Social Activities - should I stop?
cthakkar1985
Posts: 137 Member
The only time I ever mess up on my diet is when I'm in social settings - at a bar, restaurant, a party, etc. I've tried to attend these events and be healthy but 9/10 times I can't control myself. I think I'll just have a beer and before I know it, I've had a few brews and half a pizza. Am I better off just avoiding these situations for the most part? Any tricks to attend and not go overboard?
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Life would be different without your social circles. Is that really how you want to live?
I vote to just accept when you go over, and work out a little more the rest of the week, and/or eat a little less on other days before/after the party day(s).
If you're not into those ideas, fill up on low cal high volume foods before you leave home so that you're less hungry and can make better food decisions at the parties. Alcohol tends to weaken my resolve, so i really limit my intake0 -
If you know you are going to go to this type of thing why not plan for it? Eat less during the day, maybe save some calories over the days leading up to it, do some extra exercise to offset the anticipated calorie intake, load up on veggies before you go out so you get full faster when you start on the pizza. Leave the credit cards at home and only carry enough cash to buy the amount you know you can eat and a tip for the bartender/server.0
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If you know that they are that big of a weak point then I say yes. Changes are never easy, especially when it's a lifestyle change to get healthier. There are some things we have to dial back on or cut out completely if the changes we want to make are important to us. You could always wait until your changes are more solid and your self control is better and try again down the road in moderation but for now you might want to hold off0
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You are going to have social events for the rest of your life. There will always be things that crop up you weren't planning for and days you go ovee. You'll have to make your peace with that if you want to maintain successfully. Take a break or limit some of your activities if you really want, but I kept going out with friends. Sometimes I had to accept a little less weight loss that week. But I don't think I would have been successful in the long term if I'd cut my friends out completely.0
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If it was me I would not miss out on social events. Just 'think it out' if you know you will probably go out then eat very light during the day and do extra cardio. So a few times a week is no big deal.0
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Eating to achieve a healthy weight is not a temporary thing, it's a "forever" thing. Speaking only for myself, I'm not willing to give up my social life forever. So, I've been using the weight loss process as a way to learn ways of eating that I can use permanently to stay at a healthy weight.
For social occasions, I do a variety of the same things others have mentioned: Cut back my calorie budget a little each day for a few days in advance to "save up"; get some extra exercise to balance out the extra food; use mental rehearsals of the event to plan out a good way to eat; eat sensible things beforehand so I'm not hungry; go over my calorie budget and know that that will delay my weight loss, or require me to lose extra weight; eat lightly the rest of the day to balance out the social occasion; or some combination of the above.
That said, alcohol can be a complicating factor (lowers inhibitions/will power). One can switch to a lower alcohol drink, as one option. Personally, I like my craft beer, so I'm more likely to make it a point to drink at least one large glass of water for each glass of beer to make it last longer, and perhaps have some sensible but slow-to-eat food with the beer to slow me down & moderate the effect of the alcohol.
If I handle a situation poorly, I think it over afterward & decide what I could have done differently . . . then don't stress about it further and return persistently to my healthy routine. It works.0 -
I go out but I drink soda water with lime or kombucha, if I don't drink alcohol, I have no problems with my resolve, that's just me. Still plan on having alcohol but much rarer than the amount I go out. I go out with friends 2-3x a week, but maybe only drink once a month? right now i'm doing dry january, I still see my friends all the time.0
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For what it's worth, blowing off your social events for the sake of your calorie count sounds like a very lonely way to live. Go out, have fun, try to watch what you eat, and promise yourself that you'll throw in some extra cardio for a few days afterwords to burn off that pizza and beer.
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I have a simple way of dealing with this. I don't do free days. I don't make allowances for cheating every day...or one day per week. I aim for excellence; knowing I'll probably not be perfect, but I'll come close.
HOWEVER...life is meant for living. If my parents come to town and are going to take me out to eat; all bets are off. I'm having what I want, but just for that meal or occasion. Same with parties, etc. However, I don't throw the whole day away. Also, I don't punish myself the next day with starvation or more exercise; I just resume life doing what I was doing.
Look, this fitness thing is hard enough. Don't make it harder than it already is.0 -
How about reserving 100 calories a day, before a social event & possible a 100 calories after; depending upon how many social events there're and/or exercise more?0
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If it's happening several times a week, cut down the frequency - but don't cut it out completely. Even people who've never had an extra ounce of fat on their body in their lives overeat sometimes. It's part of life. Just add an extra 30 minutes of exercise the next few times you work out, try to walk a little more, and/or have a smaller breakfast than usual the next day, especially if you're not feeling that hungry.
You don't want to live as a hermit for the rest of your life, or to alienate your friends because of a diet.0 -
I was never planning to completely cut out social interaction, just minimize a lot until I reach my goal. Recently, I spent ~6 months limiting social activities to once/week and I lost 50 lbs and was basically at my goal weight/best shape of my life. It was well worth it. Since then, I relapsed a bit and gained some of that weight back - mostly because I started going out 2-3 times/week and lost track of my diet. Thanks all for the advice - I think I'll go back to going out once/week and plan accordingly for that day (more exercise/save calories/etc.). I think that's a good balance.0
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Plan your consumption and log it in your diary before you go and then stick to your plan. Even then, an occasional self indulgent day isn't the end of the world.0
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cthakkar1985 wrote: »I was never planning to completely cut out social interaction, just minimize a lot until I reach my goal. Recently, I spent ~6 months limiting social activities to once/week and I lost 50 lbs and was basically at my goal weight/best shape of my life. It was well worth it. Since then, I relapsed a bit and gained some of that weight back - mostly because I started going out 2-3 times/week and lost track of my diet. Thanks all for the advice - I think I'll go back to going out once/week and plan accordingly for that day (more exercise/save calories/etc.). I think that's a good balance.
Sounds like a plan if you already know it works. I'm the kind of person who starts trying to figure out when she can leave a party as soon as she gets there so I don't really have good advice specifically about social situations. However, I have had times when I've had to drastically reduce the number of times I ate certain foods, just because I needed to retrain my brain and develop better habits (control.) As long as it is short term (and I consider even 6 months or a year short term in comparison to the length of one's life) and you're working toward developing better impulse control and behaviors, I think that your plan is a good one.0 -
cthakkar1985 wrote: »I was never planning to completely cut out social interaction, just minimize a lot until I reach my goal. Recently, I spent ~6 months limiting social activities to once/week and I lost 50 lbs and was basically at my goal weight/best shape of my life. It was well worth it. Since then, I relapsed a bit and gained some of that weight back - mostly because I started going out 2-3 times/week and lost track of my diet. Thanks all for the advice - I think I'll go back to going out once/week and plan accordingly for that day (more exercise/save calories/etc.). I think that's a good balance.
Sounds like you got this! 0 -
Protranser wrote: »Life would be different without your social circles. Is that really how you want to live?
I vote to just accept when you go over, and work out a little more the rest of the week, and/or eat a little less on other days before/after the party day(s).
If you're not into those ideas, fill up on low cal high volume foods before you leave home so that you're less hungry and can make better food decisions at the parties. Alcohol tends to weaken my resolve, so i really limit my intake
I agree, don't stop living your life, it's much too important for your overall wellbeing.0 -
when i quit smoking i had to stop all of my regular activities. bars, parties, smoker friends,drinking, crossword puzzles (not kidding) coffee, salsa, (yup, i said salsa) in order to become a person who doesn't smoke. It sucked but it had to be for me to succeed. I was able to invite all those things back in after several years. (This was when you could still smoke in bars!!! remember those days? lol)
They say surround yourself with people who mimic your goals. Maybe get your friends to play kickball, go hiking, do active activities.0 -
you gonna be a hermit the rest of your life?
ask my ex how well thats working for him....
make it work, or do what you need to do to control the situation. dont eat earlier in the day, get in extra workouts, reduce calories through the rest of the week. figure it out.
you have to learn how to deal with these things if you want to be able to maintain your loss once you reach there. limiting your social stuff know isnt teaching you ANYTHING.
i live for going out with my friends. we eat and drink and have a great time. ive lost 70pounds in the past year. you can be social and have fun and still lose weight.0 -
Afterthought: Any chance you can lure any of your friends into new types of social activities: A walk/hike, some basketball, rock-climbing wall someplace, that sort of thing? Also, would you consider broadening your social circle to include some people who are more active & health-oriented, to reinforce your new, improved lifestyle? (I'm not - oh, so not! - suggesting you drop your existing friends!) I've met new folks through my gym & other active pursuits, and the activities do tend to be different, let alone the attitudes and conversation.0
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Make an effort to change the social activities. They don't all need to be based around alcohol and terrible food. Meet up for a hike or some other sport instead, or go for coffee instead of to a bar.0
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cthakkar1985 wrote: »I was never planning to completely cut out social interaction, just minimize a lot until I reach my goal. Recently, I spent ~6 months limiting social activities to once/week and I lost 50 lbs and was basically at my goal weight/best shape of my life. It was well worth it. Since then, I relapsed a bit and gained some of that weight back - mostly because I started going out 2-3 times/week and lost track of my diet. Thanks all for the advice - I think I'll go back to going out once/week and plan accordingly for that day (more exercise/save calories/etc.). I think that's a good balance.
Yeah but then what's going to happen when you reach your goal? Maintenance is not that different. Yeah, you'll have a few more calories to eat, but still not enough for half a pizza and 4 beers. So unless you're ok with limiting your social interactions forever (which is sad, IMO), you're better off learning moderation now.
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cthakkar1985 wrote: »I was never planning to completely cut out social interaction, just minimize a lot until I reach my goal. Recently, I spent ~6 months limiting social activities to once/week and I lost 50 lbs and was basically at my goal weight/best shape of my life. It was well worth it. Since then, I relapsed a bit and gained some of that weight back - mostly because I started going out 2-3 times/week and lost track of my diet. Thanks all for the advice - I think I'll go back to going out once/week and plan accordingly for that day (more exercise/save calories/etc.). I think that's a good balance.
Yeah but then what's going to happen when you reach your goal? Maintenance is not that different. Yeah, you'll have a few more calories to eat, but still not enough for half a pizza and 4 beers. So unless you're ok with limiting your social interactions forever (which is sad, IMO), you're better off learning moderation now.
That's a very good point. I guess I made the same mistake last time when I reached my goal weight and relapsed because I started going back to my old habits. I think I need to figure out what permanent life style changes I can make instead of temporary fixes. I can't stop living my life because I'm trying to get back in shape. I think the best solution is engage in more physical/outdoor activities that don't involve alcohol and greasy food + moderation when I am in those situations. Because ultimately, what's going to happen once I reach my goal weight - I can't switch back to the old lifestyle and expect to stay in shape.0 -
cthakkar1985 wrote: »I was never planning to completely cut out social interaction, just minimize a lot until I reach my goal. Recently, I spent ~6 months limiting social activities to once/week and I lost 50 lbs and was basically at my goal weight/best shape of my life. It was well worth it. Since then, I relapsed a bit and gained some of that weight back - mostly because I started going out 2-3 times/week and lost track of my diet. Thanks all for the advice - I think I'll go back to going out once/week and plan accordingly for that day (more exercise/save calories/etc.). I think that's a good balance.
Once a week sounds like a reasonable amount of socializing like that to me.0 -
I hear you. I always tell people that summer is far worse for me than Xmas. Parties, barbeques, potato salad, pasta salad, steaks, burgers and drrrriiiinks way too often. My big commitment is to log, log, log when the season rolls around this year - that's usually been when I've stopped coming on here and back comes the weight. So many outdoor activities to get engaged in to account for the odd binge and if I log and deficit a bit on the other days it shouldn't be a problem. That's the plan, anyway.0
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A trick I use is to take a picture of everything I eat or drink. It helps me log more honestly, and gives me that "stop and think moment before eating that 3rd piece of pizza or ordering that 3rd beer. At first, I was self-conscious about snapping the pics, but food porn is so commonplace now that nobody really takes notice when I snap a shot of my beer and wings!0
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cthakkar1985 wrote: »cthakkar1985 wrote: »I was never planning to completely cut out social interaction, just minimize a lot until I reach my goal. Recently, I spent ~6 months limiting social activities to once/week and I lost 50 lbs and was basically at my goal weight/best shape of my life. It was well worth it. Since then, I relapsed a bit and gained some of that weight back - mostly because I started going out 2-3 times/week and lost track of my diet. Thanks all for the advice - I think I'll go back to going out once/week and plan accordingly for that day (more exercise/save calories/etc.). I think that's a good balance.
Yeah but then what's going to happen when you reach your goal? Maintenance is not that different. Yeah, you'll have a few more calories to eat, but still not enough for half a pizza and 4 beers. So unless you're ok with limiting your social interactions forever (which is sad, IMO), you're better off learning moderation now.
That's a very good point. I guess I made the same mistake last time when I reached my goal weight and relapsed because I started going back to my old habits. I think I need to figure out what permanent life style changes I can make instead of temporary fixes. I can't stop living my life because I'm trying to get back in shape. I think the best solution is engage in more physical/outdoor activities that don't involve alcohol and greasy food + moderation when I am in those situations. Because ultimately, what's going to happen once I reach my goal weight - I can't switch back to the old lifestyle and expect to stay in shape.
Yes, NOW you've got it! I was going to post a counterpoint to your previous post, but @Francl27 beat me to it! Learning balance and moderation now is the key, otherwise you just set yourself up for an endless cycle of yo-yo dieting.
Also, per your OP: "but 9/10 times I can't control myself" - YES, yes you can. You CHOOSE to do so and I think you're now starting to see that. It's all about mindset, first and foremost.0
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