We broke up because...
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Crazy0
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he molted0
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He always threw buckets of water on me expecting me to melt! What a world!!!0
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She was so horny all the time I got sick of throwing iced water on her to stop her from humping my leg
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Her leg was the only thing she would let me hump0
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He went around humping all my friends legs.0
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Hump day never arrived0
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He was always looking forward to some spacial day0
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Had cold feet!0
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No days were ever special0
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Forgot my birthday and our anniversary.0
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He thought I forgot but really he didn't appreciate the gifts0
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Loved the duck more than me0
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Always showing up for our dates dressed like a Vulture0
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She was always circling me, especially when I slept... It got weird.0
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She didn't like the way I dressed0
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She kept stealing my hats0
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I looked better in hats than he did.0
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I wasn't allowed to show my hair. Always hats was the rule0
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Her love for hair made gave me depression0
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He got depressed when he missed a football game0
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She liked football and I didn't.0
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He got upset I used up all the orange juice0
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she wouldn't go to the store for me0
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He wanted me to buy him adult toys!
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Left to the store and never came back0
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I checked her internet search history 0
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He was too damn nosy for his own good.0
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she said my nose was too big0
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