Deciding whether or not to have Surgery....

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pashinfrut
pashinfrut Posts: 5
in Health and Weight Loss
Yep. I'm in the process of getting a type of weight loss surgery. I have a couple of months to go before it actually does happen IF I decide to do it. I don't want to do it...for so many reasons.

I lost 80pnds in 6 months a while back by simply counting calories and walking. Of course, I gained it back and then some. I never considered weight loss surgery before until seeing friends and acquaintances closer to me go through it. It is NOT easy and they still have to count calories and exercise!

Currently, I've lost 20something pounds by counting calories. It's been fairly easy and I even have 1 sweet treat a day. So, why can't I keep this up? I'm praying I can. The hard part is seeing friends have the surgery and lose it way faster.

Why I want to lose weight:
1. I need to be healthy and want to live
2. I'm tired of being tired
3. I want to look and feel good
4. For my husband and kids (this is more like #1)


Pros for Surgery:
1. With the kind of surgery I may get, the hunger hormone will be mostly gone, so controlling my appetite will be easier
2. I will lose weight and reach my goal more quickly
3. The sooner I lose weight, the sooner I can begin doing activities with my kids that I can't do now
4. I will be more consistent with my weight loss

Cons:
1. It's NOT easy (I've read the forums and seen what people go through. Ugh)
2. The surgery I would get is permanent. Period.
3. If I had it I wouldn't be able to be an example to my family and others. I want to show them that this CAN be done the common sense way. By eating in moderation.
4. There's always the potential for complications (of course there are if I don't lose the weight also)
5. There are a few forever NO's and I don't know that I can do that.

So...talk me out of it.
Thanks for letting me vent

Replies

  • AlexandraLove
    AlexandraLove Posts: 35
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    Talk you out of it...hmm...

    I've seen a lot of successes with surgery. But I've also seen a lot of deaths, where people's bodies just can't take it. There are a number of people out there who have also developed seizures or other problems.

    The surgery, also, may just not work. You can stretch your stomach back out again, putting you right back at square one.
  • MzBug
    MzBug Posts: 2,173 Member
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    Sounds like you have made up your mind and are just looking for reassurance. I know many people that have had the full surgery (not the band) and still had issues with losing weight. Many lose to start and then gain it back plus some extra. You still have to do the calorie counting and watch the nutrients. You still have to get some sort of exercise in. So what changed for those that still have issues losing weight? They have more restrictions FOR LIFE, weeks of down time after surgery, possible complications, surgery scars and in my opinion if they do lose a bunch of weight so quick they look like hell (dull gray skin, sagging skin, hair loss, bones poking). Just my opinion....no thanks.
  • kacarter1017
    kacarter1017 Posts: 651 Member
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    In order for the surgery to be successful, you have to be able to commit to a lifetime of eating healthy. And you've said you aren't there yet. Of course, even with that commitment, there is no guarantee, but right now, it sounds as if you have some more work to do. Weight loss and maintenance of that weight loss are 10% physical and 90% psychological. The pyschological part isn't there. That's not a failure, it's just that it takes time to get to that place and you're not there yet. I would continue on your current plan and see what happens. Maybe in time you will see this as a lifestyle and not a temporary plan. Once you reach that point, you will be able to be successful at either version of weight loss on a permanent basis.
  • Hollycat
    Hollycat Posts: 372
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    I'm not saying yay or nay. With over 100 pounds to lose, I've seriously considered it myself. I'll just tell you where I'm at right now. I'm at acceptance. Acceptance that I will be on a diet for the rest of my life. Definition of diet for me is: to actively diet more days than not. To ensure my calories burned exceeds my calories consumed by recording my calories consumed and exercise, resulting in a net weight loss. Even on the days I am not dieting. To get real and be honest with myself. To not worry about the length of time it takes to lose the weight and to continue to log my food after I've lost it. If this is forever, then it doesn't matter how long it will take. I don't set deadlines. Other than having a general idea of what my 'ideal' weight is, I don't have a specific goal in mind, just to take each day and each moment as it comes and do what I can to ensure my daily net calories consumed are less than I burn. I accept that I am going to do this for the rest of my life. I do not look at a 'diet' as a temporary thing anymore, but I"m honest with myself in that it IS a diet - a choice to eat less in order to lose weight. Naturally thin people do this automatically. They eat and then for a few days they subconsciously diet.

    For me, it must be a conscious thing. I accept that. It is not fair, but I accept it. It is the way I am and it is not going to change. I must be AWARE of what I eat, for when I am not, the bad thing happens - weight gain. I do not restrict food groups or allow cravings to become obsessions. I allow myself to occasionally eat what I want [something with a large calorie count that I've been craving about every 2 or 3 weeks] and RECORD it. Ironically, requiring myself to record EVERYTHING gives me pause to reconsider my choices and I tend to be more successful and make better choices. I do not wallow in the past, for there is much regret there and regret and negative feelings will not help me progress toward contentment and better health.

    So there you have it. Acceptance that I will need to diet for the remainder of my life is where I'm at.

    Hollycat
    :flowerforyou:
  • Papillon22
    Papillon22 Posts: 1,160 Member
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    You said it yourself: you don't want to do it.

    The way I see it is that the opportunity to do the surgery will always be there (and probably improve as science advances). I guess you feel some sort of pressure to do it now, but if you don't feel it in your gut, then maybe it's best to not do it yet.
  • pashinfrut
    pashinfrut Posts: 5
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    Thanks everyone!! I have people on the weight loss surgery boards telling me I could never do it on my own . I don't want to believe that, but I know it's very much possibly true. On the other hand, I've seen some people lose 100pnds or more and keep it off (rare, but true).

    I think, for me, this is a head thing and I need to conquer it whether or not I have the surgery.

    Thanks again. :)
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    Thanks everyone!! I have people on the weight loss surgery boards telling me I could never do it on my own . I don't want to believe that, but I know it's very much possibly true. On the other hand, I've seen some people lose 100pnds or more and keep it off (rare, but true).

    I think, for me, this is a head thing and I need to conquer it whether or not I have the surgery.

    Thanks again. :)

    If you haven't done so, make an appointment talk to a nutritionist or fitness counselor, and see if you can follow their eating and exercise plan for a while. If you can do so, I would keep it up and see where you get with that. If you find yourself struggling a lot, and not just your occasional struggle, but everyday, then maybe the surgery is something to consider? I would never urge you to get surgery, but if you find it will be helpful to your weight loss, then consider it. I understand that it would be great to be able to say "I lost X lbs by myself" but it would be better to be healthier and admit that you needed the surgery to get there than to be overweight/obese for the rest of your life. Whatever decision you make good luck!!
  • Mommyof3texans
    Mommyof3texans Posts: 347
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    You said it yourself that you will still need to be accountable, watch what you eat and exercise. If you're going to have to do that anyway, why put yourself through the risk that comes along with surgery? Will you lose weight faster? Perhaps, but in a year or two will that really make a difference?

    You have PROVED you can be successful, just remember this is your life and for just one day you can do anything. So just take it one day at a time and string those days together. You absolutely can do it and this place is awesome for support!
  • beach_bum_gurl
    beach_bum_gurl Posts: 200
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    "I don't want to do it...for so many reasons."

    Until your reasons for wanting to be at a healthy weight, not being tired, and living for your family overcome the reasons that you do not want to have the surgery, then DO NOT have the surgery--you will only be setting yourself up for a possible failure.

    As someone who has had WLS 5 years ago and lost well over 100 pounds, AND being a healthcare provider, I have friends ask me about the surgery pros/cons frequently. I tell everyone that the decision for surgery should not be taken lightly, and it is a decision that is personal and unique for each individual. Also, once the decision is made to have the surgery, I tell the person to research, research, research their surgeon to make sure that they are getting the best!

    I also tell folks that therapy is also healthy. There are many changes that have to occur psychologically to prepare you for the surgery and the post-op changes that will occur. WLS is just a tool. You have to play by the rules of the game to make it work, and if you are not willing to play by the rules, well, you quickly learn that you will be forced to by the tool.

    Now that I am 5 years out, I have had some slight regain, but I am finding that by going back to the basics, watching what goes in my mouth (particularly the portions) and by exercising that the tool still works for me.

    As I stated before, each person's decision to have or to not have surgery is personal and unique. I will say, it was one of the best things I have done for myself. But for you, it may not be.

    Peace and best of luck on your weight loss journey.

    Beach Bum Gurl

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