Feeling so down and lost.

tmarple93 · January 2016

Hello, I've been trying to lose about 15 pounds for a long time now. It's been really hard for me and I just can't seem to do it.

My fiance travels for work and I only get to see him a couple weeks every couple months. While he's gone I do well and eat right and work out but once he's home I get so wrapped up in just wanting to spend time with him and enjoy the time, my diet goes out the window and any progress I've made I lose it. I also suffer from IBS and have been getting frequent flare ups recently. I think it has a lot to do with stress.

Ever since the holidays started (Thanksgiving) I've just been in a downward spiral. I can't seem to stick to a exercise schedule and my diet has been very poor. I've only gained about 5 pounds but I'm not really overweight or anything so 5 pounds on my body makes a big difference. My pants barely fit and I'm bloated like crazy from my IBS and diet choices.

I try so hard during the day and am very aware of my food choices until about an hour before bed and then I just can't stop eating. I don't know if it's an emotional thing or what but I can't help it and then I just end up really sad and upset and I just feel like I'm never ever gonna be able to lose these last couple pounds and be happy with my body.

I don't know what to do anymore. I try so hard not to snack at night but I can't stop thinking about food and just end up eating.

Anybody going through this too? Or has overcome this that can share some advice?

Jozzmenia · January 2016

What is the problem when he comes home, is it that you eat out too much or that he or you are cooking unhealthy items? One solution is to eat off a smaller plate like a saucer at home, which you can generally fit all of your necessary portion sizes on a smaller plate. and ordering healthy at a restaurant isn't just about salad with dressing on side. u can order lean meats like salmon and get two veggies instead of the potato option. I also had a trainer suggest ordering double meat and extra vegetables in certain dishes. I do that when I order, like thai food for example. I get full without finishing the whole thing and still get protein and veggies. It's not going to be perfect, but you can do better.

If you just can't resist eating at night it's better to keep only healthy snacks handy. I had to get rid of cookies and chips and keep chobani greek yogurt with fruit on the bottom, or the key lime pie ones with little bites on the side, or quest bars, or fruit, or celery and peanut butter, or cocoa roast almonds... things that aren't so horrible for me to snack on because I'm a night owl and like to snack while I'm working unfortunately.

Drink a huge glass of water in the morning, and also before you grab your evening snack...

tmarple93 · January 2016

Thanks. And yeah when he's home we tend to have dinner at his parents house or my parents and its usually pasta or pizza or something really carb heavy. Plus we eat out and go out on the weekends. It's hard to tell his family I can't have a lot of what there serving without them getting offended. And when we go out I try to only have one or two beers and leave calories aside for it but its hard when your the only one not drinking and your getting asked why you won't have a drink. As for snacking at night Ive been trying to only have healthier things it's just hard for me to stop. Like instead of of having just some yogurt I'll have that plus something else. When I log everything I just end up going way over in calories. I just have no will power at night. I really need to work on it. It's just the thing I struggle with the most. It's been extra difficult lately becuase I've just been really stressed out and upset alot lately.

Jozzmenia · January 2016

Well since you're merging families soon, you should discuss this with him. If they're not going to change the entire menu, at least maybe they can have SOMETHING healthy, or he can tell them in advance you're on a diet (they'll probably assume you're trying to lose for the wedding anyway) and are watching your portions, so they'll be prepped for you to get a smaller plate. Also, if you're trying to improve your lifestyle, you should get him on board with that too. And seek out restaurants that have healthy options in advance, scope out the menu and make reservations, or else have a healthy full meal all ready when he gets home. Also, it helps be to log the food BEFORE I eat it. If I see that it is going to totally tank my goals for the day, or in some cases week lol, I'm more inclined to pass. Can't remember the last time I ordered chicken alfredo or mac and cheese at a restaurant, or even dessert for that matter unless I was sharing.

Goatsmith · January 2016

Cutting out snacking is hard, but maybe what helps for me will help for you:

My roommates and I are all big foodies, and one of us is /always/ cooking, and I also work with food all day so the temptation to snack is intense. It's extremely hard to not overeat, so I budget time about an hour or so after dinner. Half an hour to work off as much of my calorie over-run as I can. It sounds really tedious, but it's a pretty easy thing to work in. Eat, clean up, relax a while, then go to "work". Perhaps even involve your fiance in it somehow. After dinner and your guts are all settled and stuff, go for a walk together in your neighborhood or at your parents neighborhood.

When I think I;m in the mood for a snack, I find /something/ exercise to do. I can't do that at work, but it offsets the late night snacking (or in my case, the late night beer). Even if I'm not working off the snack in its entirety (it's difficult to out-exercise snacking), it starts to create a mentality of "I need to pay for this with exercise". I put in time on my treadmill to pay off beer, but anything is a start. Same goes for being weak in willpower. Set up, if not a routine (I hate routine with a passion), a goal-and-deadline system. "I have this much time to work off this much", like I just got off said treadmill after 40 minutes (I had half an hour, but once I was into it said "hey, I can do more, let's keep going".

And that's really the thing to it in and of itself...thinking positive "I /can/ do this. Hey, I'm /already/ doing X, Y and Z, why not do 1 and 2 while I;m here?". Same for the food, "I'm doing pretty good today, I'm going to do the same tomorrow but better". Think positives and affirmatives, "i can" and "I'm going to", instead of "I can't". It's a HUGE boost to willpower.

tmarple93 · January 2016

Thank you so much! That actually helps a ton.

pstegman888 · January 2016

I am a late-night snacker, so I just go a little easier during the day and leave calories available in the evening. Popcorn is great 'cause it's filling & not too calorific if I don't put additional butter on it. Also, can you "bank" some extra calories while he is away, and spend them when he is home? You don't need to avoid carbs, just have reasonable portions. If I know I am going to have a carb-heavy day, I try to balance it out by boosting my proteins/veggies/salads for a day or two before or after. My weekly nutrition is then on goal, even if my daily numbers are out of whack. As for his family maybe pushing food/drink on you, try to take a light-hearted approach, like "come on, now, you guys, I have wedding pictures to think about, gotta cut back a little, I want to look good for your son's big day!" Ultimately getting him supporting a healthy lifestyle will be a big help! Wish you the best.

tmarple93 · January 2016

Thank you! I've never thought about banking my calories or saving them up! I'll have to try that out.

Feeling so down and lost.

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