I'm new and this ain't easy for sure!

LolaPlant · January 2016

Hello to all of you. I've been on fitnesspal before, but never to the message boards, so I'm new "here".

Basically, I'm tired of being tired..............and tired of no longer seeing thin (or thinNER) in the mirror anymore.

I have an office job, so I sit a lot. I'm hungry most of the time, and with all the allergies I have, I'm tired and I have a headache most of the time. As a result, losing weight has not been easy for me. I'm tall and many folks say I look fine, but no I don't. I KNOW I need to lose a few pounds, but now that I'm over 40, it's so NOT easy and I've put on the weight. I never had a weight problem when I was younger, but it's caught up to me now.

Hubby is overweight and less motivated than I am. I'm hoping that if I can get motivated, it will help him also.

HOW do y'all get motivated? Or is it a "just do it anyway" type of attitude we have to have? I wish motivation would just fall on me, but that doesn't seem to be happening. Darn it. *LOL*

Any help and/or advice y'all can share would be appreciated.
Have a great day y'all!
Lola

GinnieC100 · January 2016

I have done My Fitness Pal on and off for years. Just coming back after a long time of not journaling. I have problems with motivation too. I start strong and then after a few weeks I don't care anymore. Trying to find that magic to keep going. It is so hard to lose weight as I age. During younger years when I wanted to lose 10 lbs, I would just do it. Now to take 10 lbs off is a major event!
Weight loss takes place in the kitchen not in the gym. If that were the case I would be super skinny. I work out every day doing something. I run and do strength training. I wish I could just get the eating part under control.
Hang in there. Perhaps this time it will work.
Ginnie

VeryBerryJen · January 2016

I'm in a similar boat. I sit most of the day, at a medical office job. Recently started back up with journaling. but since the holidays began, I've been over and then I get mad at myself once I'm over my calories. On top of that, because I know the holidays are over, my dad just had open heart surgery this past Wednesday and I have been in that mood where I'll start tracking, but after all the bad choices I stop cause I'm over my calories.

This weekend, I just cleaned out the fridge, and went shopping on Sunday, went shopping and was more mindful buying food. So I'm hoping this week will be a change, even if I go over my calories, I plan on still journaling. Once things calm down at my house with my dad, I'm going back to the gym.

Hang in there ladies. Have a good day.

clioandboy · January 2016

HI I am returning to MFP, I was a success now I could be in the guinness book of records for weight gain and how to screw up. I am going to make myself motivated, I am not yet, I will suddenly hit the zone and start feeling the benefits then like Ginnie above something will sideswipe me and i will run to the fridge...... I am looking for new friends to do this with, please add me i cannot even work out how to add people with this new fandangled site!

belinda_73 · January 2016

I just recently gave up dairy and was shocked that my allergies went away, along with bloat and other digestive issues. I noticed results within 2 weeks, you may want to give it a try.

LolaPlant · January 2016

Thank you Ginnie for your reply. You stated that "Weight loss takes place in the kitchen not in the gym."
I've NEVER heard that said, but DUH! <insert a head slap> Of course it does, but I seem to focus more on the lack of physical activity. I do watch what I eat, but I will confess that I don't always watch the amount cuz I'm H-U-N-G-R-Y. *LOL*
I'm hoping it does work this time. I really want it to work, but like you ~ I get to the point where I don't care anymore. UGH! I want to keep caring and remain motivated. I just have to accept that I won't always be motivated, and continue to stick with it regardless.
You hang in there too!

LolaPlant · January 2016

Thank you MIUJen for your reply.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad, and I pray that he will recover quickly and well.

I'm trying not to get mad at myself because that just discourages me and gives me even LESS motivation.
You hang in there!

LolaPlant · January 2016

Thank you clioandboy for your reply.
I did add you.........I think.............I hope.
Maybe we can help each other out. I hope I can stick to it this time around and not leave and give up.

Have a great day!

LolaPlant · January 2016

Thank you for your reply belfle.
I've had allergies all my life. I'm labelled as "being allergic to the environment". Oh great! Like I can get away from that. *LOL*
So you gave up dairy huh? Hmm..............all dairy? Or specific things such as milk? Did you replace it with anything? It might be worth a try that's for sure. I'll have to look into that. Thank you for the tip.
Happy Monday to you!

lilawolf · January 2016

Motivation does not fall out of the sky or grow on trees (unfortunately). You have to find it in yourself. I finally hit my breaking point when I saw 3 very large women waiting on an elevator to go up one floor. I'd been gaining 10lbs a year for a while, and when I saw them, something just clicked. If I didn't change, soon enough, that would be me. AH! What helped to keep me motivated was non-scale in addition to scale goals. I wanted to be stronger so my lift numbers were motivation. I wanted to do mud runs, and I love the Zombies!Run app, so that got me running. Martial arts makes me feel strong and bad *kitten*. All of these things were fun, made me feel good and energetic (actually helps with my mild depression/seasonal blues), and LET me eat more while still losing! WIN WIN WIN!

Try to get out of the "ugh, I have to eat this. Crap, I ate that so I HAVE to torture myself in the gym" down, down, down. No wonder people give up and eat a donut.

At a certain point, you just have to make the decision to just do it no matter what. You go to work every day right? Mondays suck, but you are still there. This is the same thing. Just say: I WILL make lunches for the week on Sundays. I WILL take a 20 minute walk every day at lunch. I WILL go to the gym M,W,F. I will only drink alcohol on Friday and Saturday (these were mine).... Or whatever you need to do. Waiting until you are motivated means waiting a long time and quitting quickly.

GinnieC100 · January 2016

Sometimes what we perceive as hunger is really thirst. Try maybe drinking more water. I'll try that first before I dig into a snack. Normally snacks, in my case, aren't necessarily healthy. I am developing the habit of carrying a water bottle around with me where ever I go. It wouldn't hurt to try. Please feel free to friend me. We maybe can encourage each other.
Clioandboy, I friended you too.

Rdsgoal16 · January 2016

I really can relate, being confined to my desk most of the day and over 40 it packed on, I hate getting up early but was so sick of where I was I started forcing myself to wake up and do 30 minutes on a recumbent bike, after dropping 25 pounds its a habit and I have 2x the energy. I stopped drinking mil and changed my protein shakes to water, my headaches and allergies have really dropped off. you can do it, push through the times when it is difficult to work out and it gets easier.

atiana19 · January 2016

I am consistently inconsistent on here but it helped me lose a lot in the beginning so I always find my way back..Ihave my last 25-30 to lose and its been very very hard but I will stay the course I have always had a struggle with food. I love it and truth is you have to get a little obsessed about fitness for it to work it takes focus in my experience when you have the tendency to overeat. But we can do this lots of luck to you ..feel free to friend if youd like

jacklifts · January 2016

motivation is tough consistently. habit formation is much easier. you only need enough motivation to form a habit, then that will take care of itself. so start small and pick a habit you want to have - for example, exercise. exercise just two days a week for 20 minutes. make sure you do it every week. after 6-8 weeks, it'll be a lot easier to keep it going because you'll have started a habit. then add a third day (or whatever you want to do). or if it's logging, pick one meal to log, for example, like dinner. eat whatever you want the whole day, but only log dinner calories. the try to pick a target - like half of your daily alloted calories, and hit that every time with your dinner. once you've done that consistently for a few weeks, next try logging the rest of the day and see how it goes. habit>>motivation

bellkat31 · January 2016

I am working on this and would never be considered a role model. From my experience it is all about the planning. I plan meals, snack (just in case) workout times, etc in my calendar. So I have that schedule to keep me on track in life things happen so I have a few emergency meals frozen. I spend 3 to 4 hours every Sunday on planning and meal prep. It is 80% nutrition and 20% workout. When I focus on that I do great when I don't I gain weight. Truly comes down to my choice

LolaPlant · January 2016

Hi lilawolf. Thank you for your reply.
I know, darn it ~ I wish motivation did fall out of the sky. *LOL* I'm just having a hard time finding it I guess.

I had to look up "non-scale goals" as I've not heard that term before. I guess the fact that I still have favorite clothes that no longer fit me would be my non-scale goals. I would really like to fit into those clothes cuz I have some really nice things. I want to be stronger and I used to be. One of my non-scale goals I think would be that I would really like to do a marathon. I don't know why, but I've just always wanted to do one. You know, like a 5k run or something, and right now I'm not sure I could do an "around the block K".

I'll have to search and see if they list future marathons for my area and maybe I could strive for that. Maybe having that as a goal could help me. Hmmm..........

I have often thought about taking martial arts. I took a class in college YEARS ago, when I was in pretty good shape, and that instructor was psycho. I mean I literally got sick and had to leave after one of his "before class begins" work-outs. And I think that kinda made him smile, but I didn't care ~ I left. If it satisfied him and helped the rest of the class get beyond that portion, then so be it. I did pass his class though, but it wasn't a good experience at all. However, I'm sure that not all instructors are like that, and I could probably find a class now that would be geared more for my age..........not that I'm old, but I'm not 20 anymore that's for sure.

You are so right. I have to go to work and I do it............good thing I like my job, so that's not an "ugh" situation. However, people always say they feel better after getting into the habit of working out, so hopefully it won't take that long for me to hit that point as well. No one likes an "ugh" situation that's for sure. I will think POSITIVE though and get myself moving! I gotta at least START!

Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

LolaPlant · January 2016

That's a really good point about the water and being thirsty Ginnie. I will give that a try. I admit that I do not like drinking a lot of water for the simple reason that I do not like getting up 3, 4, 5 times a night to visit the bathroom. I would rather sleep and get some rest. That's part of the reason I'm tired a lot.

I sent you a friend request. Thank you so much.

Have a great day!

LolaPlant · January 2016

Thank you Rdsgoal16 for sharing what worked for you.
I like protein shakes, so I will try taking out milk and using water..........or maybe juice instead. I usually use milk, but I bet the change would help.

And you're right ~ I just gotta push thru it!

try2again · January 2016

My motivation was how much better I felt... but of course, that doesn't happen until you start. I was grumbling when I made my MFP account- "This is going to be hard", "I'm not going to be able to eat anything I want anymore", "my joints hurt too much so I won't be able to exercise", etc. I'm 47 and I expected to have a harder time, too. But I just started logging what I ate and mostly kept to my calorie goal. Made some minor changes to my diet so I could accomplish that. Didn't seem too hard. Tried my stationary bike and realized it was easier on my ankles & knees, so I'd do that for 10 or 15 minutes and some gentle calisthenics. I was feeling pretty good about that, and then started to see a little weight loss. Cool! That made me want to try a couple more changes. Starting going outside for *short* walks. Lost more weight. Etc, etc. You get the idea. It's ridiculous how much better I feel and I don't feel "old" anymore. I have bad days, even bad weeks, but I know now there's no reason for me to quit because it's just not that hard for all the huge benefits I'm reaping. I bet you've got it in you to log what you eat... and then just see what might follow.

LolaPlant · January 2016

Thank you atiana19 for your reply. I didn't have a weight problem when I was younger, but I've always liked to eat and now it's catching up with me. My mother has a sweet tooth and when I was a kid, it was nothing for me to come home from school and have a piece of cake (or even 2 pieces if I was REALLY hungry) or some other kind of junk. Even now when I visit her, she's got cake, cookies or even Little Debbie's out on the table. So I grew up with that and never thought a thing about it until later when I started putting on weight.

I have had to really change my thinking over the years and stop looking at sugar foods as a snack or even a reward. THAT has not been easy for sure.

LolaPlant · January 2016

Thank you jacklifts for your reply. You make a great point about exercise. Many times I start all gung-ho and do it everyday, then I get tired or I hurt myself and have to stop. I think I just need to chill out and be slow and steady like the turtle.

As for the logging, I was here a long time ago and I did the logging. I found that it did help because even though I'm the only one that sees the log (I'm not ready to make that public yet. *LOL*), I would stop sometimes before I ate something and ask myself "do I really want to log that?" and sometimes I wouldn't eat it because I was being very honest in my logging and I just didn't want to log that. Thank you for mentioning that because I had forgotten about that, so I'll get back to that again.

workout_ninja · January 2016

You dont need to to exercise to lose weight, you need to eat at a calorie deficit to lose weight. I work out 5-6 days a week (I love it, Im in the habit and cant NOT do it now! But that took a full year of forcing myself to do it before it became a habit)

I started slowly gaining weight 2 years ago and Ive gained 10lbs a year. I realised that its because I felt I could eat what I wanted because I was exercising - but I realised I couldnt. FYI I was training for a half marathon so I could burn 1000 calories a day and still gain weight!

Get your calories under control before you start thinking about exercising. Weigh everything on electric scales and log it in your MFP diary - you will soon see what you are overeating on and work on that. In the meantime, take a nice walk or a bike ride or a zumba class - something that you will enjoy.

Just remember - weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise.

LolaPlant · January 2016

Thank you for your reply bellkat31. That's a great tip! Yes, I need to plan things out better than I do. Many times it's about "what do I have here in the office?" or "I think I'll go out and get this". And while I do go for salads and not use creamy dressings, it's still not very well planned. Thank you for sharing that idea. <insert a thumbs up>

try2again · January 2016

LolaPlant wrote: »

As for the logging, I was here a long time ago and I did the logging. I found that it did help because even though I'm the only one that sees the log (I'm not ready to make that public yet. *LOL*), I would stop sometimes before I ate something and ask myself "do I really want to log that?" and sometimes I wouldn't eat it because I was being very honest in my logging and I just didn't want to log that. Thank you for mentioning that because I had forgotten about that, so I'll get back to that again.

One of the most helpful aspects of being on MFP for me has been having a small group of friends with open diaries. Not only does it help with making good choices- "do I really want to have to log that and have them see it?"- we are constantly raiding each other's diaries for good ideas & new products that help us meet our goals.

LolaPlant · January 2016

Thank you try2again for your reply. You make a valid point. I can see how making it public would help. I didn't realize you would make it public with just a small group of people. I thought it was either all public or not. I will have to think about this. Right now I don't think I'm ready for that step yet, but I think I might be willing to try it later on. Thank you for the suggestion.

AngryGangrel · January 2016

Hi Lola! Personally--and this is just me, personally--I think motivation is overrated. Motivation is easy. Just the fact that you're here and you know you have to get healthier IS all the motivation you need to start. Commitment is the hard part, the part where so many people fail (and where I have failed, so many times before). But it's commitment--not motivation--that's going to see you through to your goal and keep you there.

What's worked for me so far is to look at healthy diet and exercise as being like a marriage, or a job you want to keep. There are days when it's magical and easy, there are other days when it's boring, infuriating, frustrating, tiresome, or just plain drives you nuts...but you stick with it anyway because you made a commitment and ultimately you want this, despite the bad days. It's commitment that creates consistency, and consistency is the name of the game when it comes to weight loss and healthy habits. Ultimately we're in this for the rest of our lives!

Which is not to say there's anything wrong with motivation. On the contrary, any time you see progress, or get a "good job!" from a friend, that feels GREAT and it's going to make you want to keep going. It's just that, as great as it feels, it's not going to get you through the bad times when you feel like giving up.

“Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.” - Bruce Lee

AnnPT77 · January 2016

LolaPlant wrote: »

Hi lilawolf. Thank you for your reply.
I know, darn it ~ I wish motivation did fall out of the sky. *LOL* I'm just having a hard time finding it I guess.

I had to look up "non-scale goals" as I've not heard that term before. I guess the fact that I still have favorite clothes that no longer fit me would be my non-scale goals. I would really like to fit into those clothes cuz I have some really nice things. I want to be stronger and I used to be. One of my non-scale goals I think would be that I would really like to do a marathon. I don't know why, but I've just always wanted to do one. You know, like a 5k run or something, and right now I'm not sure I could do an "around the block K". I'll have to search and see if they list future marathons for my area and maybe I could strive for that. Maybe having that as a goal could help me. Hmmm..........

Maybe start by looking into "Couch to 5K" programs (you'll see that referenced as "C25K" around here sometimes). These are programs designed to start you with walking, and get you running. There are later versions of training plans to move you to longer runs, but C25K is a good start.

I have often thought about taking martial arts. I took a class in college YEARS ago, when I was in pretty good shape, and that instructor was psycho. I mean I literally got sick and had to leave after one of his "before class begins" work-outs. And I think that kinda made him smile, but I didn't care ~ I left. If it satisfied him and helped the rest of the class get beyond that portion, then so be it. I did pass his class though, but it wasn't a good experience at all. However, I'm sure that not all instructors are like that, and I could probably find a class now that would be geared more for my age..........not that I'm old, but I'm not 20 anymore that's for sure.

There are lots of different martial arts, and lots of different instructors. The different arts emphasize different things, so you might enjoy one more than another. And instructors come in all personality types; they're for sure not all psychos. (I started kung fu in my 30s and practiced it pretty seriously for 8-10 years. The instructors from various clubs & workshops were, by and large, decent folks, with only a couple who were are little . . . intense (but not psycho).)

Try a class (martial arts or any other active thing, for that matter), stick with it for at least a few weeks to see if you like it (unless there are injuries or more psychos involved!). Then if that isn't the one, try another.

You are so right. I have to go to work and I do it............good thing I like my job, so that's not an "ugh" situation. However, people always say they feel better after getting into the habit of working out, so hopefully it won't take that long for me to hit that point as well. No one likes an "ugh" situation that's for sure. I will think POSITIVE though and get myself moving! I gotta at least START!

Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

I'd pretty much guarantee that if you find something active you can truly enjoy, and stick with it for a while, you will feel better. And as you get stronger, lots of things in daily life become easier to do, too.

At age 60, I've been quite active for the last dozen years (even when fat; thin is a "just this past year" thing for me). Life would be soooo much worse in so many ways if I weren't.

Oh, and by the way: I'm wondering what your current weight loss objective & loss rate target is. Often, when people report that they're sooooo hungry, their calorie deficit is too aggressive to be sustainable. It's better to have a smaller deficit that you can stick with than to have a giant loss rate target that you can't sustain. Just because MFP will let you set your calorie level to lose 2lbs a week, doesn't mean you need to do that - and it isn't even healthful to lose that fast unless you have quite a bit to lose.

Also, it pays to experiment a bit with what and when you eat: Some folks are more satisfied (less hungry/more energetic) if they get more protein, others find fats filling, etc. Some do best on a big breakfast and smaller other meals; others distribute their calories over the day differently. Some do better with snacks between meals (or many small meals vs. 3 main ones). Try various ways, each for a few days, and find your happy spot!

LolaPlant · January 2016

try2again wrote: »

My motivation was how much better I felt... but of course, that doesn't happen until you start. I was grumbling when I made my MFP account- "This is going to be hard", "I'm not going to be able to eat anything I want anymore", "my joints hurt too much so I won't be able to exercise", etc. I'm 47 and I expected to have a harder time, too. But I just started logging what I ate and mostly kept to my calorie goal. Made some minor changes to my diet so I could accomplish that. Didn't seem too hard. Tried my stationary bike and realized it was easier on my ankles & knees, so I'd do that for 10 or 15 minutes and some gentle calisthenics. I was feeling pretty good about that, and then started to see a little weight loss. Cool! That made me want to try a couple more changes. Starting going outside for *short* walks. Lost more weight. Etc, etc. You get the idea. It's ridiculous how much better I feel and I don't feel "old" anymore. I have bad days, even bad weeks, but I know now there's no reason for me to quit because it's just not that hard for all the huge benefits I'm reaping. I bet you've got it in you to log what you eat... and then just see what might follow.

I didn't see your first reply until now try2again. I will work on trying to do something everyday for exercise. I bought one of those big rubberband thingys, so I could work on a few muscles here and there. At work I could get up and go outside and walk up and down the stairs a couple times. That's not always easy for me because it really bothers my knees, but maybe they are weak? Maybe if I keep doing it, at some point they won't hurt anymore. That's what I'm hoping anyway.

LolaPlant · January 2016

workout_ninja wrote: »

You dont need to to exercise to lose weight, you need to eat at a calorie deficit to lose weight. I work out 5-6 days a week (I love it, Im in the habit and cant NOT do it now! But that took a full year of forcing myself to do it before it became a habit)

I started slowly gaining weight 2 years ago and Ive gained 10lbs a year. I realised that its because I felt I could eat what I wanted because I was exercising - but I realised I couldnt. FYI I was training for a half marathon so I could burn 1000 calories a day and still gain weight!

Get your calories under control before you start thinking about exercising. Weigh everything on electric scales and log it in your MFP diary - you will soon see what you are overeating on and work on that. In the meantime, take a nice walk or a bike ride or a zumba class - something that you will enjoy.

Just remember - weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise.

Thank you for your reply workout_ninja. I see your point. That makes sense. I have started to use the logging and wow, I'm amazed at how easy it is to go so fast over your limit. Thank you for that tip/info.

LolaPlant · January 2016

AngryGangrel wrote: »

Hi Lola! Personally--and this is just me, personally--I think motivation is overrated. Motivation is easy. Just the fact that you're here and you know you have to get healthier IS all the motivation you need to start. Commitment is the hard part, the part where so many people fail (and where I have failed, so many times before). But it's commitment--not motivation--that's going to see you through to your goal and keep you there.

What's worked for me so far is to look at healthy diet and exercise as being like a marriage, or a job you want to keep. There are days when it's magical and easy, there are other days when it's boring, infuriating, frustrating, tiresome, or just plain drives you nuts...but you stick with it anyway because you made a commitment and ultimately you want this, despite the bad days. It's commitment that creates consistency, and consistency is the name of the game when it comes to weight loss and healthy habits. Ultimately we're in this for the rest of our lives!

Which is not to say there's anything wrong with motivation. On the contrary, any time you see progress, or get a "good job!" from a friend, that feels GREAT and it's going to make you want to keep going. It's just that, as great as it feels, it's not going to get you through the bad times when you feel like giving up.

“Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.” - Bruce Lee

Thank you for your reply AngryGangrel. You make a valid point about motivation vs. commitment. I can see where you are coming from on that. Consistency can be difficult some days. Some days I'm worn out and it's just "easier" to make the wrong choice, but I've got to pay attention for those times and then push thru it regardless of how I feel.

Thank you for sharing your insight!

LolaPlant · January 2016

Thank you for your reply AnnPT77. I've never heard of C25K before, so thank you for that info. I will look that up.

Yes, I agree ~ not all instructors are the same. I will plan to look into something that would be better suited for me at this stage in my life.

Well I just seem to always be hungry, but I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I'm just bored or tired or whatever. For the last couple days I've not been hungry at all. I've had salad for lunch and an orange for snack. I'm tired, but that's probably because my allergies are abso-stinkin-lutely crazy today. I've been up since early morning and I can't stop sneezing and blowing my nose, so THAT has worn me out very much so for today.

So this just occurred to me today that maybe it's not that I'm hungry so much, but that I need to occupy my time in other ways. It's funny though I'm not really a couch potato, but I sit at work a lot and do paperwork, then in the evenings, depending on if I am working late or not, I tend to sit a lot as well. So I think I need to get up and get moving when I get home.

Maybe light exercise in the evenings would be good. I've not done a lot of that because I've read that exercise can get your body moving and that that can interfere with your sleep if you do it too late in the day. However, like you said " Try various ways, each for a few days, and find your happy spot! "

Thank you again.

I'm new and this ain't easy for sure!

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