Focusing on yourself

Mersie1
Mersie1 Posts: 329 Member
edited November 27 in Motivation and Support
Hi all! I'm in the fragile early stages of recovery from a lifelong eating disorder. My husband (been married for 20 years!) continues to focus on what he weighs, very closely monitors his workouts and food. It's continues to be a struggle for me to just listen to my body and relax around food/exercise when I watch his obsession w it. Struggling to push myself to just focus on myself, follow the meal plan my eating disorder nutrionist wants me to follow, but not too rigidly. Just like my husband, I want a healthy lifestyle, but as my nutrionist points out, too much focus on "health" is not good. I'm really struggling to not relapse into restricting again, which will send me ever brutally headlong into a binge. The beg of the year is always the hardest as everyone is "diet minded"

Replies

  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    Besides the dietician, are you getting help from a therapist?
  • Mersie1
    Mersie1 Posts: 329 Member
    I have been for years. I have scaled back the number of days I meet w her a month, same w nutrionist bec of money and holidays. Therapist is about to go on maternity leave now. Additional challenge, my herniated disc began giving me trouble again a couple of months ago, can barely walk. Getting a spinal shot in a week. Likely that was caused by breaking my foot in June and having been in a walking boot for 3 months. Just feel so out of shape and not able to change that. (My passion is running!) just feel lost and want to gain control of my eating, but that for me screams eating disorder.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    I'm sorry. Hugs


    You need to get your head around the thought that logging is more then what it really is. You are just tracking intake, nothing more.

    There are other ways to eat sensibly without counting calories.
  • BEBR2014
    BEBR2014 Posts: 15 Member
    Mersie1- that sounds like an incredibly difficult situation for you. Try to focus on you and your needs. I know that it is easy to give that advice, when actually having to live it and do it is something else entirely. I wish you the best of luck. I sent you a friend request, feel free to message and vent when you need to.
  • massaoli
    massaoli Posts: 170 Member
    Feel free to add me. Focus on one moment at a time. Is the idea of a temporary therapist while yours goes on leave an option? Or would it cause more stress? Know that I am thinking about you. Take care.
  • scolaris
    scolaris Posts: 2,145 Member
    Also, try to stop thinking about your husband in this. He's going to do whatever it is he does. That's just a distraction for you. When you find yourself riffing on him gently remind yourself to return your focus to YOU. Couples get very entwined over time & you need space from him in this area...
  • scolaris
    scolaris Posts: 2,145 Member
    Also, sorry about all those tough health challenges in a row. That's brutal! I wish you good health in the new year...
  • Mersie1
    Mersie1 Posts: 329 Member
    I am happy to take a break from my therapist whole she is on maternity leave for financial reasons. My husband and I are going to attempt couples therapy again.

    I struggle to know if many of my issues w him are bec of my eating disorder or if I developed my eating disorder bec of my issues w him. My ED really took root when we became a couple. Met at age 18, started dating age 18, married at 25, lost my mom at 25.... Lots and lots of entwining for a really long time. The seeds of my ED were planted before I met him, but it was as though our relationship watered and nourished it! I only seek to understand the origin of the ED not to blame but to attempt to undo it obviously!

    Thanks so much for your support you guys! That alone helps! I know I'm slowly finding my way down the recovery road but holy hell the road is bumpy and not straight!!!!!

    Hope you all are having much success in achieving your goals!
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