Do you tell people in your real life that you are trying to lose weight?

kgirlhart
kgirlhart Posts: 5,156 Member
in Motivation and Support
Do you find it motivates you to let people know you are working on your weight? I don't really talk about my weight or my goals to anyone. I really didn't even want to tell my husband I was trying to lose weight, but it is hard not to tell someone you live with that you are watching your weight when you are weighing your food before you eat it. Plus I have started exercising so there is no way he wouldn't know. I have found that coming on this community board and having friends on here is good motivation and I like to get ideas from others and talk about weight loss and ask questions with other people who are trying to lose weight, but in real life I don't want people asking me how it is going, or if I am still trying to lose especially people who are not also trying to lose weight. My husband is about to drive me crazy because he wants to tell people how much weight I have lost. So far I have lost 24 pounds and my goal is 60 pounds. So I am not even halfway to my goal. And he wants to tell people how much weight I have lost. He says he is just really proud of me. While that does make me happy, I don't want him volunteering that information. Am I just weird? I told him that if someone comments to him that I have lost weight I don't care if he tells them how much I have lost, but that I don't want him to just volunteer that information or post it on facebook or anything like that. I don't want people not to comment on my weight loss if they notice it, but I don't want people to know how hard I am trying and to know if I fail. Am I being unreasonable? Should I stop being so private about it? Do you find it helpful to tell others when you are trying to lose weight?
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Replies

  • angelamichelle_xo
    angelamichelle_xo Posts: 646 Member
    eh sometimes. mostly i just say i need to pass my physical exam for police test and then they shut the heck up about it. i'm avg weight, so when people find out i am trying to lose they give me the stink eye.
  • whirlygigs4
    whirlygigs4 Posts: 6 Member
    Not really. The only time it comes up is when I say "I don't have enough calories for [insert food here]."

    I think telling people and sharing specific numbers would just add extra pressure to me. I keep it to myself.
  • JenniferLynWhatx
    JenniferLynWhatx Posts: 141 Member
    I tell my mom and my boyfriend so that when I lose I can tell someone ... And I like to check in at the gym on FB.
  • noobletmcnugget
    noobletmcnugget Posts: 518 Member
    edited January 2016
    Nah. I don't want anyone giving me their (usually incorrect) diet advice. I'd rather just keep it to myself, especially as I don't really have much to lose - there just doesn't seem that much of a point.
  • SamathaDain
    SamathaDain Posts: 17 Member
    I usually don't talk about my weight with friends. I'm average weight so any time I talk about working out or I pass on dessert, a certain close friend of mine always has something negative to say. She's more into loving your body at the weight you are. Which is wonderful and I 100% agree, but I also want to be healthy. She will readily admit that she is a queen bee and therefor will never have a need to run or pick up anything over 20 lbs. She says there is no need for her to ever try to lose weight because she is perfectly happy in a size 18 and will never be any smaller. Again, great for her but not what I want for me. I have found so much more support here than in person.
  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
    no. i didn't share with others i was losing weight. it doesnt make you strange. I play close the vest in my life too. In this world of "*kitten* share everything" yeah, you might feel like an oddball, but its not. I didn't want my family sharing my weight loss either. Like you, if people noticed and said something, fine. But to go announcing it willy-nilly gives me the heebie-geebies. On a site that focuses on weight loss/health/fitness/gains yes, it makes sense to share, i dont even really like having rl friends/family as friends on mfp, but I've allowed a few after they tracked me down, lol
  • dwulet130
    dwulet130 Posts: 108 Member
    My boyfriends knows, mostly because we live together and he sees me tracking. I go out to eat A LOT so a lot of my friends have heard me say "I'm watching what I'm eating" but they don't know I religiously count calories. They always respond with "but you're already thin" and I brush it off with "and I want to stay that way." They don't need to know about 6 pounds of gut I need to get lose.
  • hapa11
    hapa11 Posts: 182 Member
    I never mention it outside my house, and if someone comments that I've lost weight, I just smile and say yes, I have, thanks. If they ask how much, or how I did it I will tell them, but very basic information, like "I just started eating less and running." I think most of the people on these forums who complain that co-workers/friends are always telling them how to eat, or the right way to lose weight, etc. are the ones who make it a big deal in the first place. I've never had anyone be critical of my weight loss, because I don't present it something I want to give or receive advice about.
  • dgoode444
    dgoode444 Posts: 20 Member
    My cousin and I workout and plan our meals together which makes it so much easier on the days when I want to give up. It doesn't bother me what other people say because I am doing this so I can be healthy. If they care they will support me.
  • Remoth
    Remoth Posts: 117 Member
    I get where you are coming from, I don't like telling people until I have gained some ground at least. I don't like being that person who "oh, he's trying to lose weight again, let's see if he actually goes through with it this time. ". It's the same idea of a smoker who tries to quit every other week but never follows through.

    But I would say you should be proud of what you've done. Being halfway to your goal, no matter how small is a great feat. In the end, if you don't want to tell anyone, then you don't have to. People will see it for themselves sooner or later. Keep it up!!
  • JennieMaeK
    JennieMaeK Posts: 474 Member
    When I started I didn't really tell anyone. I've lost over 60 lbs now, people have noticed :) If asked, I'll talk about, but I don't just bring it up.
  • bsbprincess
    bsbprincess Posts: 161 Member
    I only tell my fiance, in real life. I have such a support system between my online friends (both here and gamers) plus instagram, so I don't feel the need to. Plus, I REALLY love when I get the "are you losing weight??" without them knowing I'm trying.

    This eliminates the possibility of people saying that just to be nice :P
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    When I was actively losing weight I kept it to myself. When/if someone asked, I usually told them I was trying to improve my health and be more fit...which was the truth...I never really mentioned weight itself
  • disasterman
    disasterman Posts: 746 Member
    edited January 2016
    I learned early on that if I didn't want unsolicited advice and comments (and I don't) it was best not to share it.
  • Internistella
    Internistella Posts: 67 Member
    I thought I was the only weirdo who preferred not to discuss weight loss. I have gone back and forth gaining and losing the same 30lbs or so every other year. My friends don't really comment on my weight either way, (thank goodness) and I prefer it that way. I like to keep my MFP friends with similar goals for weight related conversations.
  • Emmest1
    Emmest1 Posts: 8 Member
    I think it completely depends. Like Angela, I'm average weight so I don't tell people about it for fear of the repercussions. I waited a bit to tell my husband but luckily he is having an exercise craze (they come and go!) just now so it was easier breaking the news. Like you, I'd be happy with people commenting on my appearance but I'd rather not offer the information.
  • Downwinds
    Downwinds Posts: 15 Member
    Well my girlfriend knows, and isn't exactly best pleased since I'm already 'normal weight' for my height. Most people seem to think if someone who's less than 'overweight' wants to lose weight then it's a 'bad' thing. So I've learnt not to go on about it much to anyone else, especially my family...
  • jonipecson
    jonipecson Posts: 29 Member
    I have shared with coworkers so and immediate family. When you tell one, others find out :) The only thing that I hate is the unsolicited advice I get from different ones that don't understand where I'm coming from and they are on crash diets or are already small to begin with. I've always been a big girl and I finally got tired of my weight affecting my health and decided to do something. I officially started at 290 and now I'm down to 257.7. It feels good and I'm not letting the comments and advice stop me. I'm learning to take it with a grain of salt. I think it would have been better not to say too much and I commend you for what you are doing with not sharing with a lot of people. smiley:
  • fitdaisygrrl
    fitdaisygrrl Posts: 139 Member
    When I first started, only me and my husband knew (we're doing this together and both have about 40 lbs to lose). But as time goes on, a few more people know now especially when they see me at the gym, or at work we're doing a weight-loss "biggest loser" kind of contest. But I try to keep as much to myself as I can. Not because I'm worried I'll fail, but I don't want to open myself up to comments or negative things that will demotivate me.
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    I don't bring it up. sometimes someone will comment on what I order or eat and say something like "you on a diet?". sometimes a co-worker will mention going out for lunch, and I'll decline. sometimes they will ask why, and I'll say "I'm being a bit more structured about my intake"

    In the end .. co-workers and fam know I'm working on my weight, but I don't have to bring it up. It's just kind of obvious if you're observant.
  • kgirlhart
    kgirlhart Posts: 5,156 Member
    Thanks y'all. This has really made me feel better. I get that he wants to brag on me and I don't want to deprive him of that, but I'm not really all that comfortable bragging on myself. I am proud of the weight I have lost so far. I am really just trying to be healthy. If people notice that I am losing and comment then that is great, but I don't want to feel like they are saying it just to be nice. And I don't want to hear negatives or bad advice either.
  • CariJean64
    CariJean64 Posts: 297 Member
    I did much better before I said anything to anyone. I'd lost 50 pounds before my husband even asked, and was halfway to my goal before I started discussing it with other people. Now I wish I hadn't! People began looking at me as some kind of expert, even though I didn't offer any advice other than to join MFP. Then I had a really rough summer (funeral, hospice, funeral) and regained about half of what I'd lost. I feel like I'm almost starting over now and I'm going to try to keep it to myself as much as possible, and answer questions briefly, and see if that helps.
  • jmedee21
    jmedee21 Posts: 2 Member
    I think you should do whatever works for you! I tell certain people but I don't post about it on Facebook or other social media sites (other than fitness pal). I like talking about it with people who are doing the same thing because it motivates me. If it makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't do it.

    Great job on the loss so far! You are awesome!
  • gsnow597
    gsnow597 Posts: 36 Member
    I usually wait until someone ask about weight loss. That's the true motivation for me! I try not to judge someone that is really overweight but it does serve as a reminder that I could get that way too...easily!!! As far as your Hubby is concerned, Just ask him to not volunteer info until someone else brags about you because that is his male libido booster for him and should be a female libido booster for you!
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    In the end, I will make ONE facebook post: AFTER I lose 100lbs I will post a before and after with the caption 100lbs gone. That is the only time I will ever mention weight loss on facebook.
  • WyldRoots
    WyldRoots Posts: 1,078 Member
    I generally don't. I don't like people knowing my struggles, and I don't want to feel like I'm being judged, either positively or negatively. If it comes up, where I'm in a position that I need to decline a food because of my calorie limit, I'll simply say I ate recently, and I'm just not feeling it.
  • sanfromny
    sanfromny Posts: 770 Member
    For the most part no. My husband knows, my close friend and her husband because the four of us are always together and share similar fitness goals. I shared a few years ago with some co-workers and at one point they kept telling me that I was getting too small (5'2" 150). I felt like when they saw how much weight i was losing and they weren't the sabotage began..."C'mon San, a slice of pizza won't kill you". or "you're getting too small, you're starting to look sick" blah blah blah...so anyway I learned to just chat with others who have similar goals and interests...
  • sunnybeaches105
    sunnybeaches105 Posts: 2,831 Member
    Yes. Usually over a couple of donuts, a cheeseburger, and several beers
  • LizaDK914
    LizaDK914 Posts: 54 Member
    I don't think you're being unreasonable. I actually lost a lot of weight about a year ago, and I recently put almost all of it back on. When I lost it, it felt GREAT that people noticed. I "ate" up every positive comment, enjoyed every "you're doing so great," etc.

    Sometimes, I wish I'd been more private about it the first time. Because, now I feel like I let a lot of people down - not just myself. I moved away for my husband's job, and was afraid to see some of my friends from back home because I felt like they'd be super disappointed in me because I'd gained weight. Surely, I mean more to them than a number on a scale, right?

    Sometimes (unfortunately A LOT of times) things happen and people gain weight back. I hope you're one of the people who reaches your goal and maintains! I'm 100% rooting for you! But, I also understand that little voice in the back of your head that says "but what if I fail?" Others might try to say don't listen to it. I'll agree. Don't let it get in the way, but maybe listen to it enough so that IF you gain some (or God forbid all) of the weight back, all the positive comments you got along the way don't make you HATE yourself when you realize the numbers of the scale have slowly crept back up.

    So, eat up the positive comments, share if you want to, but don't let it become who you are. You're more than just the number on that scale, and either way - you're amazing for starting the journey toward being healthier.

    Congrats on your success so far!
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Generally I would rather not talk about it. I don't judge people who constantly post their workouts and pounds lost and before/after pics on social media...but I inwardly cringe if thinking of myself doing so. I would never feel comfortable doing that so openly and frequently. We're all different!

    One thing I have noticed, too, is that people get really touchy about their approach to weight loss versus what other people are doing. I have a pretty close friend who has lost a lot of weight and always talks about how she is starving, miserable, etc. A couple of times I've mentioned logging my food and she gets super weird about it like she thinks it's crazy or wrong. She regularly loses weight as she eats as little as possible while working out as much as possible and then she goes on a weeklong fast food spree and rapidly gains back the weight. Every time. But she thinks I am the nutty one and "must have a crazy metabolism to be eating a donut AND a sandwich in the same day and all you did was walk 7 miles?". So I'd rather not talk about this stuff at all with her!

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