ugh! you're supposed to be my friend!

hello_kitty3
hello_kitty3 Posts: 98 Member
edited September 28 in Chit-Chat
Does anyone else have "friends" in their life that are complete jerks about you being on a diet? I have a friend that anytime I post anything about food or when I complete my food diary for the day and it posts on facebook he has something nasty to say. Like he'll see my diary post and say wow you had a lot of fat and sodium today you should try a no fat diet... and in reality I'm under what MFP says I can have for the day. If I say I'm trying to decide what to have for breakfast cause I'm sick of oatmeal he'll say have water cause you don't have to eat everytime you're hungry. It makes me want to slap him and I'm not very nice back to him but he keeps it up. I've only been on here for 2 week and I've lost 2lbs so I think I'm doing pretty good. I was just wondering if anyone else runs into this kind of behavior from people they once considered friends.
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Replies

  • Amanda421
    Amanda421 Posts: 261 Member
    you are doing good. pay ppl like that no mind!
  • AngieM76
    AngieM76 Posts: 622 Member
    That person would be blocked from seeing my posts on FB. You dont need that negativity.
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    I would drop him as a friend. Either he's a jerk, or he has no idea what he's advising on.
  • TinaRodina
    TinaRodina Posts: 110 Member
    I agree, block him! You don't need his negativity! Keep up the great work!
  • calimari
    calimari Posts: 202 Member
    I don't have that experience, but I also kind don't tell everyone everything. I don't have this on my FB. I don't tell everyone how I'm doing or where I'm struggling. I guess it's not everyone else's business. I share some of this with my sisters and best friends and that's it - people who I know support me. If you put too much information out for everyone, you will always find someone who will pick at it. You can ignore this guy, tell him to ignore those posts unless he has something positive to say, or don't put your diet info out for everyone to see and comment on.

    I do wonder why people so often choose to slam others instead of supporting them though.
  • Juliebean_1027
    Juliebean_1027 Posts: 713 Member
    That person would be blocked from seeing my posts on FB. You dont need that negativity.

    What she said! Surround yourself with positive people, not Negative Nancy (or in this case Negative Ned). You're doing a wonderful job. Keep it up!
  • dorisholaway
    dorisholaway Posts: 531 Member
    I would say just tell him to butt out of your life. Tell him what we all have learned in our life: "If you can't say something nice, just don't say anything at all" Just let him know you are doing this for YOU not HIM. Good luck on straightening him out, or just removing him from you facebook and life.
  • sweetiepie31612
    sweetiepie31612 Posts: 240 Member
    Unless you have supportive friends on FB that are keeping track of your progress, there is no need to post updates to that site. None of my friends know I'm on a "diet"...it's none of their business. They notice that I've lost weight and I order more salads when we go out, but thats it. Friends get jealous. Being on a "diet" makes them feel guilty about not being on one or not eating healthy. My support system is here.
  • plagirl227
    plagirl227 Posts: 134
    That person would be blocked from seeing my posts on FB. You dont need that negativity.

    I'd go even further and say remove him as a friend all together. A "friend" wouldn't do that...
  • daniface
    daniface Posts: 338 Member
    my suggestion, don't link this stuff up to your facebook.
  • sarapulsifer
    sarapulsifer Posts: 70
    Yes! Most of those coments come from family though but I dont post my dairy on FB. Maybe you shouldnt post urs either, thats not thye kind of support you want. MFP is the kind of support you want, and if your "friends" arent going to be supportive then dont let them be a part of you weight loss. Congrats on the 2 lbs lost!!!
  • Marjorielk
    Marjorielk Posts: 202 Member
    I did not link MFP to FB, because everyone I know is on FB. I want to be well on my way before I start having to hear the comments !
  • krlaws2
    krlaws2 Posts: 47
    Friends are supposed to be supportive. He's not being supportive - so he is by definition not a friend. Delete him.

    I agree too though that I don't share this on FB b/c I'm leery of responses I might receive from that group of friends, people are so sensitive about weight and dieting.
  • Emismom77
    Emismom77 Posts: 56
    I wouldn't block him just yet. Have you told this friend how you feel? Maybe he's one of those people that you have to break everything down slowly too... Once you tell your friend how his remarks are making you feel, and then he still continues... then I would block him. Sometimes people think they are helping, but the way they say things stings... especially when you're trying to lose weight. I hope things get better and keep doing well!!
  • crazymama2two
    crazymama2two Posts: 867
    delete his pathetic *kitten*. youre doing fantastic!
  • twnzmom
    twnzmom Posts: 182 Member
    Don't worry about him you're doing whats right for you and its working. Some people are just jealous of people who take control of their life and make healthy choices. Keep up the good work.
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    I would have a TALK with him. He sounds like he's just trying to help. Especially if he used to be fat, or if he was a bodybuilder at some time, he might think he knows what he's talking about if it worked for him.

    It's easy for all these people to say drop him, because it's no loss out of their lives. You need to be mature about it and just respectfully ask him to stop.

    P.S. If he doesn't have anything better to do than read posts from you all the time, he might have a thing for you... and is just trying to think of something to say.
  • iAMaPhoenix
    iAMaPhoenix Posts: 1,038 Member
    Tell me again now...Why are you calling this person a "friend"? You need to save that title for people who actually support you and will be there for you no matter what. Time to use your add a friend button on MFP.

    E.
  • notapromqueen
    notapromqueen Posts: 63 Member
    I have a coworker/"friend" who does the same, sort of. She had a battle with anorexia and when I am feeling down on myself (like last week, when I lost 0.8 lbs and thought it should have been more) she says "well, stop complaining! I told you how to lose 40 lbs fast... You've gotta do it like I did!". This is also the same coworker who tells me Reese's Peanut Buttercups is an "acceptable lunch" because chocolate is dairy. (No, I'm not joking....)
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    I have a coworker/"friend" who does the same, sort of. She had a battle with anorexia and when I am feeling down on myself (like last week, when I lost 0.8 lbs and thought it should have been more) she says "well, stop complaining! I told you how to lose 40 lbs fast... You've gotta do it like I did!". This is also the same coworker who tells me Reese's Peanut Buttercups is an "acceptable lunch" because chocolate is dairy. (No, I'm not joking....)

    Next time she says anything about your weight loss, tell her "Oh, I decided to go the healthy way. That way my organs are still working by the time I am 45. But feel free to lose weight your way, I just want to get to know my grandkids."
  • sweet_t2483
    sweet_t2483 Posts: 37 Member
    Yeah I don't post MFP stuff on FB - my MFP friends are here for the same reason I am. They're the support I need on this journey. My close friends and family know why I'm dieting and support me 100%. My other FB friends haven't a clue that I'm dieting and really it's not their business, although I'm pretty sure all of them would be supportive.

    This guy sounds like an *kitten* who in reality is unhappy with his true self. Unfriend OR quit posting to FB.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    my suggestion, don't link this stuff up to your facebook.

    Yes, this. :smile: I have my weight loss and blog posts go to Facebook, but not my food or exercise logs. Your "friend" shouldn't be so negative, but I can imagine it gets repetitive seeing the same things coming up on their newsfeed day after day, like Mafia Wars and Farmville status updates. :wink:
  • hello_kitty3
    hello_kitty3 Posts: 98 Member
    Thanks everyone for your positiveness! When I told him that I wanted to lose weight the healthy way he tried to tell me that eating only works for thin people, fat people need to starve. He also said that he is a certified nutritionist... which is a scary thought. He's more overweight than I am so the way I feel about it is "people who live in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones". I post on FB to keep me accountable, I don't care if people know that I'm on a diet, I can even deal with negative comments to a point. I just don't understand why he feels the need to constantly slam me. He does comment on EVERYTHING I post, not just my diet stuff but he's only rude when it comes to food.
  • slim_photographer
    slim_photographer Posts: 310 Member
    Unlike what many here are suggesting I wouldn't change sharing my diary and I wouldn't remove him. Then again I'm not you. If you can make it work so that those nasty and negative comments become 'positive energy'. Some amount of why it hurts when people say something to us is that they have a hint of the truth if not a complete truth. An example would be when I bought a bike and someone said to me: "let's see now how much dust it collects". So I transformed that into positive energy. I did not use the bike just to proof that person wrong but if I didn't stick to my own plan anyone, even myself could have seen in fact that dust had accumulated on the bike.
    Back to your own situation. It seems like some of the mocking from that guy is completely unreasonable so just tell yourself: "You think I'm doing wrong, what would happened if I followed his advice? Is what I'm doing working for me? and if the answers are 'nothing good' and 'yes'. Then you will be prepared to deflect any negative comments from this guy and anyone else, cause they are coming, and you will not always be able to 'unfriend' or block the negativity. You have to be prepared.
  • carradoc
    carradoc Posts: 5 Member
    I had a friend who I hadn't seen for a while. He said to me "God you are fat"! I replied "God youe are bald"! He told me not to be so rude. I laughed and said at least I can diet!

    I would ignore him. He isn't doing you any favours and it sounds to me as if he is talking through his insecurities and failings. I wouldn't confide in him and ask him any questions about your goals and targets. Choose to find better friends who understand what you are trying to do. You are doing well, so keep it up.

    If he is rude then feel free to be rude back. Lets face it a fat nutrionalist is a joke in itself!

    Good luck.
  • hello_kitty3
    hello_kitty3 Posts: 98 Member
    I had a friend who I hadn't seen for a while. He said to me "God you are fat"! I replied "God youe are bald"! He told me not to be so rude. I laughed and said at least I can diet!

    I would ignore him. He isn't doing you any favours and it sounds to me as if he is talking through his insecurities and failings. I wouldn't confide in him and ask him any questions about your goals and targets. Choose to find better friends who understand what you are trying to do. You are doing well, so keep it up.

    If he is rude then feel free to be rude back. Lets face it a fat nutrionalist is a joke in itself!

    Good luck.


    so true! lol I don't listen to his "advice" I just wish he'd stop filling up my page with it! Him and my husband are actually going back and forth on my page right now and its very obnoxious. I never thought of myself as "fat" ... I understand that I've gained weight and I need to lose it but still... I just think its funny that he feels like starving is the only way you can lose weight. I'd like to know where he got certified cause they're obviously not teaching people right.
  • lovejoydavid
    lovejoydavid Posts: 395 Member
    Thanks everyone for your positiveness! When I told him that I wanted to lose weight the healthy way he tried to tell me that eating only works for thin people, fat people need to starve. He also said that he is a certified nutritionist... which is a scary thought. He's more overweight than I am so the way I feel about it is "people who live in glass houses, shouldn't throw stones". I post on FB to keep me accountable, I don't care if people know that I'm on a diet, I can even deal with negative comments to a point. I just don't understand why he feels the need to constantly slam me. He does comment on EVERYTHING I post, not just my diet stuff but he's only rude when it comes to food.

    I don't know where you are, but throughout most of the US and Canada, there is no protection or regulation over the term "nutritionist." Anyone can call themselves that, and most claiming it have some silly cert or background. Around here, only dieticians are subject to liscensure and regulation, and have extensive collegiate education.
  • kayleeblue
    kayleeblue Posts: 273
    I was wondering how big he was and then I read your second comment. He has no right saying those things at all. But some people think that by saying those things they are helping you stay motivated. Tell him he's to negative. My words wouldn't be so nice I would say something very blunt and vulgar. But that's just me. I was thinking about posting my mfp on fb for the support, but I'm waiting for the "someone Noticed" NSV. When that happens then maybe. But I also know the people on my fb and I know where they live..they also know they better be nice...lol Good Luck. Turn his comments into fuel for your workouts. Good Luck.
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
    That person would be blocked from seeing my posts on FB. You dont need that negativity.

    Agree!
  • thecanface
    thecanface Posts: 1,180 Member
    BLOCK!!!!!
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