How to help my husband
Fat2FitAmanda
Posts: 118
My husband just recently expressed an interest in losing some weight himself (FINALLY!). I want to try to help him with it but it's really hard to feed the man and have him be happy. He wants to lose the weight but isn't really interested in sacrificing taste. He really doesn't eat a lot, just the things he does eat, are bad quality food. He rarely ever eats breakfast and I make him sandwiches for lunch because he's on the road all day. I am not really sure what kind of foods to make him. It's mostly lunch meat and cheese sandwiches on wheat with mayo and a lot of days he'll pick something else up which is always something greasy and bad for you. How many calories should a man who's 6'1" and 245 be eating daily? What kind of foods are healthy and hardy for a man? I am pretty good about making healthy dinners but to fill him, he has to have well over the recommended serving. Any help/suggestions will be appreciated here. I know if he's on board with this, that it will benefit our whole family!
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Replies
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There is a very good book out, written by one of the editors of Men's Health Magazine called "The Abs Diet". It's mostly geared toward men and written by a guy, so it may be of more interest to him. The book talks all about what kinds of foods are healthy and why - and why you should really avoid the bad foods - mostly from a guy's perspective. It also contains some simple recipes and workout routines. He may find it helpful and it's a pretty good read (you can read it, too! I did!)
In so far as looking for healthy lunch recipes, check out the Tosca Reno Clean Eating cookbooks - they have some good ideas. There's also some really good websites with excellent, healthy fare - a few of my faves are eatingwell.com, skinnytaste.com and cleaneatingmag.com.
Good luck!0 -
Im on the road all day and sleep in my truck during the week. I have made losing weight and MFP my hobby. You can both add me as a friend if you think i might be able to help motivate him.
Jeff0 -
He should probably be eating around the 2100-2200 mark i would believe. He doesn't necessarily have to give up taste, he just has to use moderation and portion control.0
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Would he eat a big salad, full of protein? I make salads with grilled chicken, black beans, part skim mozerella cheese, crunchy fiesta strips, olives and either salsa or just a little bit of dressing. SO yummy, and it doesn't need to be warmed up. My husband is 6ft 1 and 195 and he's also finally getting interested in getting fit. Maybe my example is rubbing off on him
He's been starting to turn down all the junk food at work, finally! 0 -
Create an MFP account for him. Even if he doesn't use it, it will give you a good calorie range to shoot for.0
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You know I wasn't far off from his size when I started. I never used to eat breakfast. I make it a point to now. The trick to the eating and feeling full business is to look at what you are eating in each meal. Make the portions of the bad stuff (like potatoes) smaller and the good stuff (veggies) bigger. Then slowly get him to try new things so you can substitute in healthier choices.
I may take a long time for him to adjust. I grew up on meat and potatoes and I still have it from time to time, with Gravy of course. The biggest thing was to eat less overall. So I took the meal sizes down by taking out size in morning and night and adding those calories to the breakfast.
Get him on here and have him friend me. I would be happy to give him advice. Oh, it probably helps that I used to be a chef and my wife is quite a good baker so we can come up with some VERY tasty meals without beating my diet to death.0 -
Start him out slow and if he likes his food let him eat what he wants, just have him watch the portion sizes. I am 6' and was 249 when I first started and simply reducing my portion size helped me to lose about 12 pounds before I found MFP. Once he see's results himself hopefully he'll get motivated to start being a little more self conscious about what he eats. Get him to sign up here and if he's tech savvy have him set up the MFP app on his phone so he can watch his calories on the go. The app has helped me immensely. I have myself set to 2lbs per week loss which is a 1000 calorie deficit from my maintenance calories of 2500. I manage to eat 1500 calories a day, usually a few hundred over if I don't work out but I still eat what I want. Also having breakfast may help kick start his metabolism in the morning. It may take a few weeks to see results but if he sticks to it he WILL lose weight. Exercise would be great as well but he has to want to do that. Hopefully as he see's his progress going he'll get excited enough to want to improve his health on his own.0
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Really all depends on his activity level, how many calories he should eat. If he is gonna start with an exercise/cardio plan, he will need to eat more calories. If he just wants to lose weight through diet he should eat around 2500 calories.0
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He will eat a salad, but his idea of a salad is a chef's salad with all that meat and cheese in it, then loading it with 2 packets of thousand island dressing! But that salad you suggested sounds amazing! I'll have to give that a try.
I think I will set him up on here, but I doubt he'll get on it himself. I wish he would though so he can finally see what I've been doing all along. He gets mad at me sometimes with all the calorie talk though so I doubt he'd turn into a calorie counter himself. Doesn't mean I can't do it for him though, as long as he tells me what he eats besides what I feed him.
For you men who have replied, what kind of foods do you eat? He's a meat and potatoes kind of guy too. He won't pass up the chance to have a fat cheesesteak or meatball sandwich if it's there. He's not a fan of rice so we eat a lot of baked potatoes and boxed mashed potatoes. I've switched all ground meat to turkey and we eat turkey bacon. He's not a big soda drinker but doesn't like water unless it's really hot out. We only drink crystal light at home but he likes green tea and I make him that (from a mix) for his lunches almost daily. Now that it's summer, he has been taking water but doesn't drink it all. I told him he has to drink the whole gallon everyday to flush his system. I think that alone would help him drop pounds quickly. He has a really bad back too and I know if he lost weight he'd feel better!
He has a pretty active job, but thinks that's all he needs as far as exercise. I keep telling him his body is used to that and it's doing nothing for him at this point. He needs to do more if he wants to lose weight. He was an athlete in high school but hasn't done hardly anything physical since I met him 7 years ago because he will almost instantly pull a muscle. I tried getting him to at least do the stretching from p90x, he did it twice and said it was too boring. So I am at a loss for what else to do for him.0 -
I'm 6' 180# now... lost 25# in 4 months on a 1700 cal/day diet plus a 600-1000 cal exercise burn 2-4 times per week..
My typical work day meal plan consists of the following:
Breakfast - Coffee w/ half & half and fiber one bar or fiber one yogurt. = 100-200 calories.
mid morning snack - 4-5 dried figs = 100 cal
Lunch = 2 pieces of fruit and lean cusine meal or canned soup = around 500-600 cal, water to drink
Dinner = typically whatever I want, since I usually have around 800-1000 calories left for the day (more if I work out).. again "seconds" only if I work out, but typically just one plate of food.
Dessert = only if I have workout calories left.
whether I work out or not, I try to stay at that 1700 cal intake level. But if I want that dessert, and I have the calories, I'll have it. And I haven't deprived myself of any specific foods.
if a microwave isn't available, and sandwiches are the only option for lunch, ditch the leavened bread and go for lo-cal wraps.. use leaner lunchmeat (turkey, ham) and no cheese. Add more veggies like lettuce and tomatoes and spicy peppers, and a good mustard. that and a couple pieces of fruit will go far on relatively few calories.0 -
My husband is a sandwich for lunch kind of guy too. Cook up some meat and slice it for sandwiches instead of lunch meat, which is usually loaded with sodium and nitrates. Make him more than 1 sandwich if need be. 2 or 3 healthy homemade sandwiches is definitely better than supplementing with greasy fast foods. Mayo is high calorie, but not necessarily bad food. You can cut the saturated fat in half by switching to one made with canola or olive oil. I like Hellman's Canola oil mayo. Try using different types of greens instead of lettuce to add more nutrients to the sandwich (kale, collards, or chard all make a good substitute).0
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He will eat a salad, but his idea of a salad is a chef's salad with all that meat and cheese in it, then loading it with 2 packets of thousand island dressing! But that salad you suggested sounds amazing! I'll have to give that a try.
I think I will set him up on here, but I doubt he'll get on it himself. I wish he would though so he can finally see what I've been doing all along. He gets mad at me sometimes with all the calorie talk though so I doubt he'd turn into a calorie counter himself. Doesn't mean I can't do it for him though, as long as he tells me what he eats besides what I feed him.
For you men who have replied, what kind of foods do you eat? He's a meat and potatoes kind of guy too. He won't pass up the chance to have a fat cheesesteak or meatball sandwich if it's there. He's not a fan of rice so we eat a lot of baked potatoes and boxed mashed potatoes. I've switched all ground meat to turkey and we eat turkey bacon. He's not a big soda drinker but doesn't like water unless it's really hot out. We only drink crystal light at home but he likes green tea and I make him that (from a mix) for his lunches almost daily. Now that it's summer, he has been taking water but doesn't drink it all. I told him he has to drink the whole gallon everyday to flush his system. I think that alone would help him drop pounds quickly. He has a really bad back too and I know if he lost weight he'd feel better!
He has a pretty active job, but thinks that's all he needs as far as exercise. I keep telling him his body is used to that and it's doing nothing for him at this point. He needs to do more if he wants to lose weight. He was an athlete in high school but hasn't done hardly anything physical since I met him 7 years ago because he will almost instantly pull a muscle. I tried getting him to at least do the stretching from p90x, he did it twice and said it was too boring. So I am at a loss for what else to do for him.
The problem is that he's going to have to want to lose weight. Really want to, not just talk about it. I was EXACTLY like him. I wanted my steaks, bratwurst, McD's, pan crust supreme pizza, chinese buffet.... hmm, I'm getting hungry... what was I going on about again? Oh that's right, it comes down to him dig down and want to change himself. I was a stubborn SOB and wouldn't even consider eating a salad and if I did it was coated in ranch dressing for roughage before I had my steak and baked potato. Damn it, I gotta stop talking about that.
Unfortunately, until he comes to the realization that this is a lifestyle change and not just a diet he's not going to take it seriously. The P90X program is great and if he has time to do it that will help him along. You're absolutely right about his body being used to his daily work activities which is the theory behind the P90X program of muscle confusion. Whether you believe in that or not, though, its still an excellent workout program and he doesn't really have to follow the schedule, just do a few of the workouts now and then. I agree that the Stretch-X and Yoga-X routines are boring and I haven't even touched those but the Chest and Back, AbRipper-X, Cardio-X and Kempo-X are an excellent start if you don't have the equipment. The Cardio/Kempo/Abs don't require any extra equipment and you can get away with only doing the push up portion of the Chest and Back routine because as a beginner, trust me that will be enough!
I think the hardest part is going to be getting him to commit to it and stick with it once he gets started. If you can get him over that hurdle he'll take it from there. Good luck!0 -
This sounds so familiar. My husband needs to loose about 20 lbs. He says it everyday. He has a very stressful job and I pack his lunch. He only has about 30 min. to eat and sometimes he eats while working. When he gets home he takes a shower and crashes on the couch or goes to bed for about an hour nap. There is no way he will ever be able to workout after work. Sometimes I get him to walk around the block with me in the evenings. I think the stress and lack of sleep is mainly what has caused his weight gain. He says he wants to loose weight but when I pack him a healthy lunch he doesn't eat it or he complains. He eats double portions most of the time for supper. I don't know what to do for him. I'm worried about him because most of his weight is in the middle. I've heard that is the worst place to carry fat. I know this isn't helping you at all but I guess I just needed to tell someone my worries. Feeling you pain. :sad:0
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My only suggestion for him is to pack lots of snacks! He might be turning to greasy foods because there are not a lot of options while he is on the road.
My BF is the same way, he is a meat and potatoes kind of guy and isn’t into salads except ceasar with a lot of dressing! However, he loves crudités – carrots, broccoli, cauliflower with a side of low fat creamy dip or some sort of bean dip (black bean).
Also on his snack rotation:
Banana oatmeal cookies (sub apple sauce and stir in some peanut butter for extra protein)
Homemade muffins
Almonds, cashews or peanuts
Protein bar
Fresh fruit (banana, apple, pear)
Whole grain crackers / cheese
Good luck!0 -
Ok, meals. This was tricky for me too.
It helps that I will eat ANYTHING. And I mean that.
I work in an office so breakfast was easy for me.
But if he is on the go, give him an apple and a banana. He can eat it on the way (not too distracting) and it is healthy. It is not a great breakfast but can get him in the habit of eating in the morning. Eventually he will get used to it and be hungry when he wakes up.
Lunch is a different story. Does he pack his own lunch? Problem solved. Sandwiches - switch to whole grain bread, don't heap on mayo, and just switch to less processed lunch meats. If he is truly active he may need 600-800 each meals. For comparison: a Subway Club foot long with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, onion, green pepper, and mustard (no mayo) gets you around 650 calories. I drink alot of tea. I have always liked tea and like it in many forms all unsweetened. I make ice tea at home whenever it gets hot outside. 1 gallon glass jar full of water, 6 tea bags of your choice, 5 hours in direct sunshine. Best tea on the planet.
When it comes to evening meals, alot of it is in the ingredient and preparation. Potatoes are OK just don't eat the equivalent of 5 of them. I like to cut em in wedges and put them on the grill. It is a healthier way and you can get them crispy on the outside if you rub them with olive oil. All meats are good. Don't let anyone fool you. Even steak. As long as it is well trimmed and you don't eat the 32oz Tbone.0 -
Oh, I signed up here. Got my BMR which was 2015 and set a deficit goal of 1700 net per day. I try to break that up into 500cal meals with 200 left for snacks. Usually my breakfast is only around 2-300 so I have wiggle room. It is not a science, it is not an art form. It is a lifestyle. You are really not getting healthy, or trying to lose weight. You are trying to teach yourself habits that will result in a healthier you or a lighter or thinner you. After a while it gets easy.0
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Thanks for all the suggestions! And Ghoztt, I totally agree with you. He has said this before and the next day was eating cheesesteaks again. This time it's been more than 1 day of talking about it haha, yet I'm still not convinced. And as for the yoga and stretching, I couldn't get through those myself. I do think he'd enjoy the other workouts in it though...if he put the time into it. I'm really glad to hear that you've had success even though you were just like my husband is...give me hope for him! So thank you for responding!!
MaryW I hope we can whip these men into shape!!!0 -
My advice, for what it is worth; is start with a smartphone and the MFP application.
My lifestyle is very seditary; I'm an engineer and sit in front of a computer all day long. Then I go home, and relax for the next work day. No activity to speak of. After 23 years of this career; my weight has gone up slowly every year.
Some people blame laziness, others gluttony - I blame it on ignorance. When I'm hungry or bored - I eat. I didn't know, or care what the calories were; as I had no idea how many calories it took to maintain my weight - I simply knew that I was hungry.
Now, thanks to this website; I know that I have to eat no more than 'x' calories a day; and I make decisions on each meal. If I want Carmel Popcorn tonight, that means no chips with my sandwich at lunch. Little trade-offs; things anyone can easily live with. Unlike the fad diets; I don't feel like I'm sacrificing a single thing. I eat what I want, when I want - I just know that I have to adjust my daily meal budget accordingly.
So far, it's been an effortless 13 lb loss. I have a long way to go; but NOW I KNOW that what I eat, makes a difference.0 -
Good job on your loss so far! Sounds like you figured out what works for you! My husband does have a smart phone and the app is already on there because of me. But he won't get on there. I know him enough to know he won't do it but as long as I sort of keep track of it it should help. I am mostly in charge of what he eats anyway so hopefully it'll make a difference. Thanks for responding!0
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