people tell me i'm too skinny but i'm not!!

marija09
marija09 Posts: 24 Member
edited November 28 in Motivation and Support
when i had lost weight last year, some people around me said that i'm too skinny and that I should eat better (i.e. eat more according to them). I feel better when I'm skinny, I used to be muscular but have lost 20kg since as I wanted to be lean.

I have gained a bit of the weight back as there's a lot of criticism surrounding my decisions. Will people ever be able to deal with the change and accept my new body shape?

help please!!!

Replies

  • Kyrenora
    Kyrenora Posts: 133 Member
    Have you talked to your doctor about your weight? There definitely is such a thing as "too skinny." If you're hearing it from a lot of people, you may want to get a professional opinion.
  • rankinsect
    rankinsect Posts: 2,238 Member
    Well, there's two possibilities:

    1. They're wrong.
    2. They're right.

    It's kind of hard to tell which without actual data, like pictures or stats (height, weight, BMI, BF%, etc.)

    Sometimes people have a hard time seeing someone they know in a new way. Sometimes dieters get messed up self perceptions or unhealthy food obsessions and take things way too far.
  • 2bfit_2016
    2bfit_2016 Posts: 13 Member
    I have heard this too many times myself and honestly the people who were telling me this were just way wrong. I still had 40 lbs to lose to be considered even normal/healthy, I was still clinically obese when people were telling me I was too skinny so I think it was more or less a way for them to try to deter me from achieving more success.
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,371 Member
    So how tall are you and what do you weigh?
  • Shrinking_Erin
    Shrinking_Erin Posts: 125 Member
    I went to live in Hawaii for 6 months many years ago. Due to healthier lifestyle I dropped like 25 pounds. I hadn't realised I'd lost that much until I came back to TN and my sisters first words were .. Omg you're soooo skinny. I was still 280 pounds! Anyway. Like a previous poster said.. Without stats we can't really say either way.
  • marija09
    marija09 Posts: 24 Member
    eringurl33 wrote: »
    I went to live in Hawaii for 6 months many years ago. Due to healthier lifestyle I dropped like 25 pounds. I hadn't realised I'd lost that much until I came back to TN and my sisters first words were .. Omg you're soooo skinny. I was still 280 pounds! Anyway. Like a previous poster said.. Without stats we can't really say either way.

    I'm 180cm and planning on being around 60 ish kg. That was my approximate weight before I had gained weight over several years.
  • marija09
    marija09 Posts: 24 Member
    Kyrenora wrote: »
    Have you talked to your doctor about your weight? There definitely is such a thing as "too skinny." If you're hearing it from a lot of people, you may want to get a professional opinion.

    I was at a check-up with my endo (cos I have pcos), and there was an intern doctor there and she's like that I need to gain weight because the medication i'm taking is not for people with that bmi (lol). and then my endo's like 'why are u trying to make her gain weight?' lol
  • Reneebycakes
    Reneebycakes Posts: 24 Member
    60kg is technically underweight for 180cm. What does your doc say?
  • marija09
    marija09 Posts: 24 Member
    Reneebycakes wrote: »
    60kg is technically underweight for 180cm. What does your doc say?

    it's on the limit. my endo thinks it's fine, i have a narrow body shape, esp. wrists and that. the weight doesn't seem low on my body figure visually.
  • KeriA
    KeriA Posts: 3,345 Member
    I got down to 95 lbs when I was 18. I am 5'6" and people told me I was getting too skinny. I had been staying with friends on weight watchers just before and was trying to avoid carbs in the dorm. They were right, I was too skinny and I listened to them and I am glad I did. I have a small frame, small head, hands feet. I am not saying that they are always right but I would look into it.
  • BoxerBrawler
    BoxerBrawler Posts: 2,032 Member
    People have been telling me I'm too skinny, I don't eat enough, etc. etc... for a couple of years. My answer is that it's my body and my journey, not theirs.
  • katem78
    katem78 Posts: 101 Member
    i think 1.80 and 60kgs is ok. Technically, said above, yes it is underweight but i don't think there is a problem.
    I am 1.80 and now 60kgs and i want to be 58-59,i used to be at that weight but due to some thyroid instabilities i gained a couple of kgs that now struggle to lose. So, if your doctor says it's ok, mine does say it is.. don't worry.
    If you eat healthy you should be fine!
    Good luck
  • marija09
    marija09 Posts: 24 Member
    cushman5279 wrote: »
    People have been telling me I'm too skinny, I don't eat enough, etc. etc... for a couple of years. My answer is that it's my body and my journey, not theirs.

    thank you! you're absolutely right. u look great in your photo btw :)
  • marija09
    marija09 Posts: 24 Member
    katem78 wrote: »
    i think 1.80 and 60kgs is ok. Technically, said above, yes it is underweight but i don't think there is a problem.
    I am 1.80 and now 60kgs and i want to be 58-59,i used to be at that weight but due to some thyroid instabilities i gained a couple of kgs that now struggle to lose. So, if your doctor says it's ok, mine does say it is.. don't worry.
    If you eat healthy you should be fine!
    Good luck

    i have insulin resistance and that makes weight maintanance a bit hard as I often have sugar lows. how are you coping? any tips, energy boosting recipes?
  • katem78
    katem78 Posts: 101 Member
    Hello! Well, i have had my thyroid removed when i was 15yo. As a teenager i never had problem with weight loss or anything but as i grow older it is getting more difficult. Just to give you an example, in May i had my thryroid results and they were out of limits. I changed my thyroxine intake and it needs approximately 4-6weeks for the body to adjust. It took me 5 months!!!
    It is strange though, because i gained only 12 kgs during my twin pregancy and i lost 15 only 10 days after i gave birth!
    anyway, i think it's a non stop struggle with thyroid probs even though i check it twice a year.
    I don't have any energy boosting energies but lately i have started running and it's really energy boosting.. plus iron supplements every now and then help me a lot.
    Good luck!
    x
  • buttersbunch
    buttersbunch Posts: 180 Member
    edited January 2016
    I have lost 275 pounds, going from 410 pounds to 135 pounds (I am 5'5") and also completely changed lifestyles...
    (from a strict religious group to leaving)

    I think the dramatic weight loss coupled with my transition has totally taken many people by such surprise, I often get this reaction too- despite being exactly in the middle of my 'healthy weight range' (120
    pounds to 150 pounds)

    My clavicle (by genetics) is pronounced, and often freaks people out saying 'she MUST be anorexic', blah-blah-blah.

    The choice? People will either need
    to 'catch up' to where I am and where I am heading, or stay behind... because I am NOT going back!
  • marija09
    marija09 Posts: 24 Member
    buttersbunch wrote: »
    I have lost 275 pounds, going from 410 pounds to 135 pounds (I am 5'5") and also completely changed lifestyles...
    (from a strict religious group to leaving)

    I think the dramatic weight loss coupled with my transition has totally taken many people by such surprise, I often get this reaction too- despite being exactly in the middle of my 'healthy weight range' (120
    pounds to 150 pounds)

    My clavicle (by genetics) is pronounced, and often freaks people out saying 'she MUST be anorexic', blah-blah-blah.

    The choice? People will either need
    to 'catch up' to where I am and where I am heading, or stay behind... because I am NOT going back!

    wow! kudos to you!

    i have a really pronounced collarbone and cheeckbones as well, so yeah, people jump to the wrong conclusion! ur hair looks great - why did you cover it up before?
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    When I was in my early twenties...people always said I was too skinny...I scoffed at them, thought they were jealous or just unhappy with their own lives. I was 5'2, 99 lbs at that time. I thought I loved the way I looked. An injury, 80 lbs added, and 25 years later changed my whole body type....I've since dropped most of those 80 just to gain 30 back again, but today, I'm right where I want to be at 124ish. I've recently seen pictures of a wedding I attended when I was 23 and super-teenie....and OMG, THEY WERE RIGHT!!! I looked SO skinny, so unhealthy and underfed!! My cheekbones are all sunk in, my eyes were lifeless, and my hair looked stringy. I thought I looked gorgeous at the time, but looking back, I wish someone had put more effort into making me see the truth. This is just me, telling you how it happened for me...at 46, things are much clearer than they were at 26. Use your head, open your eyes....maybe you aren't too skinny, and the people telling you this have ulterior motives. Or maybe you are, and just can't see it yet? Good luck regardless, this is a difficult journey for every one of us, but we can do it! xoxo
  • gramarye
    gramarye Posts: 586 Member
    eringurl33 wrote: »
    I went to live in Hawaii for 6 months many years ago. Due to healthier lifestyle I dropped like 25 pounds. I hadn't realised I'd lost that much until I came back to TN and my sisters first words were .. Omg you're soooo skinny. I was still 280 pounds! Anyway. Like a previous poster said.. Without stats we can't really say either way.

    I think it's interesting how much smaller you seem to people when you drop from a heavy weight. I saw some extended family for the first time in a year recently, and they were surprised to hear I wanted to lose about 30 - 40 pounds -- "Do you have another 40 pounds to lose?" At 195 at the time, absolutely. But given the way I carry my weight and the fact that I used to be 300 pounds, I look "smaller" to people I know than if I used to be 150 and then gained 40 pounds. The way we perceive people around us is weird.

    OP, it may be that they're just surprised because you look so different, or maybe they're right and you're underweight. Obviously you should be checking in regularly with your doctor and keep an eye on your health markers, but it's ultimately your call as to what you set as a goal weight.
  • rankinsect
    rankinsect Posts: 2,238 Member
    JustMissTracy wrote: »
    I've recently seen pictures of a wedding I attended when I was 23 and super-teenie....and OMG, THEY WERE RIGHT!!! I looked SO skinny, so unhealthy and underfed!! My cheekbones are all sunk in, my eyes were lifeless, and my hair looked stringy. I thought I looked gorgeous at the time, but looking back, I wish someone had put more effort into making me see the truth. This is just me, telling you how it happened for me...at 46, things are much clearer than they were at 26. Use your head, open your eyes....maybe you aren't too skinny, and the people telling you this have ulterior motives. Or maybe you are, and just can't see it yet? Good luck regardless, this is a difficult journey for every one of us, but we can do it! xoxo

    Yes, I think we are the worst judges of our own appearance. It goes both ways - I've passed the point where every acquaintance has told me how much I've lost (75 lb and 10 inches of waist so far), yet most times I don't see it in the mirror. When it was happening I also didn't really see the gain either, and was shocked at how big I looked in photos.
  • DKLI
    DKLI Posts: 63 Member
    I just had a conversation with someone about this yesterday (more like a rant on my part). I've maintained the same weight for a year, give or take a couple of pounds, and some people make comments about how thin I am and not in a nice way. I'm currently 143 and on a 5'5" frame, it's not too thin. Society does view normal weight people, especially those of us who were overweight and got down to a smaller weight, as abnormal. This is in comparison to the majority of society which is overweight. If I had always been this weight no one would say a word.
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