I need support. I can't do this alone.

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Hello

I have tried using this program many, many times before and thought I can do it by myself. I do good for a couple of days and then screw up. Then I give up. Well I want to start again. I am hoping I will be welcomed to the group. I'm starting over again today.

Replies

  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
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    We all screw up ! We are human and it happens !! So next time you mess up, just pick up where you left off. Don't give up. Change happens slowly . this is a lifestyle change so won't happen in a few days and certainly won't happen flawlessly . so don't be hard on yourself ! I lost all my weight and kept it off 2+ yrs so far just by counting calories , using a food scale, learning portion control and moderation. I gave up nothing. I still eat ice cream every night and still enjoy eating out all the time. It can be done ! Best of luck to you !!
  • Angel0298
    Angel0298 Posts: 25 Member
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    You can do this but you're being too hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes but just start fresh the next day. If you find all of it overwhelming then do one thing at a time until it becomes a habit then move on to something else. You really can do this so don't think you'll fail before you even start. Come here for support whenever you need it.
  • Angel0298
    Angel0298 Posts: 25 Member
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    I liked reading this one because we need to set reasonable goals and not try to be perfect. A perfect person doesn't exist.

    Do's and Don't of Setting Goals

    Goal achievement, especially when it comes to health and fitness, can be a mystery. Most of us have no trouble with Step 1 (Setting the Goal). Setting a goal is the easy part, it's those other steps that can be a puzzle. But you CAN turn achieving your goals into a science with the right strategies. Here are a few of our favorites:

    DO create a plan.
    DON’T wait for "someday" to roll around.
    Setting the goal is just the first step. Know where you’re going, what resources you’ll need, who can help and – most importantly – what Plan B is when life throws a monkey wrench into Plan A.

    DO start small.
    DON’T focus on too many things at once.
    Try focusing on one goal at a time. Use a small goal that you know you can do each day for the next two weeks, like getting up without the snooze or drinking eight cups of water. Build that first habit to boost your confidence and pick up speed.

    DO write it down.
    DON’T forget to give yourself a deadline.
    Deadlines turn wishes into goals. The act of writing down your goal is powerful enough to keep you committed and focused. Better yet, find a visual that represents your goal or how your life will be different. Seeing it makes it seem more possible.

    DO be specific.
    DON’T deal in absolutes.
    Avoid the words ‘some’ and ‘more’, as in "I will get SOME exercise" or "I will eat MORE veggies." It leaves too much wiggle-out room. Deal in measurable things that you have control over. And never say ‘never’ or ‘always.’ All or nothing is a common attitude that leads people back to bad habits.

    DO leave room for failure.
    DON’T expect perfection.
    Persistence is key. Accept the fact that you might not make it on the first try. In a recent study, only 40% of people who successfully followed New Year's resolutions did it on the first try; 17% of resolution achievers took six or more tries before they got it right – but they did get it right.

    DO track your progress.
    DON’T fool yourself into failure.
    Memory can be pretty selective. It conveniently forgets that extra brownie while remembering activity that never happened. The only way to know for sure is to track goals regularly with a checklist or journal.

    DO reward your success.
    DON’T beat yourself up over failure.
    This is the step that trips up most people. Negative thoughts are usually in our heads, telling us every day what we’re doing wrong. This is not the approach to take to succeed with your goals. Why not focus on what you’re doing right instead? If you take a step back, learn from it and take two steps forward.

    DO find a support system.
    DON’T try to do it alone.
    A goal buddy can make all the difference this time. People that can help are all around you – on message boards, at work, even in your own family. Just add one person to your support group, and you double your motivation, double your energy, double your commitment – and double your FUN.

    DO make a commitment.
    DON’T ever forget that you can do!
  • JanetMMcC
    JanetMMcC Posts: 410 Member
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    Welcome! You might also want to check out some of the message board groups - some interest based, some age-based. But I'd bet that 99 percent of the people who come here needing to lose weight (and those who need to gain, for that matter) have tried many, many, many times. I'm 63, have been fighting fat since high school (well, my mother was fighting what she thought was my fat when I was in high school (she demanded that I weight 125; I was 5-7.5)), and really was fat once I went to college.

    This past year is the first time since high school that I've felt confident that I can handle this beast.

    Someone in the over-50 message thread posted a really good comparison about calorie overages. If you dropped an egg on the floor, you wouldn't toss the rest of the dozen onto the floor. You'd clean up the broken egg, use whatever you needed, and put the rest into the fridge. So if you drop the ball on calories one day, just move on from there instead of despairing and continuing the binge.
  • allison4224
    allison4224 Posts: 80 Member
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    Hi ! I'm starting today too. Again! (doesn't matter how many times you start, what counts is you are doing it now.)
  • arv51862
    arv51862 Posts: 115 Member
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    The important thing is that you are still trying... Just take it one meal at a time, baby steps in the right direction & keep your expectations realistic.
  • nlb58
    nlb58 Posts: 3 Member
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    Welcome back.
    I too have been using MFP for years, but trying to do it on my own, with no luck. This year I have decided to give the community a try. I now know I can't do this by myself.
    WE CAN DO THIS!
  • donnaw3kids
    donnaw3kids Posts: 130 Member
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    DONT give up! You got this
  • terlindy87
    terlindy87 Posts: 1 Member
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    I think many of us have gone through this. This time I am not doing it alone. My mother started her journey December 14 and time for me to start mine. This is not going to be easy, but the rewards far outweigh anything else I can imagine. Feel free to add me so we can all support one another!
  • gmbraider
    gmbraider Posts: 8 Member
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    I think this is my 4th time trying to start this up again!! This is also my first time reaching out to the community, you're not alone!!
  • wildfire1204
    wildfire1204 Posts: 237 Member
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    New to this, but not new to the attempts. I definitely understand how trying it alone fails for some, as it hasn't worked for me for over 10 years. Hoping we can both be consistent and accountable this time around---we all CAN do this.
  • libland
    libland Posts: 285 Member
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    I am starting over again also. This time I am focusing on more reasonable goals as well as changing habits. The first habit I am going to master this year is slow, mindful eating instead of inhaling my food. I am going to schedule time every day to check in on MFP to remind myself I am not alone.
  • Katiebear_81
    Katiebear_81 Posts: 719 Member
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    I am back after a successful run on weight watchers. Didn't like the new program, though, so I stopped wasting my money.

    Add me as a friend, we can help each other stay accountable. :)
  • Endless_Journey
    Endless_Journey Posts: 136 Member
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    You can do this. Ok I have been here nearly 1200 days, just maintaining now. Have lost 110lbs and just getting over a cancer scare. Yep your ready, your journey has begun, good luck