How to deal with a messy housemate

thebutteredtoast
thebutteredtoast Posts: 141
edited September 2024 in Chit-Chat
I live with my cousin who enjoys leaving his dirty clothes, towels, boxers, etc all over the house, on the table, on the bathroom floor, on the couch and doesn't do his dishes! Just piles them in the sink until they overflow instead of using the dishwasher to load everything in.

Personally I was raised to clean up after myself and I use a hamper and fill the dishwasher up as I use a dish. I have no idea how to deal with him and it's starting to get on my last nerves. Any suggestions?

Replies

  • poesch77
    poesch77 Posts: 1,005 Member
    Hahaha! I had this my sophmore year in college!! My bestie and I moved in with this friend of a friend not knowing what we got ourselves into! Spoiled and absolute pig!! She would never do her dishes and we would get fruitflies.....it was so gross!! So one day after telling her repeatedly she needed to get on it....we boxed up her moldy-*kitten* dishes and stuck them in her bedroom!! And that never happened again...she bought ppr plates!! Start chucking the ole roomies "crap" into thier room...they will get the point eventually!!


    Good luck!
  • MDLNH
    MDLNH Posts: 587 Member
    Are you in a position to tell your cousin to clean-up his "stuff" and contribute to the cleaning duties around the house OR if he can't or doesn't want to that he has to move out ??

    If you're not, I would suggest a good old fashioned "heart-to-heart" talk w/ him - let him know what he needs to do . . .

    Good Luck !!!!
  • thebutteredtoast
    thebutteredtoast Posts: 141
    i've tried telling him to clean up after himself and he does it for a day or two then he has friends over and expects me to play maid for him. i can't really kick him out seeing how it's his parents summer home we're living in since we're both down south for college. i've talked to his parents about it and they've talked to him about it and he just doesn't listen. the only time he actually cleans up is if his parents are coming down to visit. i'm tired of cleaning up after him all the time but i hate the house looking like a junkyard because him and his buddies can't clean up.
  • TashaP2011
    TashaP2011 Posts: 142 Member
    I have three little messy housemates - my kids. I don't know about the dishes, but I got each of the kids a bin with their names on it, and when they leave stuff around the house, I just put it in the bin. My kids are expected to empty their bins out and put their stuff away, which might be hard with the roommate. At least it will get it out of your way, without having to clean it up for them. If it gets too full, you could either dump it in his/her room and move on.
    Good luck to you.
  • thebutteredtoast
    thebutteredtoast Posts: 141
    Hahaha! I had this my sophmore year in college!! My bestie and I moved in with this friend of a friend not knowing what we got ourselves into! Spoiled and absolute pig!! She would never do her dishes and we would get fruitflies.....it was so gross!! So one day after telling her repeatedly she needed to get on it....we boxed up her moldy-*kitten* dishes and stuck them in her bedroom!! And that never happened again...she bought ppr plates!! Start chucking the ole roomies "crap" into thier room...they will get the point eventually!!


    Good luck!

    haha! i've thought about doing that. i have taken all his dirty clothes from around the house and have tossed them on his unmade bed. he didn't even say anything or change how he acted!
  • stang_girl88
    stang_girl88 Posts: 234 Member
    I had a friend who had a roommate who did the same thing. I am not sure if you would be able to do this, some may say it is mean, but here goes. His solution was pile everything and put it outside the front door with a sign saying 'so and so's mess, I am not a maid!'-except dirty dishes, those went in his bed-under the covers lol. It didnt take long for him to get the hint. Not sure if you could pull it off, especially if you are in an apartment lol.
  • thebutteredtoast
    thebutteredtoast Posts: 141
    I had a friend who had a roommate who did the same thing. I am not sure if you would be able to do this, some may say it is mean, but here goes. His solution was pile everything and put it outside the front door with a sign saying 'so and so's mess, I am not a maid!'-except dirty dishes, those went in his bed-under the covers lol. It didnt take long for him to get the hint. Not sure if you could pull it off, especially if you are in an apartment lol.

    haha! we're in a three bedroom house so that wouldn't be a problem. he also enjoys eating the food i buy for myself -_-
  • thedreamhazer
    thedreamhazer Posts: 1,156 Member
    When you figure out the answer to this one, let me know!

    I'm going crazy at my place with the same issues. Although, we don't have a dishwasher. The idea of having dishes piled up with a dishwasher right there astounds me....

    Besides talking to them, I don't know. Boxing the things up might work since he's your cousin, but it can BACKFIRE. Just be sure you're above reprimand if you do it! I lived in a special interest house in college with what was supposed to be 8 others, although it was more like 12 since everyone's SO was living with them. The dishes were a constant struggle. As the house manager, I created chore sheets, sent out weekly reminders, held house meeting weekly and discussed the issues, set out plans to get things on track --- it never worked. So I just quietly did the dishes and cleaning myself with the help of a couple other nice/doormat-y housemates.

    One of the worst fights to ever happen (in the VERY tumultuous house) was brought on by a less doormat-y house mate and her SO. No one really liked them since they were constantly voicing opinions about how people not being vegan was condoning the torture and murder of sentient beings and generally making everyone feel like crap. (Most tumultuous fight was over the use of the word "guys" to refer to all genders instead of just men.... but that's another story for another time). Anyway, this girl and her SO packed up all the dirty dishes in a box, set them in the living room, and left for the weekend.

    Everyone was furious, because these two CONSTANTLY shirked their chores. They never cooked when they were supposed to, and when they did cook (usually just for themselves, even though we all ate together as a house) they left their dishes for DAYS until someone else cleaned them. I remember they made pumpkin pancakes one week on a Sunday. I decided I wasn't cleaning the mixing bowl. It sat on the counter for two weeks before I gave in.

    ANYWAY, long story short: only resort to the boxing if you knwo you're above reprimand. If you're at all a dirty dish culprit -- expect it to backfire!
  • thebutteredtoast
    thebutteredtoast Posts: 141
    When you figure out the answer to this one, let me know!

    I'm going crazy at my place with the same issues. Although, we don't have a dishwasher. The idea of having dishes piled up with a dishwasher right there astounds me....

    Besides talking to them, I don't know. Boxing the things up might work since he's your cousin, but it can BACKFIRE. Just be sure you're above reprimand if you do it! I lived in a special interest house in college with what was supposed to be 8 others, although it was more like 12 since everyone's SO was living with them. The dishes were a constant struggle. As the house manager, I created chore sheets, sent out weekly reminders, held house meeting weekly and discussed the issues, set out plans to get things on track --- it never worked. So I just quietly did the dishes and cleaning myself with the help of a couple other nice/doormat-y housemates.

    One of the worst fights to ever happen (in the VERY tumultuous house) was brought on by a less doormat-y house mate and her SO. No one really liked them since they were constantly voicing opinions about how people not being vegan was condoning the torture and murder of sentient beings and generally making everyone feel like crap. (Most tumultuous fight was over the use of the word "guys" to refer to all genders instead of just men.... but that's another story for another time). Anyway, this girl and her SO packed up all the dirty dishes in a box, set them in the living room, and left for the weekend.

    Everyone was furious, because these two CONSTANTLY shirked their chores. They never cooked when they were supposed to, and when they did cook (usually just for themselves, even though we all ate together as a house) they left their dishes for DAYS until someone else cleaned them. I remember they made pumpkin pancakes one week on a Sunday. I decided I wasn't cleaning the mixing bowl. It sat on the counter for two weeks before I gave in.

    ANYWAY, long story short: only resort to the boxing if you knwo you're above reprimand. If you're at all a dirty dish culprit -- expect it to backfire!

    It amazes me how people can live like that and feel comfortable. If I ever left dirty dishes in the sink growing up my mom would have ripped me a new *kitten*. I grew up with a perfectionist of a mom so cleaning comes second nature to me but cleaning up after him is a pain. I did the dishes back when he first came down here last month because he wasn't feeling well and he expects me to do them all the time. He even went as far as to come in my room and ask me when his wash was going to be done.
  • Liatush
    Liatush Posts: 627 Member
    If you are sharing bills, I would just ask him to hire a cleaning lady (or have his parents hire one) to clean the house once a week... it worked with my old roomate.
  • wdwghettogirl
    wdwghettogirl Posts: 559 Member
    Every time you find one of his dirty whatevers laying around... throw it out!! He'll soon realize something's amiss when he runs out of socks and undies. :) If he has his own dishes, you could do the same thing with those, but if you share, that's a little harder. I do like the idea of boxing them all up and putting it in his room. :) As for eating your food... if he won't respect that it's yours, try labeling everything. If it still happens, maybe try eating stuff HE buys, especially something you know he really likes (or you don't even have to eat it... just make it "disappear" lol) If he's lazy and doesn't buy his own stuff, you may have to get a shelf in your room for your food. I don't know what's wrong with some people! Sorry you have to deal with it.
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  • thebutteredtoast
    thebutteredtoast Posts: 141
    If you are sharing bills, I would just ask him to hire a cleaning lady (or have his parents hire one) to clean the house once a week... it worked with my old roomate.
    unfortunately neither of us pay the bills. his parents do so i don't think it's right asking them to get a maid. >.<
    Every time you find one of his dirty whatevers laying around... throw it out!! He'll soon realize something's amiss when he runs out of socks and undies. :) If he has his own dishes, you could do the same thing with those, but if you share, that's a little harder. I do like the idea of boxing them all up and putting it in his room. :) As for eating your food... if he won't respect that it's yours, try labeling everything. If it still happens, maybe try eating stuff HE buys, especially something you know he really likes (or you don't even have to eat it... just make it "disappear" lol) If he's lazy and doesn't buy his own stuff, you may have to get a shelf in your room for your food. I don't know what's wrong with some people! Sorry you have to deal with it.

    ooo now that's a good idea. or i could just throw everything in a bag and hide it so when he gets his act together i can just give it back. xD we share all the plates and stuff though so i can't do that. i wouldn't touch the food he buys. he's a hardcore junk food eater (and never puts on a pound, grr!) he FINALLLY did the dishes today after i bugged him and reminded him his mom is coming down tomorrow but it took him at least four hours to do them and he complained the whole time.
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  • wdwghettogirl
    wdwghettogirl Posts: 559 Member
    Every time you find one of his dirty whatevers laying around... throw it out!! He'll soon realize something's amiss when he runs out of socks and undies. :) If he has his own dishes, you could do the same thing with those, but if you share, that's a little harder. I do like the idea of boxing them all up and putting it in his room. :) As for eating your food... if he won't respect that it's yours, try labeling everything. If it still happens, maybe try eating stuff HE buys, especially something you know he really likes (or you don't even have to eat it... just make it "disappear" lol) If he's lazy and doesn't buy his own stuff, you may have to get a shelf in your room for your food. I don't know what's wrong with some people! Sorry you have to deal with it.
    ooo now that's a good idea. or i could just throw everything in a bag and hide it so when he gets his act together i can just give it back. xD we share all the plates and stuff though so i can't do that. i wouldn't touch the food he buys. he's a hardcore junk food eater (and never puts on a pound, grr!) he FINALLLY did the dishes today after i bugged him and reminded him his mom is coming down tomorrow but it took him at least four hours to do them and he complained the whole time.

    You could collect it all in a big black garbage bag... make a game out of it! lol Might as well have some fun with it instead of letting it get to ya. For the food... just make it "disappear"... don't eat it if it's crap, but don't give him the pleasure of having it either... if he asks where his Cheetos went, you "ate" them like he ate your wheat bread. :) You might be nicer than I am... I'm kind of a mean little thing when you push my buttons hard enough. lol
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