bikini blues...<sigh>

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chanstriste13
chanstriste13 Posts: 3,277 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
i have never shown my stomach to the world, and today for some random reason, i felt like i wanted to. my husband and i were going to lay out anyways to practice getting some sun so we don't get burned up at the beach next week, and i decided to put on a sports bra and short workout shorts. nothing racy by any means, but for me, it was a *huge* deal to do this.

so after wallowing in the sunshine and enjoying it for a while, i get to thinking, 'why can't i do this at the beach too? i'm practically wearing a two-piece!'

i'm on top of the world as i drag my husband to dillards to look for a bikini, find one and buy one. i should feel totally triumphant, right?

when i get back home to try it on now that it's 'mine', all i feel is gross and sad and completely disillusioned. i don't understand how i felt so good, and crashed and burned so quickly. for me to even consider wearing a two-piece swimsuit is an amazing milestone for me. to actually try them on and purchase one...i mean, who would have thought? i've *never* worn a two-piece.

but now i'm sitting here feeling stupid and fat. so sad right now - i'm not sure what happened... <sigh>

Replies

  • lbetancourt
    lbetancourt Posts: 522 Member
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    awwh.. honey.. sorry you are feeling down about the dumb bikini. i know how that feels. i don't know why we torture ourselves over those two silly pieces of material! Just keep your chin up.. you will get there. Just remember how far you have come.

    cheers!
  • JeffGDDG
    JeffGDDG Posts: 252 Member
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    We are almost always are own worst critics. Think of what you would say to a friend in the same situation. I'm sure you'd be encouraging and supportive. Listen to your positive self. You've done a great job! Congratulations! :-)
  • mtbikes
    mtbikes Posts: 2
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    You go girl!

    It is a process. Two steps forward, one step back. before you rush off and return the bikini, take stock of your acheivements to date. How much progress have you made, and how do you feel about that? In a few days, think about trying it on again and lay out a while.

    Honestly, I don't think it is about what you look like, but what you feel like. When you feel attractive and successful, you will look radiant and desirable.

    You can do it - you can get into that frame of mind!
  • Emily4H
    Emily4H Posts: 170
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    you have lost 30 pounds - thats awesome! Dont be sad, dont over think it, just be proud of your self! Maybe listen to the "bikini buying" voice more - its telling you the truth!
  • Unbreakable360
    Unbreakable360 Posts: 127
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    ...c'mon now...I think you are over thinking way too much....nothing has changed from the way that you felt before to the time that you bought the bikini...so you should still have that confidence now...it is simply your mind playing tricks on you and letting you move forward...
  • Unbreakable360
    Unbreakable360 Posts: 127
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    ...c'mon now...I think you are over thinking way too much....nothing has changed from the way that you felt before to the time that you bought the bikini...so you should still have that confidence now...it is simply your mind playing tricks on you and letting you move forward...
  • chanstriste13
    chanstriste13 Posts: 3,277 Member
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    :flowerforyou:

    thanks to each of you - my mind is a total sand pit of bad vibes sometimes, and it's hard to overcome. i *so* appreciate your encouragement! thank you!

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