  • cillytilly
    cillytilly Posts: 243
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    Thank you for being brave and sharing your story. You have shared a very vulnerable part of you. Welcome back to this journey. You may have to conquer this mountain but remember you got others around you cheering you on. If you need a cheerleader or want someone to cheer on feel free to add me.
  • shopgirl192
    shopgirl192 Posts: 102
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    Welcome! You should be commended on your willingness to start again! Good luck to you! :)
  • simplysara9
    simplysara9 Posts: 521
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    It sounds like you have a bumpy ride to this point. I have gained so much support through these boards. I hope you stick around and gain the support you need.
  • lorilynette
    lorilynette Posts: 39
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    Welcome back, and I wish you much strength and courage for you journey. It sounds like you've already needed some of that, so congrats to you for taking care of yourself!
  • mheightchew
    mheightchew Posts: 334
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    You sound like an amzing and strong person. It takes a lot of courage to share such a personal story and to realize when to ask for help. Good luck and thanks for opening up!
  • photorific
    photorific Posts: 577 Member
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    Congrats on taking the steps to come back and take care of yourself!
  • Shannmarrs
    Shannmarrs Posts: 117 Member
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    Sometimes it takes a lot to say the truth...you are stronger then you think you are. Welcome back, and I'm glad that you are doing this for YOU!! Add me as a friend if you like. Support is one of the main reasons MFP works. :flowerforyou:
  • Kelly_Wilson1990
    Kelly_Wilson1990 Posts: 3,245 Member
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    Way to go!!! You are on the right track now. You have my support!!!
  • edg_15
    edg_15 Posts: 15 Member
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    I believe losing weight consists of three things: diet, exercise, and behavior. I've been struggling with emotions and eating all of my life. Even as a child, food was always satisfying. The thing to realize is why do we hide behind our weight? It's almost like putting up a wall around us that contains all of our emotions or problems. I wish you a lot of luck in this transformation and I hope you allow yourself to be surrounded by the love most people on this site spread. I know it's all easier said than done but I'm dieting out in the open. Even if it means logging over my calories. At least it shows me where I'm messing up. So count me in, I'm right on board with ya!
  • MyBabysMamma
    MyBabysMamma Posts: 36
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    Hi Kathryn,

    It takes a lot of courage to be as open and honest as you've been.. Hopefully now you've turned the corner and accepted help you'll achieve all your goals.

    Best of luck with your future. :)
  • kathryn8652
    kathryn8652 Posts: 2
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    Thankyou to everyone who has posted kind words of encouragement, it means a lot to me.
  • ertrauma
    ertrauma Posts: 46 Member
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    One day at at time, Kathryn...one day at a time. Feel free to send a friend request and perhaps we can all find our paths together.

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