Need help, motivation, and accountability

Ambersanderson
Ambersanderson Posts: 3 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hi! I am Amber. I am 32 and I am ready to finally live in the body I picture myself in.

I have always been "bigger" but after losing my mom, suffering financially, and a divorce my weight ballooned. I just weighed in at my heaviest - 304lbs! I feel like a thin girl trapped in a fat body. I buy clothes that are too small all the time because I just don't realize how big i have become. Now, 3 months from marrying the man of my dreams, I am heavier and more depressed than ever.

I am not doing this to look hot. I am not doing this for my health (doctor says i am surprisingly the picture of near perfect health according to my blood pressure, bloodwork, and a ton of other tests). I am not doing this for my fiancee or the wedding (he thinks i am beautiful as is). I am doing this because i dont want to hate myself anymore.

I want the old me back. The girl who loved to go out and who laughed and enjoyed life... I have become the girl who has social anxiety and stays in the shadows at parties so no attention is drawn to me. I just want to look in the mirror and see someone I am proud of.

I have tried and failed so many times. I desperately need people to teach me how to do this, motivate me to keep going, and keep me accountable for staying on track. Please add me and lets help each other out!

Replies

  • bigbodybake
    bigbodybake Posts: 49 Member
    I'm not entirely crazy about looking in the mirror either, we can do this and push each other along the way
  • DoksMD
    DoksMD Posts: 1 Member
    I would live to be in on it too! Right now I want a huge burger and I'm trying to stop myself from getting one ! :s
  • Ambersanderson
    Ambersanderson Posts: 3 Member
    DoksMD wrote: »
    I would live to be in on it too! Right now I want a huge burger and I'm trying to stop myself from getting one ! :s

    I think it's important to remember you CAN have that huge burger... just choose a wheat bun instead of regular, skip (or go really light) on condiments, add avacodo in place of cheese (not nearly the same but a good compromise for my tastebuds)... And - most important - cut it it half, put the other half in a to go box immediately (out of sight, out of mind), and decide when you finish if you are satisfied or still hungry.

    My biggest struggle is hording food. I grew up very poor and food was scarce so now i feel obligated to eat as much as i can... I am slowly learning to listen to my body to know when i should stop. "The sigh," if you learn to catch it, helps immensely! That's right - you sigh when you stomach is full.... Even if you don't quite have that "full sensation." After a few moments you will realise you arent hungry anymore.

    Also, before i load up my plate or go back for seconds i say to myself, "food is meant to sustain me," which reminds me to decide if I NEED that extra scoop of mac n cheese or if I simply "want" it.

    Hope that gives a little motivation!
  • Ambersanderson
    Ambersanderson Posts: 3 Member
    Oh! Something else i have learned (i have spent a lot of time studying nutrition so it's amazing i stuggle so much) is that your body doesnt know the difference between thirst and hunger... So when you feel hungry you could just need more water! Drink a large glass of water and if you still feel hungry 20 min later then eat.
  • Floridaman789
    Floridaman789 Posts: 109 Member
    Or have it with out the bun. That's what I do.
  • nikkole831
    nikkole831 Posts: 8 Member
    Well it seems like you're in the right for the support and motivation needed. I too am here because of my image of self. My husband adores me and loves the way I look. However, I'm struggling with how I feel about myself that has brought me to the conclusion that I need to take some kind of action. I have never felt like I was in shape, I've always had an "average" body type, however, in the last couple years I've packed on the pounds. Today I weigh more than I did 9 months pregnant. A few months ago, I had someone ask me when my baby was due. I'm not pregnant!
    I feel like I need support and motivation. Suggestions of healthier choices and an accountability partner. If you or anyone else would like to add me I would be so grateful and we can do this together!

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