Would like to lose alot of weight but lack support/motivation
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Amanda19891
Posts: 6 Member
Just as the headline says I would like to lose a lot of weight roughly 80lbs-100lbs. I have always struggled with my weight I am at my heaviest weight now of 288lbs. I am not really sure how to go about getting the weight off and keeping it off. I've done many different fad diets and lose a little and then gain it back and then some... My biggest motivation is my daughter I want to be healthier for her and myself of course...I lack family support I think they are just so used to the teeter toddering effect that they have just accepted that I will always be big. My boyfriend well he's a whole different issue....there are a lot of things in our relationship that I wish I could change but they don't seem like they will ever change and I've just accepted it...when I mention losing weight he just says ok, I'll love you regardless of your big or small....but I don't know? Can anyone relate to any of this?!
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I should also say one of my biggest fears is to lose a significant amount of weight just to be left with a bunch of extra skin left behind..0
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Hi... I can totally relate to this...I too keep loosing weight and putting some on ...at my heaviest to at 224 lbs....really need to get back on track as I am now getting health issues due to my weight but cannot find the motivation and control even just to log all my food for the whole day!!!!! Let's not event speak about my gym membership. My family is not really taking me serious as I have mentioned so many different diets before and was successful for a short period of time ... I think they just see me as the "big girl" of the family!...God, would I like to prove them wrong once and for all.....maybe add me as a friend and we can try and stay accountable together?!0
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Don't worry about the skin. Some people don't get loose skin at all. You'll look and feel better and healthier, even if you do have loose skin.
Motivation comes from within. Don't rely on others! Do this for you! Just hunker down and follow MFP and you will lose the weight.
Don't go overboard with trying to eat too few calories or all "healthy" food, as this can derail your attempts when you begin to feel deprived. Just log your food and try to come in slightly under your calorie goal.
One day at a time. One meal at a time. You can do this.0 -
make one small change a week and you will notice a difference. It doesn't have to be all or nothing0
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Very new to this app so not real sure how to navigate it real well at this point not sure how to add people.. Thank you all for the kind words!! I also feel like no matter if I actually feel better with losing the weight if I do have a bunch of loose skin I will still feel horrible just in a different way?0
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I worry about the skin too but decided it was worth it to be smaller - and it is worth it. Age and genetics are a huge factor. Both completely out of our control. I am going to seriously consider surgery if it's something I don't want to live with. My insurance will pay for some of it. As I am losing the skin on my legs and stomach loosens and then tightens back up some. It may not be the nightmare I am imagining. My arms are pretty bad.
My husband didn't really act excited until he saw me stick with it for a few months. Also, while he loves and cares about me, he really doesn't care to discuss my diet. Not a character flaw or anything, just a guy thing. I do my diet and fitness talking with my girlfriends and MFP friends. Just when I think he's oblivious, he will tell me how good I'm looking.
While it might be nice if my husband was cheerleading me the whole way, it isn't realistic. I am the only one that can do it. I have to be the one to get off the couch and walk. No one can move my legs for me. I am in charge of what food and how much of it I eat.
Logging calories is very easy with MFP. It took me 2 or 3 days to learn how the app works. You can do it! The beginning is a little rocky. After a few months it is just life.
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Perhaps things will change in your relationship as you gain some self confidence. It's true that you can't depend on others for motivation, support, cheering, etc. People let us down all the time. Don't look to them for your own validation.
Just start. Make those small changes. Explore the app. Choose a realistic calorie goal and eat all the foods that you enjoy while staying under it. Try a new recipe. There will be lots of small "wins" as long as you don't hurry or put unnecessary restrictions on yourself.
This is a long haul, big picture thing and it will take time. So start. It's going to be a wonderful thing you'll be doing for yourself.0 -
Don't worry about the skin. Some people don't get loose skin at all. You'll look and feel better and healthier, even if you do have loose skin.
Motivation comes from within. Don't rely on others! Do this for you! Just hunker down and follow MFP and you will lose the weight.
Don't go overboard with trying to eat too few calories or all "healthy" food, as this can derail your attempts when you begin to feel deprived. Just log your food and try to come in slightly under your calorie goal.
One day at a time. One meal at a time. You can do this.
wow such great advice it sounds so caring. You make me want to stay motivated!!! Can we be friends0 -
Motivation was a hard one for me, i weigh 270 my goal is to lose 100 pounds,I wanted to start eating right and working out sooner but then my brain would say shh eat and be happy(happiness was only temporary) I started counting my calories, at first just what I was eating everyday(which was a lot) then started adjusting what and how much I was eating it's really eye opening to see how much you over eat in a day,check out the calorie calculators online if you haven't already, to get an idea of what your intake is should be and what calorie deficit if any you would like to do.i had so many questions and still do I'm learning by doing a lot of research, I think that was and is one of the hardest parts about diet and excercise is knowing nothing, I will google anything and everything lol.I do home workouts(total gym, gazelle,free weights,walking, tae bo dvd and just plain exercising0
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susan100df wrote: »I worry about the skin too but decided it was worth it to be smaller - and it is worth it. Age and genetics are a huge factor. Both completely out of our control. I am going to seriously consider surgery if it's something I don't want to live with. My insurance will pay for some of it. As I am losing the skin on my legs and stomach loosens and then tightens back up some. It may not be the nightmare I am imagining. My arms are pretty bad.
My husband didn't really act excited until he saw me stick with it for a few months. Also, while he loves and cares about me, he really doesn't care to discuss my diet. Not a character flaw or anything, just a guy thing. I do my diet and fitness talking with my girlfriends and MFP friends. Just when I think he's oblivious, he will tell me how good I'm looking.
While it might be nice if my husband was cheerleading me the whole way, it isn't realistic. I am the only one that can do it. I have to be the one to get off the couch and walk. No one can move my legs for me. I am in charge of what food and how much of it I eat.
Logging calories is very easy with MFP. It took me 2 or 3 days to learn how the app works. You can do it! The beginning is a little rocky. After a few months it is just life.
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Hi Susan,
I just read your post and liked what you have to say. Especially the part about it becoming just life after a few months! I am in week two and think about little else but how to avoid eating two much! I love MFP, it is the easiest app I have found for logging calories. Love the bar code that just does it for you.
Thanks for the encouragement.0 -
Motivation comes from within. Don't rely on others! Do this for you! Just hunker down and follow MFP and you will lose the weight.
I agree with this completely. It's easy to get hung up and reliant on motivation and support and always being excited to do this, but unfortunately that wanes over time. In the end you're the one doing this and you're the one in control, and you have all the resources you need. Losing weight gets boring and tedious and those are the times you need to just buckle down and do it! Easier said than done, of course, but you've got the tools, just put them to work!
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Don't worry about the skin. Some people don't get loose skin at all. You'll look and feel better and healthier, even if you do have loose skin.
Motivation comes from within. Don't rely on others! Do this for you! Just hunker down and follow MFP and you will lose the weight.
Don't go overboard with trying to eat too few calories or all "healthy" food, as this can derail your attempts when you begin to feel deprived. Just log your food and try to come in slightly under your calorie goal.
One day at a time. One meal at a time. You can do this.
Best advice ever!0 -
I'm noticing something interesting: you say you "would like" to lose weight but at the same time you're not sure you have the "motivation" to lose weight. But really, those are the same thing, aren't they? The problem is, sometimes we want two different things at once, such as "I want to be 80 lbs. thinner a year from now" and "I want to eat this chocolate cake right now." It's not so much a matter of lacking motivation as having trouble making the choice between a good thing later and a good thing now. There's a good book out there with the subtitle: "Stop trading what you want most for what you want now."0
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By coincidence here's an article I just ran across on the same topic: http://qz.com/584874/you-probably-know-to-ask-yourself-what-do-i-want-heres-a-way-better-question/0
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If 1lb a week is too much aim for .5. Seriously any progress is better than standing still. It's really not particularly hard once you get in the rhythm. I told myself I was gonna do it forever and put it off. Don't be me. Make good choices 95% of the time and let yourself be human from time to time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTC7aeK_qgY 0 -
I understand how you feel. When I think about the amount of weight I want to lose, it seems impossible and is overwhelming- I mean I want to lose a VS model amount of weight and by most people's standards will still be fat but that's my reality, 175 is my target. We can do this though, we just need to encourage each other and be patient!0
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Thanks guys! Honestly I think I needed to hear the reality of the situation from someone other than myself as I can convince myself that I am either being to hard or easy on myself. Keep the reality checks coming0
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I felt overwhelmed by the amount I had to lose but breaking the weight loss into smaller manageable goals helped. I started by losing just 5kg at a time, when I reached that, I felt motivated to go another 5kg.
As others have mentioned, don't worry about the loose skin, I lost weight and saw some wrinkly skin in various places, but in the last 1 yr, most of it has tightened up. I feel much healthier and have more energy, more confident etc.......I can live with the loose skin
Be patient, keep logging and eating at a deficit, go moderate and long term rather than trying to rush it and too low calorie and unsustainable. I eat pretty much everything I used to, just smaller portions and keep within my calorie budget. If I go overboard, I just get back on track....we are not perfect anyway!
You can do this!0
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