anger from having to start over

Anens630
Anens630 Posts: 54 Member
edited November 28 in Motivation and Support
Has anyone else dealt with anger towards yourself and frustration from doing so well, then falling off, and now having to start over? Even though I literally have positive quotes taped throughout the house and a motivation board--I am so angry and mad at myself.

What can I do or when will this go away? I'm not harming myself out of anger--I'm just so pissed off! I was doing so well---incredibly well...my muscles were getting so toned and that takes a bit to achieve--but they were getting there--especially my arms! Loved that. My tummy was s.l.o.w.l.y losing all 3 kids worth of baby weight---my energy! I felt wonderful--it was great--I was yearning for the gym on days that I couldn't go. I felt happy. Healthy. Sexy!!

Then end of summer, my oldest gets diagnosed with a learning disorder, me with Lymes Disease (seriously y'all, check for ticks!!) and my mom with stage 4 cancer--and I dive right into ice-cream--and chips...and stopped working out.

And now I am constantly tugging at my shirts b/c they are tight again and I got rid of all my larger clothes. And my arms? No more buffness :(

I am headed to the gym now--and back to counting calories--but alas, here I am again and this time, I'm mad. Last year at this time, when I went hard at this, I was POSITIVE! So "you got this girl" mentality. Completely different mindset this time.

This time--I'm angry and almost feel like "just give it up". I won't, but I just wonder why I have such a negative attitude this time.

Thanks for letting me vent

Replies

  • yesimpson
    yesimpson Posts: 1,372 Member
    Alycat411 wrote: »
    I am headed to the gym now--and back to counting calories

    This is the important bit. You're back on it now. You had a lot of stuff to deal with, but you didn't give up. You just had a bit of a setback.

    You got where you wanted to be once, you can do it again.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    Use this as a learning experience and move on. There's no use beating yourself up over spilled milk. Just get back into and let it go.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    There only today

    And the future

    Think of how you will make this work in maintenance...work to that ...you will be fine

    ( and I'm a big old tough-talker, but I absolutely get your post, it scares me how easy it might be to lose focus and have to go back to it...but you can do it )
  • pierson_lauren
    pierson_lauren Posts: 43 Member
    I feel you girl
  • Reneebycakes
    Reneebycakes Posts: 24 Member
    Stop wasting your energy on anger and use this as a learning experience. You can't go back in time and change what you did but you CAN think about how you can handle things differently the next time you're stressed out. Make a plan, write it down. Forgive yourself and be patient with yourself but don't forget the mistakes you made.
    Trust me, I get it, my life has been a roller coaster ride for a little over a year but I'm finally back in the right mind set and ready to get the weight back off and get healthy and fit again.
  • MyBoyG
    MyBoyG Posts: 104 Member
    Reneebycakes wrote: »
    Stop wasting your energy on anger and use this as a learning experience. You can't go back in time and change what you did but you CAN think about how you can handle things differently the next time you're stressed out. Make a plan, write it down. Forgive yourself and be patient with yourself but don't forget the mistakes you made.
    Trust me, I get it, my life has been a roller coaster ride for a little over a year but I'm finally back in the right mind set and ready to get the weight back off and get healthy and fit again.

    Yep, yep and yep! Find another stress reliever or comfort zone rather than food. It derails every time. Kind of like and ex-smoker....all it takes is one to have it snowball back into a bad habit. It is too easy to grab food...grab your sneakers and head to the gym - pump some iron, sweat it off on an Elliptical, and drink water anytime the urge to eat due to stress strikes!
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
    edited January 2016
    OMG, the stress you were under, though! I remember when I found out my mom had cancer. It's crushing. And then Lyme disease is a terribly scary diagnosis for many folks! And your kid, too? Naw, that's just a lot.

    So give yourself a break. If you just put on some weight, that is handling the stress very well, imho. If you are angry-feeling, it could be a little displaced psychologically. Maybe you are angry at all the crappy stuff that happened? I know I was angry when similar things happened to me and mine. It's natural!

    So go get that anger out in exercise! Take kickboxing if you like it, lol. Or use exercise as 'me time'. That is very freeing when it clicks that way for me :) Best of luck!
  • Kristin2626
    Kristin2626 Posts: 24 Member
    edited January 2016
    The effort into getting buff isn't lost -- even if you gain weight and your muscles start to atrophy and aren't as defined -- you still have muscle memory. You will probably be right back where you were in almost far less time!
  • RoseTheWarrior
    RoseTheWarrior Posts: 2,035 Member
    Cut yourself some slack. Think of it this way.... If you were describing that scenario but talking about your best friend, like she told you this story, would you want to yell at her and be angry with her? No? You'd more likely feel some sympathy/empathy for her and give her understanding and encouragement.

    You need to treat yourself like you are your best friend. Let it go. Give yourself a helping hand to get back at it, lift yourself up, and get moving forward again. No one can be successful if their minds are full of negative, self-defeating talk.
  • Anens630
    Anens630 Posts: 54 Member
    You guys are great. I feel like crying because I hold this in (especially around my daughters-can't show them my insecurities re: body) thank you for talking with me and virtually encouraging me. I need to stop this way of thinking... It's hard :(
  • ltssharon
    ltssharon Posts: 195 Member
    Tell your angry self to back off and show a little respect for a person who came through in so many trying situations. Tell your angry self that YOU ARE NOT A NUMBER ON A SCALE, and to get a little perspective.

    Best to you. You are an amazing person
  • swwass130
    swwass130 Posts: 23 Member
    I feel I start over almost every Monday morning. It is frustrating, I plan to make a plan for Tursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I am home this weekend so I feel I will be successful.
  • kbrouthers
    kbrouthers Posts: 8 Member
    Just take one day at a time and slowly you with get that positive mind set again. I have been down this road my whole life and I always say never again but life always messes that up. I just stated back myself and I hope to follow through yet again!
  • pgray007
    pgray007 Posts: 47 Member
    I'd had far less painful life problems but also fell off the wagon in the summer, and am now fighting back through the same 20# (plus and extra ~8 for good measure) that I did so well losing. Frankly I'm a bit pissed at myself, but try to apply some of that anger to a solid workout and often feel better afterwards. Also, it sounds goofy, but I also tell some of my favorite snack foods to "go fly a kite" (perhaps using more colorful language) when I pass them in my pantry, as the 10AM "pre-lunch lunch" was a key element to my downfall. I don't think you necessarily need to completely suppress your anger, just see if there are healthy ways to apply it towards motivation, get it out of your system, and a return to the positive.
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