I'm back as a hopeless wreck . . .

toomanycurves · February 2016

I've gained about 35 pounds since I last signed on. I'm a Ph.D. living in NYC. I adopted a foundling who had been left on the street about 17 years ago. Because the identity of my daughter's birth parents is unknown, I was unaware that she carried genes for severe mental illness. I've gone about a half million into debt trying to provide care for her. I work seven days each week to handle these expenses. I know that I'm eating to address my anxiety and drinking (NO I'm not an alcoholic!) and that my depression and orthopaedic (as well as other problems) are impeding my drive to exercise. I should also note that almost all of my weight has settled on my tummy and despite my age (mid-sixties) people who don't know me well ask when the baby is due! I avoid socializing with friends because of the shocked look I get when people who do know me first see me. Because I don't exercise, I'm getting more and more depressed. Can anyone relate to what I say? I would like to meet a few upbeat, smart people, middle aged or older, who can understand what I'm saying (I know that I'm not being too eloquent) who won't tell me to pray. Thank you and good luck on your own journeys.

toomanycurves · February 2016

It's probably not important but the photo that accompanied my previous post is not me. I'm not sure who or what it is.

luluinca · February 2016

I'm just going to be honest with you here..........I'm 65 and have turned my health and fitness around in the last 2.5 years.

We all have issues, physical and emotional at our age, but you can turn it around if you really want to with some hard work and sacrifice.

You need to stop making excuses and eat healthy and exercise. If you want to get rid of that tummy, lose fat and begin a strength training program.

If you want support find friends and groups (challenges) with the same goals.

If I haven't been too mean you can always add me as a friend and I'll try to inspire you with my journey and encourage you on your own!

toomanycurves · February 2016

You are right that I shouldn't make excuses but I'm not. My daughter is sick, my husband has had a horrific heart attack and the buck stops with me. I have no family other than those I support.

toomanycurves · February 2016

Lululinca, I added you as a friend.

sunnybeaches105 · February 2016

Sometimes life can feel like triage, OP, you need help with your child and you need time to focus on you. Feel free to add me.

mykrisnmiss · February 2016

i am almost 30 and want to loose some of my extra weight. cant believe i'm this big. but my dr says i have (OA) in my knees and that if i dont do something soon i'll need knee replacements. my knees have been bothering me so much so i decided to chart my food, and try the gel injections. i am also friends with a woman in her 50's who's partenered up with me on weight loss. she is trying a diet to restart her metabolism. from what i gather its no carb, high protein, no spices or added flavoring and little sugar. not sure if it helps, but thought it was worth mentioning. shes lost 3lbs in a week.

foreverslim1111 · February 2016

Bless you for taking in a lost, abandoned child. The Affordable Care Act was written so that people (like your daughter) can not be rejected for pre-existing conditions. Most of her care should be covered, now, under that. You seem to have a lot of insight into the causes of your weight/fitness problems so likely the solutions will have to come from you. Most people that I know have had to overcome challenges in order to lose weight and become more fit. Your not different - but your challenge might be tougher.

It's not impossible to lose inches in your waist. I made it one of my main goals when I joined MFP two years ago and since then, I've lost 22lbs and 5" in my waist. It takes time and perseverance. You can do this if you want it enough. You are worth it. Set up your MFP account, pay attention to the calorie goals it sets for you, get yourself a good food scale and log your meals here. Set some time apart for yourself so that you can get some sort of exercise/movement going. Start slow with small changes going for both eating and exercise. Most important don't ever give up. These things have helped me be very successful with MFP and they can help you too. God bless you and I wish the best for you.

jenmovies · February 2016

Firstly, what a noble thing you're doing looking after someone in such need. Women like you often neglect themselves, because they are putting others first. There are a lot of things to unpack here, and I can't begin to assist you with most of it. What I can do is tell you that unless you address some of the underlying causes of your problems, you won't succeed in your weight loss and fitness goals.

I'm wondering if it would be beneficial for you to use your connections to chat with a counsellor to help you make a plan to get back to looking after yourself? That would be a positive start. I think also a physical check up would help you including blood tests to make sure your distended stomach is not being caused by something else. I read recently about a woman around your age who was also repeatedly asked if she was pregnant, and it turned out to be a benign tumour on one of her organs. Once removed, she was able to regulate her weight properly and the size of her abdomen greatly decreased. Another friend of mine had weight gain caused by PCOS, another had thyroid issues.

Anyway, if you do want to jump in to MFP, here is a great place to start: Helpful topics

If you log everything you're doing, even if it sucks, it tends to be a wake up call for the first week. Just start slowly and have everything in moderation. Try to replace the bad habits with good and remove anything from your home that you will binge eat. Meal prep is awesome if you can do it because you are pre-portioning your food with less temptation to over eat. Try snacking on low-cal things like cucumber slices and hummus (or whatever you enjoy that is similar).

With exercise, what do you like doing? What do you have time to do? Walking and body weight exercises are free. Jump rope is FANTASTIC. Can you put any walking into your daily routine? Routine is a big word for this journey. It will eliminate a lot of the thinking, the 'why me' or the 'this sucks'. You just get it done.

Feel free to add me as a friend! The number one thing to change is just your attitude. You WILL succeed. You DO have time. You WON'T give up. You are in control.

Best of luck!

arditarose · February 2016

Hi OP, I'm in NYC too

Feel free to add.

jenmovies · February 2016

Also, here is a wonderful daily forum that helps me a lot! http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1275030/whats-your-most-recent-nsv#latest

foreverslim1111 · February 2016

Feel free to add me if you like!

toomanycurves · February 2016

Thanks to everyone for the friendship offers. They mean a lot.

staringatthesun · February 2016

You are an incredible person. Our world needs more people like you. I just want to throw out there my experience as being the daughter with severe mental
illness whose parents have spent a LOT of money on her in the last 10 years and whose parents have gone into a lot of debt. I just want you to know that there is hope. This is the happiest and most functional I've been in the last 10 years. I am so grateful I have the parents that I do, who have put so much of themselves into me and given me this amazing opportunity to have a LIFE. And I know for my mother that one of the absolutely essential ways that she has gotten through these last 10 years has been through fitness. It's really rescued her while she has rescued me! You've got this, I promise. Put just a sliver of your energy into yourself while going through this horrible seemingly endless storm, and suddenly it will all be manageable. And to top things off, your hard work can become an inspiration for your daughter to work hard too.

I'm back as a hopeless wreck . . .

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