Failing lately

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JDMPWR
JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
in Motivation and Support
I was talking with my MFP friends on my page about my loss of drive and focus. When I started I was dropping weight like woah. I got down to 180 and was within 10lbs of hitting 10% bf. I lost it right there. I felt burnt out and tired.

I took close to a month off and have been fighting with myself mentally as well as physically to get to my goal. When I came back I tweaked my diet and dropped my carbs even more and it seemed to make things slow down even more. This week I upped my carbs back up and all I feel is tired all the time now.

I originally had my goal set for my birthday in May. Never hit it. Now I have 3 weddings to go to in August. I find out my X is going to be there. When I found that out I made it my goal to hit that 170 by August 16th!. No way in hell is it going to happen as I know how hard it was to get to 180 let alone 170.

I have 2 months to lose 26 lbs. I figure I can maybe get to 178-180 by that time but for some reason I can't figure out what the deal is, not sure if it's mental or if it's physical. I get on the stairmaster and want to just give up where before it never was even a thought in my mind.

I am a strong believer in mind over matter and think it's just that and that's it but who knows. This post may make no sense as it's just a rant off the top of my head.

Replies

  • SarahofTwins
    SarahofTwins Posts: 1,169 Member
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    It sounds like a mental game that is going on, sometimes we are too hard on ourselves and the stress makes it even worse. It looks like you've been doing great and perhaps the events that are coming up are making you really evaluate your goals. You know what works best for you and it will take time to get to that goal weight you've been reaching. Good luck to you!:drinker:
  • ikatya
    ikatya Posts: 1
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    I think you're being too hard on yourself. I also think that your goals are too ambituous--think baby steps, not giant leaps. It's the only way of losing weight permanently. Go for losing 1lb. per week, not more. That way you won't feel so drained. You won't achieve much by eating 500 kalories a day; instead, you will feel grumpy (and risk binge eating).

    I eat 1200-1600 per day. If I'm under that I will eat something to make up for it, even if I'm not particularly hungry, like some fruit or yogurt. I have days where I don't lose any weight or even put a pound or so back on (fluctuation is normal I hear). But the important thing is that the trend is downwards, and that every week I lose a little. Make sure you exercise regularly, and that it's something you enjoy. If you don't like running, try to go swimming instead. And if you have pig-out day.... Well, just start the next day like nothing ever happened.

    Also--your ex?? Who are you losing weight for, your ex or yourself?????

    Today is day 1. Get started. Good luck! :)
  • mcalabrese79
    mcalabrese79 Posts: 23
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    First of all CONGRATS ON YOUR 36LB LOSS!!! Thats really a great accomplishment in itself.

    At the beginning of last year I lost 33 pounds in 6 months. At first it fell off like crazy!! Then the dreaded plateau happened. At the time, I was doing weight watchers (which is a great program). My plateau lasted for 3 weeks!!! I finally went to them and asked about plateaus. Turns out your body gets tired of the same o same o and just says "augh whatever... Im bored"... so, I was told to EAT MORE!!! I was shocked! In weight watchers you eat by a point system. You have X amount of extra points each week that you can use. So... I would think if you tricked your body with the occassional cheeseburger after eating right for a week AND increased your workout routine to and additional 15 minutes or so, you will probably see a change.

    As for mental.. Im there with you. I had to force myself to start losing again.. Once I saw the scal change, I have become motivated. Sometimes I thinking just MAKING yourself is the start. Also, get a workout buddy if you dont already have one :-) Just a thought.

    Hang in there!!! It will work with your dedication!
  • kelsully
    kelsully Posts: 1,008 Member
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    you are not failing..you are struggling. Struggling indicates still trying. You only fail when you stop and assume that all is lost...as you are trying to figure it out you are far from failing. (tattoo this sentiment on my brain for me would you? I need to be reminded of this in many aspects of my life especially around the holidays and lost teeth as I constantly screw up the mythical character thing for my kids...)

    There are things that you might be able to adjust...you can afford smaller burns as you often times eat far below your calorie goal. It might be ok for you to match your goal and your intake a little more...that might help with the fatigue as you will actually fuel your acitivities.

    You have some tweaking to do. You are doing fine as you keep working toward your goal despite the frustrations that come along with this ever changing chemistry experiment of our bodies.
  • laceylovespink
    laceylovespink Posts: 138
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    I am NO expert by ANY means but I'm just going to mention a few things...I wonder what would happen if you would just eat a clean, enjoyable meal (like you did in the beginning) and if you added a bunch of really awesome new songs to your workout music or started watching something you enjoyed while doing the cardio, if that would help? Sometimes I get so focused on LOSING LOSING LOSING that I forget how far I've come and how absolutely fantastic I feel compared to when I was a big slob.
    My advice, (take it or leave it) is to go back through some of your old posts, journals if you kept them, just look at all the reasons that you wanted to start on this journey in the first place. Maybe go to the gym and do the workouts you most enjoy. As for looking good for the weddings, you ALREADY look so good. I promise you that your X will see the SELF CONFIDENCE before she sees your weight, wether it is your weight now or if you lose to goal. If you haven't read the book 'psycho cybernetics' I think this is a most excellent time.
    You aren't failing anything, you are simply worrying too much about others perception of you and not remembering the hard work, determination and dedication it took to get to the point you are at.
  • ladybug1620
    ladybug1620 Posts: 1,136 Member
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    I definitely think it is mental sometimes. Like you, sometimes when I get thisclose to my goal I tend to lose focus and almost seems like I'm trying to sabotage myself. The only thing you can do is just get back on track. You want it, right? You know what you have to do to get there, right? Then stop thinking about how tired you are, how you can't do it, and just do it. We all know you can. We've seen what you can do.
  • HoLLyZ82
    HoLLyZ82 Posts: 467 Member
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    im wondering if this is some sort of mid loss crisis? lol. kind of like a mid life crisis but we are both about half way (or more) to our goal and feel this way. i sure hope it passes and you find your mojo again. we like when you are upbeat and feeling good about yourself. you keep us all chipper....chipper? really? who says that? ;)
  • Chicka_Boom
    Chicka_Boom Posts: 62
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    It makes total sense - it can be tough to maintain the motivation you need to push yourself. The important thing is that you recognize that you're slipping, so you can start to figure out what you have to do to get back in gear.

    It's possible that you just won't be able to maintain the enthusiasm you had initially. That's fine as long as you can keep on working towards your goals you don't have to feel like you need to move full speed ahead 24/7 365. You also shouldn't let your ex stress you out - you're in awesome shape, just be friendly & nonchalant with her and either take a hot date or flirt with some cute bridesmaids. She'll see what she's missing out on!

    Some things you could try to find your motivation again:

    - Write down your goals and tape them somewhere you'll see them every day, like the fridge or the mirror over your sink.
    - Figure out whether your goals are actually realistic, and adjust accordingly. If your weight loss/gain is slowing down - as it naturally does - try setting goals in areas like physical fitness or inches lost/gained (i.e. I can do 50 push-ups now, I want to be able to do 100 by July 16 or I want to lose half an inch from my waist & gain half an inch on my bicep).
    - Don't be hard on yourself! Try to remember what makes this fun & rewarding for you - the extra energy, the attention from women, the compliments, the sense of satisfaction when you drop a minute off of your mile or an inch off of your waist, the rush of endorphins following a good workout - whatever has gotten you going in the past!
    - Find friends, preferably both online and in real life, who will help keep you motivated. Explain your situation to them and ask that they check in on you and monitor your progress to keep you accountable. Offer to do the same for them if they are interested.
    - Get a workout buddy.
    - Switch up your diet/fitness routine. If you have been pumping weights at the gym, try joining an intramural sports league instead. If you have been running on a treadmill, switch to the great outdoors. If you have been eating the same thing over and over again (grilled lean chicken and steamed veggies AGAIN?) look up recipes and mix it up.

    Good luck! You'll get through this!
  • noltes2
    noltes2 Posts: 202 Member
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    I just wanted to say I can relate to this immensely. In my experience deadlines and events put too much pressure on and actually has the opposite effect. I get discouraged and bad habits start slipping in due to self sabotage. Honestly, I would stop giving yourself strict deadlines and try to relax. Do as much as you can each day, and if you slip up so be it. If you stay on track MOST of the time, you will reach your goals, it just might take a little longer than you hoped. But that's better than being a stress-mess. Even if it takes you 6 months to lose 26 pounds that would be an AMAZING accomplishment that is actually maintainable.
  • Chicka_Boom
    Chicka_Boom Posts: 62
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    you are not failing..you are struggling. Struggling indicates still trying. You only fail when you stop

    Oh my god, I LOVE this. It is so true.
  • ANewton401
    ANewton401 Posts: 118 Member
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    I feel ya! The past few days, also due to my injury, I have NOT been able to concentrate or workout. It has been horrible. I'm starting to forget why it is I want this so bad and if I can live with my body the way it is. The truth is I know I am capable of so much and I just try to repeat that to myself.
    You are an awesome MFP, so you are NOT allowed to give up ;)

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