All Alone!

MaukaLover
MaukaLover Posts: 1 Member
in Getting Started
I wish I had a partner in this journey. My husband of 22 years runs every day (I hate running) eats what he wants and doesn't gain weight. So annoying! Any thoughts on how to find an accountability partner?

Replies

  • Jadedlily83
    Jadedlily83 Posts: 19 Member
    I know exactly how you feel! My husband of 10 years is kind of an enabler so I've had a horrible time losing weight. Feel free to add me, I'm new too.
  • deberahjane
    deberahjane Posts: 1 Member
    Hi, I'm new and by the sounds of it I'm lucky I don't have a husband
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I have a husband. He has no impact on my weight loss.
  • GsKiki
    GsKiki Posts: 392 Member
    Your husband eats what he wants because he runs every day. He burns more calories than what he eats, and never has excess.
    If you think your diet is not healthy, and would like to improve it, I would advise to talk to him and agree on the middle ground.
    There is no need to be frustrated by him, and you could still make him your accountability buddy. You don't have to run, just find an activity you enjoy. Then you can both share your experience at the end of the day, and push each other to do better, each in their own way.
  • acorsaut89
    acorsaut89 Posts: 1,147 Member
    Yourself.

    The single most important person you need to be accountable to is yourself. What if, god forbid, your husband was no longer a part of your life - for any reason, but let's hope that never happens. You need to do this for you, by yourself. It's definitely helpful sometimes to have someone to talk to about things . . . like what kinds of snacks they make, when do they find the best time to work out, how do they stay motivated, etc etc. But if you can't be accountable to yourself, what happens when that accountability partner isn't there any more either?

    If you can do this for yourself, I'm sure you and your husband can find some common ground - like sure, you don't like to run, but maybe on his cross training days you guys could work out together or meal prep together, or whatever. The point is that you need to do this for you.

    It sounds bad but it's like I always say to my friends (men and women) who are giving up their careers to be stay at home parents: it's great that you're doing this for the greater good of your family (either emotionally or financially) but remember, you need to make sure that should something happen you have enough to fall back on to stand on your own two feet again.

    Don't rely on someone else to make you do what you need to do or your own life. It's really great to have a friend or two to talk to and encourage each other but be accountable to yourself.
  • socajam
    socajam Posts: 2,530 Member
    acorsaut89: I endorse everything that you wrote. I also tell parents, God or whoever made us, does not promise that you will see your child/children grow up, that's why it is so important to raise an independent child/children just in case something where to happen. Yes, love them, but bear in mind that no one will love them as much as you do.
  • WendyLaubach
    WendyLaubach Posts: 518 Member
    My husband says kind and encouraging things about my weight loss, but I've never felt anything close to accountable to him, thank Heaven! That sounds like an awful component to a romantic relationship. For whatever reason, he's always seemed genuinely indifferent to my weight. If I thought he was nagging me or something, I would almost certainly rebel. Who needs it? This is my responsibility. On the other hand, I do really enjoy having friends here who are going through the same thing and encourage me. They don't motivate me, of course, but they notice when I'm on the right track and give me an attagirl. We help each other out of destructive mindsets sometimes.

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