Emotional Support for Divorce & Single Parenting

kristigouge
kristigouge Posts: 7 Member
edited October 2015 in Motivation and Support
I'n the beginning stages of a divorce. I have been in a relationship filled with emotional abuse , manipulation, and lots of control for nearly a decade. It has been an emotional rollercoaster for me and my 4 year old daughter but I know we will eventually be much happier. I am just seeking some emotional support as we go through this new journey and any words of wisdom from people that have been through this and especially that have been through controlling relationships and becoming a single parent.

Replies

  • Dyana1109
    Dyana1109 Posts: 19 Member
    Hi there. I am recently divorced after 7 years. It was since we split up till just December last year where I ended all the manipulation and control and decided I wasn't going to let him drain me anymore and worry about myself and my child. It's not easy doing everything on your own and still have to deal with the ex. Add me if you like.
  • Smreid2013
    Smreid2013 Posts: 2 Member
    This is unfortunately all too known by me as well. I was in a very controlling and aggressive relationship which I've been going through messy divorce over for over a year now. I lost the baby weight I had but then gained some weight during this divorce (we still lived together for 5 months until the lawyers made him move out bc I had no family in that state for help) needless to say I became stressed, emotional and gained some weight. Now I've still been stressed and emotional but not nearly as much as before now that we are physically separated but I can't seem to get the weight off for more than a week. It just comes right back bc I haven't been able to make the needed lifestyle change that weightless needs. Hoping I can make something happen that sticks here. We can understand each other a bit it seems. One day at a time and focus on any positive and not dwel on the negative is what seems to help me the most. I don't always succeed in that but usually can and am happier the days I can.
  • PrimalJillian
    PrimalJillian Posts: 1,129 Member
    I've also been through a similar experience, with 3 kids in tow. It's been about 2 years since the divorce was final, and I'm still dealing with my ex's manipulative bs....mostly because I tried so hard to keep the peace out of fear of his retaliation, when I should have been putting my foot down. Easier said than done though when you've been emotionally/psychologically abused. Lately, I've found domestic abuse counseling through the county to be very helpful because they see this stuff all the time. Feel free to add me or message me.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    I'm not very good at emotional support but I can give you a word of encouragement. I suspect you will have an entirely new and refreshing existence in a year or so as you move on with your life. Powerful. Capable.

    I raised my two children alone after leaving an abusive ex. I became a strong and capable woman, and my children similarly are strong, independent, and confident. They credit my parenting to help shape them in to who they are today.

    A controller like you describe is not going to make divorce easy. Be tough. Separate the financial accounts if you haven't already and take the best advice from your financial (banker) and legal counsel.

    I suggest you diarize your personal journey so you can look back in a year and see how far you've come.

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