Please help me

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Hi. I'm a 28 (almost 29) year old full time mom and student. I also clean a few houses every week for a little extra cash. I have been trying to lose weight for probably at least 5 years and have been successful only once and it was before I was a mom (my daughter is 2). I have since gained all the weight back and I am feeling hopeless. I will do good for 3 days or sometimes even a week and then I crash and burn. This is making me feel completely depressed and as if I am incapable of living a healthy lifestyle. I hear having a support system or a buddy helps, but no one in my life is that interested or committed to being my "fitness buddy". Help. Please. Tell me what worked for you. Give me advice. Anything. I feel so alone in this.

Replies

  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
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    You are alone. You alone have to choose to make changes. You alone have to control over what you cook and put in your gob. You alone have control over making time for exercise. You alone have to make the decision to live a healthy/good example to your daughter.

    What worked for me; starting to make small changes, i walked at first, read everything (ignored 90% of it) got a digital scale, weighed everything, logged everything, started running, started some body resistance training. Still read everything, now pretty much ignore 95% of it. 100 pounds in a year. been maintaining for about 2 years. Fingers crossed to make it to the 5 year mark.

    Do or dont. its up to you.
  • ashleylovesclairegayle
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    Totally it is a personal thing that no one can do but me, I just wish I had one or two people who wanted to get serious like TRULY serious about doing this. Someone who I could call/message when I'm getting ready to give up again that could help me get back on track. Someone to say "it's not worth it!" Or "remember why you want this!" Or "I struggle too, but let's support each other in making good choices!" I know that is not the only way to do this and that it still has to come from me, but I feel like the people around me right now could literally care less. I tell them "I'm really trying to eat healthy again!" And some of them even kind of laugh about it, as if why do I even try anymore? Here is another struggle though and maybe someone has ideas about this. I live with my parents at the moment and will until August or so. They have no interest in getting the junk food out of the house. Ideas about how to NOT eat the junk?? I keep healthy food here but when I fail as I do so often I go right for the crap food. I know no one can give me the exact answer that will work for me, but what worked for you?? Maybe I'll hear something that I haven't thought of, or that clicks for me!!?? I want this so bad for myself and more importantly for my daughter. I want healthy to be a way of life for her, not something she has to struggle with like I've had to for so long.
  • ashleylovesclairegayle
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    Also, eazy, love that link. Lots of great info there
  • suerichardson42
    suerichardson42 Posts: 6 Member
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    Very true that it's in our control, but still I understand some support is a great help and keeps you focused. Please feel free to add me, perhaps we can help each other
  • Karstey050
    Karstey050 Posts: 62 Member
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    I hear ya! I really is helpful to have friends to encourage you. Add me!
    Karen
  • Silpeanut
    Silpeanut Posts: 62 Member
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    I know where you are coming from. This journey can be a very difficult one. I did not have any support at home and that is when I started reaching out to the MFP community and now I find tons of support, motivation and inspiration from all my awesome MFP friends! Please feel free to add me, my diary is open, I log everyday and love to support my friends. Anyone else looking for friends can add me too. Stay strong and have an amazing day!!
  • ashleylovesclairegayle
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    Thank you thank you I am adding everyone right now!!
  • MamaMc3
    MamaMc3 Posts: 213 Member
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    Add me! I'll encourage you if you'll do the same for me! I am really committed to dropping my weight and getting healthy! I'm not perfect, but I'm in this for the long haul. :)
  • Tblackdogs
    Tblackdogs Posts: 324 Member
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    I agree with some of the other comments that it really is important that you want it. I have a supportive husband and supportive friends but no one really wants to hear about how many calories I've eaten today or how badly I want Dairy Queen or other things like that. I have two young teenagers and one thing that has helped me ever since they were born was wanting to be a good role model and wanting to set a good example. I think about when they are adults (and maybe parents). Do I want them to remember their mom being a couch potato or being the mom who goes sledding with them or bike riding? Do I want them to remember me cooking home cooked meals and stressing the importance of fruits and vegetables or do I want them to only have memories of prepared foods or take-out? You will never be perfect. There's no such thing. But now that you're a parent, you can do your best to be your best so that your daughter will want to be like you some day. Friends here on MFP are great because they know what you're going through. Vent and rage about how hard it is here and people will support you. Then in real life, talk about current events, your classes, movies you've seen and keep your diet and health issues largely to yourself. Break out the stroller and walk with your daughter. Make healthy snacks for her and eat them with her. And most of all be happy. Life is a work in progress...
  • cryptobrit
    cryptobrit Posts: 200 Member
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    Ashley. Have you had any medical checks first after having your daughter? Your metabolism for starters could be out of sync and taking a while to get right. There could be other issues that are affecting your weight loss. No harm in double checking. I also think it is mean of besaro to say 'you are alone' when it is obvious you are feeling a bit low and needing encouragement, not knocking back. While I agree often it is the person themselves who should 'want' to do whatever is their aim; often there are other factors involved. My daughter for example has PCOS and went months and months working out, eating healthily, had a very active job and so on. She really struggles to lose weight even though on the go constantly. Myself being of a 'certain age' struggles to lose the 10lbs I need to shed due to my metabolism slowing down at menopause. I was previously the sort of person if putting on a few pounds could easily shed them within a week. Not any more:-(; add this to not being able to exercise properly it isn't easy at all. Many folk have their own personal battles that genuinely get in the way. Keep going Ashley, you can do it.
  • SuzanEnisMira
    SuzanEnisMira Posts: 3 Member
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    Only this app have helped me. I didn't change my diet, I just eat the amount of calories the app calculates. And because I love food, I run a lot and few times a day because I'm still not fit enough to run for long periods of timw and being a mummy also leaves me with very short breaks. It have worked for me. if you're like me addicted to unhealthy food, you still an lose weight. just a lost few healthy snacks/meals that you would love.
  • jwmapsy
    jwmapsy Posts: 2 Member
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    Sounds like the struggles you're feeling have as much to do with your own self battle as they do with your family support system not supporting or perhaps even sabotaging you. I can totally relate to both. Reaching out for help here is a true sign of strength and I hope you can see that. It shows that you really know what you need. There are a few tricks to avoiding the junk food in the house, but I suggest starting a written "Eat" and "Don't Eat" inventory of the kitchen and posting it on the fridge where you'll always see it. Visual cues are much more powerful than we're aware of. Anyway, I'm more than happy to help as I'm on my own "finally get healthy" journey and would love some company. :-)
  • Debmal77
    Debmal77 Posts: 4,770 Member
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    eazy__ wrote: »

    This sums it all up. Please take time to read the first page in the sexpants thread. Everyone should.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
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    Debmal77 wrote: »
    eazy__ wrote: »

    This sums it all up. Please take time to read the first page in the sexpants thread. Everyone should.

    This 100%
  • Debmal77
    Debmal77 Posts: 4,770 Member
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    thorsmom01 wrote: »
    Debmal77 wrote: »
    eazy__ wrote: »

    This sums it all up. Please take time to read the first page in the sexpants thread. Everyone should.

    This 100%

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  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    Debmal77 wrote: »
    eazy__ wrote: »

    This sums it all up. Please take time to read the first page in the sexpants thread. Everyone should.

    It pretty much does.
  • watsonk9880
    watsonk9880 Posts: 12 Member
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    You can add me!! I struggled for along time to lose weight and I finally got a grip on it and lost over 100 pounds!! I would to help you and cheer you on cause it possible with some motivation and hard work :smile: