We broke up :(

abalicious
abalicious Posts: 361 Member
edited September 28 in Motivation and Support
I was having a great day: awesome morning workout, great meals, class went good, and then.... me and my boyfriend broke up.

I literally don't know how to feel. I cried for about 2 hours and now I just have a numb feeling. I have a night class and don't know how I'm going to make it through without bursting into tears. Everything I look at reminds me of him. I think of him every second. It's so hard to be with someone as long as we've been together and then they're not there anymore. Right now our relationship is kind of up in the air; we definitely broke up, but neither of us are going to date (not that I would want to after spending so long with him) and we want to try things again at a later date. I just don't want to wait around for something that might not happen when I could be moving on. Maybe it's too early to be thinking about such things.

But anyways, last time I broke up with someone I went into this weird funk and didn't eat... I literally just lost my appetite and couldn't find it! I would sleep a lot and just kind of mosey through my day. That's why I'm kind of worried. I don't want to sabotage my progress. I'm on a good, strong, positive streak right now so I think I'll be okay.

I'm trying to think positive here. I know this will be good for my lifestyle change. All boyfriend ever wanted to eat was fast food- quite the contrary to my clean eating and calorie counting- and he always pressured me into eating it with him! (I could have said no, but I mean, he was paying, lol) He never wanted to do anything outside and I love exercising. It's probably too early to be thinking of these things, but, I'm confused and hurt. So it happens.

Just wanted to vent since I haven't told any of my "real life" friends or family, lol. I just can't bring myself to do it. Thanks for listening!

Replies

  • Bridge_CG
    Bridge_CG Posts: 429 Member
    I'm giving you a big old hug right now! Take time to heal, and things will get better. :)
  • Zoe678
    Zoe678 Posts: 134 Member
    We're here to support you through this! Talking about it definitely helps =) Feel free to add me.
  • sgv0918
    sgv0918 Posts: 851 Member
    I think all this thinking is good. Keep up the hard work. My husband and I were together 18yrs and he cheated and left me. After a funk it has been good for my lifestyle. I am dating i am happy. There is life out there. Head up and do go to class. It will be a good distraction and you don't want to derail your studies :)
  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
    All boyfriend ever wanted to eat was fast food- quite the contrary to my clean eating and calorie counting- and he always pressured me into eating it with him! (I could have said no, but I mean, he was paying, lol) He never wanted to do anything outside and I love exercising.

    this is exactly me and my honey...but after 5 years I have learned to deal...:grumble:

    (((hugs)))
    don't let it take over your life. You are still you with or without him, still do the things you love and apparently that is eating well and exercising...so keep at it.

    Be strong darlin, I remember feeling like "I'll die without him" about 3 or 4 different people. They're no longer in my life and I'm still here. You will be ok.
  • lilac01
    lilac01 Posts: 180 Member
    I'm so sorry.
  • destiny637
    destiny637 Posts: 79
    Time heals -- it really does. . . and it sounds like it may be good for you and YOUR goals to have a little time "off". I really hope that you start feeling better soon.
  • Dootzy1
    Dootzy1 Posts: 2,344 Member
    Sorry that you're going through such a rough time. Remember, you are worth taking care of!!!....even when you feel so crappy, making yourself exercise can release those endorphins that lift your blues.
  • jpierce8806
    jpierce8806 Posts: 44
    Big Hugs!!!!!! If you need someone to talk to I'm here. Take some time to relax. It probably wont kill you to miss class tonight and focus on you. I know I probably shouldnt say that but, I did.
  • sammys1girly
    sammys1girly Posts: 1,045 Member
    Breakups are SO hard, but being a married woman, who suffered my fair number of breakups before finding my husband, it's important to be with someone who shares similar interests and goals as you. If he wasn't gonna hang with you outside before, he sure wouldn't after you get married. Hope you can move forward and in time you won't feel so very sad.:sad:
  • DarkDiva2005
    DarkDiva2005 Posts: 140
    (((HUGS))) I know it's hard hun, I went thru a similar situation and didn't really eat for a month or so. Thankfully I had friends to help me thru it, and so do u! :) Just take it one day at a time and worry about the here and now, everything else will work itself out.
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
    Do you want a big HUG or a big TRUTH?
  • BJPCraig
    BJPCraig Posts: 417 Member
    I feel for you, abalicious. Before I met my wife, my love life was an utter shambles of false-starts, missteps, and "what the hell happened?" So I know how painful and confusing a break-up is. But I promise that it DOES get better (eventually) and you may actually be headed toward something better (like I did when I moved on to meet my wife).

    As long as you keep moving in a positive direction (like by a healthy diet and exercising) you'll not only reap the physical benefits, but you'll also be helping improve your mood (better self-image and endorphins.... good stuff!). Got my fingers crossed for you. You'll pull through this and be a stronger person (in every sense) when you come out the other side.

    Best wishes!
  • abalicious
    abalicious Posts: 361 Member
    Do you want a big HUG or a big TRUTH?

    tell me the truth!

    and thank you everyone for being so nice! It's really hard but I'm trying to stay positive. And yes, I'm going to my class tonight :) lol
  • JaycrazyRose
    JaycrazyRose Posts: 104 Member
    (((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS GIRL)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Now is the time to concentrate on you.
  • kimi131
    kimi131 Posts: 1,058 Member
    I'm right there with you, sista. My boyfriend and I broke up on Saturday and I've been having a hard time too. I also know what you mean about not telling real friends and family. I've shared a lot about our breakup on here, but I still haven't "told" facebook or the majority of our friends. I think part of me is holding on, thinking we'll get back together. We probably won't.

    MFP has been a big help through all of this. I know that sounds silly, but here's why:
    1. It gives me something to do and keeps me busy.
    2. It gives me something to think about.
    3. It's a place where I can share how I'm really feeling and get support/encouragement, while maintaining a certain level of anonymity.

    I guess those types of things would be my best advice, even though I'm right in the middle of it too. Keep yourself busy and focus your mind on other things.

    Feel free to add me. We can be sad together. :(
  • Kimrenaud
    Kimrenaud Posts: 118 Member
    I am sorry, I am giving you a big hug and some hind sight! Exercise and being true to yourself is the best key, it will reduce the sadness. Listen...... No one is worthy enough to rob you of yourself. Don't ever ever let anyone do that to you.Not ever! Your worth way more than that, trust me I know I learned the hard way with my life when dating and even my first marriage! They get over it real fast trust me. My story.... I was married and abused for 7 years no reason I just settled for the wrong man my first husband. what a waste of my young life.I am now 52 , remarried 19 years and 2 kids later. YOU are what matters, no one else will ever take care of you EXCEPT yourself. Get a hold of yourself and get tough, You need to pull yourself together,put your dancing shoes on, go have a blast! Its summer time now and trust me, he isn't gonna be sitting around crying over you! Don't be fooled! Sorry to be so forward I just wasted way too much of my precious young life crying about men who dumped me. You'll find someone who loves you more than you can imagine and don't settle for anything less! add me as a friend if you wanna chat! Kim
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
    Men may say they aren't going to date, women too but ultimately it's just a lie. Why would one person deny themselves a relationship with someone to not have the freedom to have one with someone else?

    Keep your head up, you are so very young and have a lot of time ahead of you to find the right one.
  • cklbrown
    cklbrown Posts: 4,696 Member


    MFP has been a big help through all of this. I know that sounds silly, but here's why:
    1. It gives me something to do and keeps me busy.
    2. It gives me something to think about.
    3. It's a place where I can share how I'm really feeling and get support/encouragement, while maintaining a certain level of anonymity.




    My husband recently left me. We had been together 25 years (17 of them married). I'm sure I couldn't have coped if it wasn't for MFP for all the above reasons. Everytime I wanted to pick up the phone and call him or text him I came here instead. This community has been a lifesaver for me. Things will get better. I'm pulling for you!
  • sarahttini
    sarahttini Posts: 186
    Sorry to hear!!!
  • only4me_lori
    only4me_lori Posts: 25 Member
    Well...my little cutie patootie...keep up with your healthy lifestyle and in no time you will be looking even better and he will be begging for you to come back to him....but there will be so many other fish out there wanting you...and your confidence will be higher and you will see all the possibilities out there..
  • mielikkibz
    mielikkibz Posts: 552 Member
    Men may say they aren't going to date, women too but ultimately it's just a lie. Why would one person deny themselves a relationship with someone to not have the freedom to have one with someone else?
    easy enough, don't want drama, can't trust the opposite sex, afraid to put your heart on the line again.
  • abalicious
    abalicious Posts: 361 Member
    Men may say they aren't going to date, women too but ultimately it's just a lie. Why would one person deny themselves a relationship with someone to not have the freedom to have one with someone else?
    easy enough, don't want drama, can't trust the opposite sex, afraid to put your heart on the line again.

    I actually told him its unfair for us not to date other people... I don't want to sit around and wait for a relationship to happen with him if its not. It's probably too early to be thinking about that kind of stuff, we've been broken up for about 5 hours. But what can I say, we love each other terribly.
  • gnat45
    gnat45 Posts: 833 Member
    Men may say they aren't going to date, women too but ultimately it's just a lie. Why would one person deny themselves a relationship with someone to not have the freedom to have one with someone else?
    easy enough, don't want drama, can't trust the opposite sex, afraid to put your heart on the line again.

    I actually told him its unfair for us not to date other people... I don't want to sit around and wait for a relationship to happen with him if its not. It's probably too early to be thinking about that kind of stuff, we've been broken up for about 5 hours. But what can I say, we love each other terribly.

    Good for you!
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    Hi there,

    Sorry that you're going through this. It's tough, and it sucks...no doubt! Take the time that you need to heal but try to not let this derail of the all POSITIVE things in your life, including being here and getting healthier. :flowerforyou:

    ((HUGS))
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