Motivation for Hubby

ShellGetsFit · June 2011

Okay everyone, I've been reading through these message boards for days now and there's so much that I've learned....one thing in particular, you all have a wealth of knowledge! So, it's my hope that you can help me find a way to motivate my hubby to get in shape and stick to eating healthy!! I cook at home, that's not an issue, it's healthy and I try to limit portions as best I can. However, it's when he is at work that I cannot control. About a year ago he started a new position at work where he sits in front of a computer ALL day (12 hours), where as before he was always running around, climbing stairs, carrying heavy buckets and bins. So on top of now having non-active days he is eating really bad food constantly!!! After he's done work he's so tired he doesn't want to work out with me or ride his bike. Does anyone have any advice???

drygravytrain · June 2011

I also work behind a computer all day. At the end of the day I feel tired and just want to go home and stare at the wall, but I now know that if I force myself to go exercise, I lose that tired feeling and get the energy I need for the rest of the evening.

Now, even though I am tired when I leave work, I look forward to working out. So put on the puppy eyes and force 'em to go for a while.

KassiV · June 2011

Maybe pack him a lunch with healthy snacks? My boyfriend works at a computer all day and used to eat BK almost daily. It's cheaper for me to pack him a healthy lunch and plenty of good snacks and he feels better and has more energy.

kristy_estes21 · June 2011

Does he realize how bad the food is that he's eating while at work? That was the issue with my husband. I cook healthy at home and he loves the food I cook, but he was eating Subway for lunch everyday. When I showed him the nutritional content (or lack thereof) of what he was ordering he quickly stopped eating it. Now if he has it he is more mindful of what he orders. I normally pack his lunch for him though so that helps. Is that something you can do? Is there a fridge at his work? You can send things with him for snacks and lunch.
I'm trying to get my husband to create an MFP account. Mainly so he can make sure he's getting the right ratio of protein, carbs, and fat. We're doing Insanity and he doesn't track his food like I do so he has no idea how much of each he's getting. His calorie intake isn't really the problem.
Anyways, back to your question. I suggest getting him a lunch box and sending healthy food with him.

Brownski860 · June 2011

I agree... I work behind a desk for 12 hrs a day, sometimes 6 days a wekk (during my busy season). I actually said the my friend yesterday before leaving the office "i am mentally exhausted, i REALLY dont think i can work out today" She told me its not an excuse, just do 30 minutes instead of an hour... Doing SOMETHING is better than nothing!
I know you can make exercise fun with him!!

JBRENTLINGER · June 2011

I had a job where I was active 80% of the time, and now I am in a job where I sit 75% of the time, so I can relate to your husband's current situation. I was not eating healthy lunches and it caught up with me. I was up to 206lbs (5'11" tall) and knew I needed to make changes.

I started the Tim Ferriss 4 Hour Body and it has made a huge difference in my life and what I eat. I have dropped a total of 28lbs, 2.5 inches off my waist, and my energy levels are elevated. I continue to use the wealth of knowledge from his book and it has truly made an impact. It was hard at first, (no dairy, no bread, and very little fruit), but it sure did work.

crobinson53 · June 2011

The bottom line:

He has to make up his own mind that he needs to workout. No amount of convincing, pleading, bargaining, sex or lack of sex will persuade him. Hopefully he'll wake up soon before he's old, fat, and alone. I'd put a copy of your workout schedule on the refrigerator, make him his lunch, and sit down with him and tell him how much it would mean to you that he start focusing on his health.

If he loves and respects you he'll clean up his act and get on board.:happy:

ShellGetsFit · June 2011

Thanks so much everyone...great advice so far! He does take a lunch everyday, leftovers from the meals that I cook. However he needs to start taking healthy snacks too for throughout the day. The only reason he is eating junk food at work is because he craves it. Someone else will show up with it or say they are going to get it and he follows suit. So I'll start packing him some snacks and making him some salads too.
As far as exercise...that's the biggest struggle. He loves watching movies (as do I) and playing video games. He used to LOVE biking, bought him a fabulous bike when we moved to Ottawa 4 years ago and he's barely used it. He also used to be a frequent disc golf player....bought tons of great disks, bags and accessories....doesn't do that anymore either. I'm at a loss! My only way right now is to enforce him taking the dog for a long walk DAILY...that at least is a start!

ShellGetsFit · June 2011

The bottom line:

He has to make up his own mind that he needs to workout. No amount of convincing, pleading, bargaining, sex or lack of sex will persuade him. Hopefully he'll wake up soon before he's old, fat, and alone. I'd put a copy of your workout schedule on the refrigerator, make him his lunch, and sit down with him and tell him how much it would mean to you that he start focusing on his health.

If he loves and respects you he'll clean up his act and get on board.:happy:

So true!!! I just keep hoping that I can talk him into it. He says he wants it, says he's unhappy with his weight and lack of energy but does nothing about it. So frustrating!!! But you are so right....he has to make up his mind that it's what he wants...

crobinson53 · June 2011

I speak from first hand experience, only I waited until it was too long to save my own marriage.

See if he'll join this website. There's plenty of us on here to support him. Small steps lead to big things...

panda_rocks · June 2011

sign him up for that army run ;P
hehe.
if he doesnt want to pass out on the road, he will have to get in shape :P

srsly though, great advice here...its a shame he isnt more motivated...but as you mentioned, with a job that he is sitting far more often, he is likely lacking the energy to do the things he used to.
Kind of like when you work out consistantly, its natural, and you crave it....but the less you do, the harder it is to get going again.
(I feel that way when I get into ruts).
what if you got a bike too?....would that motivate him to go out and bike with you?

Melissa_Roy189 · June 2011

Is he able to bike to/from work? Might be an idea to slowly get him moving again...

rickpearce · June 2011

Is he the kinda guy who is competitive and if you make it a competition between you and him he will try harder?

Is he the kinda guy who would step up if there was a reward hanging in the balance?

Is he self conscious enough that if you showed him a pic of himself when he was more active vs today would he be motivated to change?

Are you able to meet him for lunch sometimes? Or drop in to see him at work once in a while?

Just throwing ideas around.

ShellGetsFit · June 2011

I would love to get a bike too, that might help but I just don't know when we'd get the chance to go out together. I guess we'd have to get a bike trailer for the girls and get Savanna riding her bike like a pro too! Great exercise for us all!!
He can't really bike to work...it's a bit too far for him to bike to and from work everyday.
The best suggestion....giving him a reward for getting so far and making changes!!! I'm going to come up with a good reward for him...great idea!!! He's not overly competetive but a reward would go miles with him! That's how his Dad got him to quit smoking...and he's never turned back!!
Thanks so much everyone, I really appreciate all the suggestions and feedback! If anyone has any other ideas I'd love to hear them!!! :happy:

tinovr · June 2011

I had to find the workout that fit me... running on a treadmill.. ugh boring.. weightlifting.. ok.. but no cardio... biking alone.. again boring.. I'm not the guy that's gonna get his butt to the gym to hop on an exercise machine..

I needed something that I was "signed up for" and "on my schedule"... a few yrs ago, it was a golf league, with a partner.. since he was relying on me, I felt obligated to him to show up. Just walking 9 holes (2 hrs) is a decent day's exercise..

lately, I found tae kwon do... I have scheduled classes.. the workouts are interesting and a major stress reliever, there's measurable progress (belts), and a long term goal (black belt).. Even on days I come home from work tired, I find the strength just to get to the dojang.. once I'm there, the instructors have my committment..

So.. he's gotta find his thing.. whatever that may be ... and make it a routine... basketball league, martial arts, running club.. whatever..

DeBlue · June 2011

Many times we need to remember not to push too hard, nor to take responsibility for their decisions. Both can actually de-motivate, so be careful not to over-do it. Losing/maintaining weight is such a difficult choice best realized when a person is ready to commit to it.

Like the ideas on this thread though and hope to help inspire my guy to get going also!

ShellGetsFit · June 2011

More great ideas!! Tae Kwon Do might be something he could get into, or something organized such as that. Will run some ideas past him!

Oh I'm not pushing really hard, I know that won't get anyone anywhere but super annoyed...lol! Just trying to give suggestions to see if I can find that spark. I do need to push that he stop eating garbage food though, that's not helping with anything at all!!! I hope you can find something to motivate your guy too!!!

Motivation for Hubby

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