Nervous!! Dinner with friends tonight!!

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Sharcaz
Sharcaz Posts: 15 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So my husband and I are going to a new friend's place tonight for dinner....and I'm so nervous! I watch my calories really closely so I don't feel guilty about what I do eat. And I've been doing so well up til now and its things like this that throw me off course if I have a bad night. Or think I've had a bad night. I'm also nervous that they'll judge me if I have a smaller portion :/ and I know they've bought some wine especially which I know is packed with calories!!

Anyone in a similar situation or have any advice?? :)

Replies

  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
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    Advice: Stop stressing out about it, Enjoy your night out, log what you can but otherwise enjoy and move on. One day is a drop in the bucket. Having one night of excess is not going to undo all of your hard work. Just get back on track tomorrow.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    Agreed. Stop stressing.

    I have consistently found that, when we eat with friends, very few of them take seconds or eat significantly larger portions than I do. Never do they question how much/little I eat. Chances are your friends are the same and you're worrying over nothing.
  • Sharcaz
    Sharcaz Posts: 15 Member
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    Thank Ninkyou, I probably needed a good kick up the *kitten*!! ;)
  • Sharcaz
    Sharcaz Posts: 15 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    I have consistently found that, when we eat with friends, very few of them take seconds or eat significantly larger portions than I do. Never do they question how much/little I eat. Chances are your friends are the same and you're worrying over nothing.

    Thanks jemhh :) you're probably right!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Just say that you don't drink. I've passed on wine every single time for the last 2 years and it's never been a problem at all.

    Also yeah, take smaller portions, and EAT SLOWLY. That way you won't be the first person done with your plate and nobody will notice.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Ninkyou wrote: »
    Advice: Stop stressing out about it, Enjoy your night out, log what you can but otherwise enjoy and move on. One day is a drop in the bucket. Having one night of excess is not going to undo all of your hard work. Just get back on track tomorrow.

    This.
  • cthakkar1985
    cthakkar1985 Posts: 137 Member
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    When you are pressured to eat, just say say you're full and decline. You've also got to sell it - rub your belly a few times and make sort of a grunting noise to really get your point across that you can't eat anymore.
  • Trump2016
    Trump2016 Posts: 80 Member
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    For anyone reading this thread who is in the minority and actually likes accounting for over-indulgences, just overestimate how much you over-ate and plan the following week out according to that.

    So if you ate 800 extra cals, take it as 1000 for the sake of certainty. 1000/7 = ~143. Eat 143 fewer calories than you normally would for the next seven days, which is practically nothing. Effortless.
  • cassique
    cassique Posts: 164 Member
    edited January 2016
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    Trump2016 wrote: »
    For anyone reading this thread who is in the minority and actually likes accounting for over-indulgences, just overestimate how much you over-ate and plan the following week out according to that.

    So if you ate 800 extra cals, take it as 1000 for the sake of certainty. 1000/7 = ~143. Eat 143 fewer calories than you normally would for the next seven days, which is practically nothing. Effortless.

    This! Watching our calorie intake shouldn't mean sacrifice. It means making smart choices that fit within our lives. If I have a social outing that includes eating food that might be hard to track, I don't worry about it. I log as best I can, overestimate for cushion, and let that be an indulgence. I found my best success in weight loss is taking over eating out of my regular routine, but continuing to allow for special occasion eating that will take me over. Having one day that ends up being 1000 calories over budget just means that I can: 1) tighten up my calorie intake in the days before or after the event to make up for the increase. 2) Exercise a little more to make up for the increase. 3) accept that my weight loss might not be as significant for that week. In the grand scheme of things it isn't going to make too much of a difference.

    I noticed from tracking my data, and having success with weight loss--but occasionally struggling with maintenance--it is the daily habits that make the biggest impact on our weight--not the occasional indulgences. And if you feel like you have to deprive yourself of things that brought your joy, you will have trouble sticking to your plan. Work it into your plan instead.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    relax. go have fun.

    its one meal.
  • Tobysgirl212
    Tobysgirl212 Posts: 27 Member
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    It's ok, I'm the same way too since I'm relatively new to this. What I did was tracked as I went, like whenever I went to the restroom, which was often since I drank a lot of Pelegrino. It kept me from overindulging out of sheer nervousness. I added a cushion and the evening was a success. Also, even though I ate much less than everyone, I was pleasantly surprised that no one noticed or cared. These are friends, you know!
  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
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    Op try not to stress so much about a fun social event. The changes you're making, to lose weight, get healthier, you need to look at them as a lifestyle change, not a drastic, temporary fix. Part of life includes dinner with friends, birthdays, holidays, restaurant meals and other social occasions that include food and wine. I know you are worried you will derail your progress but one night will not undo your work. It's possible to eat good food, drink wine, have dessert, and still lose weight. Thinking that's impossible is why so many people give up or never get started in the first place.

    Strategies for tonight:
    Eat a bit lighter today

    Exercise to earn some extra calories

    Prioritize what you want to enjoy tonight. Really want wine? 1 glass is about 125 calories. 2 is 250. Have the wine and eat more of the salad, protein, etc and forgo the appetizers. Or if the dessert looks amazing then eat lighter during the meal to save room for that.

    Bring a calorie friendly option to share, like a veggie tray that you can contribute and enjoy but not feel like you're blowing your day.

    In the future, bank some calories in the days leading up to something like this. If you eat 100 less during the week then that gives you 500 extra cals to work with on Saturday night, for wine or dessert or whatever.

    Also remember that depending on what you have MFP set up at for your goal, you probably have a 500 cal deficit built into your daily goal. That means even if you eat an extra 2000 calorie tonight (which is unlikely), you are still in a deficit for the week.

    Lastly, be realistic and expect to see a temporary increase on the scale if you weigh in the next couple of days from water retention due to higher sodium or carbs than you normally consume. It's temporary and will be gone in a few days, nothing to stress about.

    Enjoy!
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,381 Member
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    +1 to "relax & enjoy". IMO, the weight loss process should be an opportunity to learn how to eat forever, and there's no way I'm giving up all celebrations and indulgences forever.

    @WinoGelato has great suggestions. As another option, you can simply go over a bit, and accept a (typically short) delay in achieving your final goal weight. As long as things like that happen rarely, you'll be fine. It's not worth stressing about.

    If you log (by estimating, probably), and you do go over goal, you can even estimate what the delay is, as part of deciding what (if anything) to do about it. I wrote a post about that process here: Is This How You Think About Over-Goal Days?
  • Sharcaz
    Sharcaz Posts: 15 Member
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    Thanks so much every one for replying... You've all had some really helpful advice and suggestions...and ways to cope in future :) I also feel a lot less silly knowing I'm not the only one feeling this way about an evening out!

    Fyi it went well, i ate slowly so everyone had seconds and I didn't as I still had food left. I think I enjoyed it a lot more too rather than shovelling it in until I could barely move! Had 1 glass of wine then asked for a small plate of dessert. I've logged on MFP and I'm only +100cal over and thts over estimating too so feeling good.

    Won't be so nervous in future, thank you again everyone :):)
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
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    Sharcaz wrote: »
    Thanks so much every one for replying... You've all had some really helpful advice and suggestions...and ways to cope in future :) I also feel a lot less silly knowing I'm not the only one feeling this way about an evening out!

    Fyi it went well, i ate slowly so everyone had seconds and I didn't as I still had food left. I think I enjoyed it a lot more too rather than shovelling it in until I could barely move! Had 1 glass of wine then asked for a small plate of dessert. I've logged on MFP and I'm only +100cal over and thts over estimating too so feeling good.

    Won't be so nervous in future, thank you again everyone :):)

    Great job! Use this as a learning experience too. In the future you'll feel alot less stressed out about these things. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
  • macgurlnet
    macgurlnet Posts: 1,946 Member
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    Sharcaz wrote: »
    Thanks so much every one for replying... You've all had some really helpful advice and suggestions...and ways to cope in future :) I also feel a lot less silly knowing I'm not the only one feeling this way about an evening out!

    Fyi it went well, i ate slowly so everyone had seconds and I didn't as I still had food left. I think I enjoyed it a lot more too rather than shovelling it in until I could barely move! Had 1 glass of wine then asked for a small plate of dessert. I've logged on MFP and I'm only +100cal over and thts over estimating too so feeling good.

    Won't be so nervous in future, thank you again everyone :):)

    See, it wasn't half as bad as you thought it would be! And I would bet you had more fun since you didn't feel like your stomach might pop ;)

    Well done! Keep getting it :)

    ~Lyssa

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