This has nothing to do with MFP But PLEASE give me advice!

Lizshouse88
Lizshouse88 Posts: 81
edited September 2024 in Chit-Chat
First off let me say I have lived here going on 10 months and this neighbor of mine hasn't been around (like not even living there) until about a month ago. I live in townhouses and she's RIGHT next to me.

Anyway, this girl KEEPS coming over to ask for cigarettes. EVERY day she comes over here. I have never even given her any. Every time I tell her I dont have any or i'm almost out. I guess she thinks if she comes back later I will have gone and bought some. One day she even asked if I was going to the store soon and if I could buy her a pack and let her pay me back later after someone gets there that she can borrow money from. Obviously I said no.

At one point she came over asking for diapers for her negligent friend's 2 year old son. They party 24/7 and I guess she just didnt think about her kid (aka bring diapers). I did give her >A< diaper just because I dont want to punish the child for his mom and her friend's stupidity.

HOW THE HELL DO I HANDLE THIS??? I don't want to start **** with her because she lives RIGHT there. I dont want to piss her off because she's the type to go around and talk **** about me to the whole county if I do. Tonight I just didn't answer the door when they came over (yeah, she's sending her friend over to ask me now). What should I do?? This hoe has asked me for money, cigarettes, diapers. Who knows what's next!

Replies

  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    I would ignore her. If you stop answering the door, maybe she'll get the hint. She hasn't gotten the hint when you say "No, I don't have any" - so now it is time to just pretend like she isn't at the door.

    If she has the guts to say something to you if she sees you out - I would say "I have a lot going on with my kids right now and don't have time to chit chat. Nice to see you. Bye" and walk away from her. You aren't being rude, but you aren't encouraging her either.
  • abalicious
    abalicious Posts: 361 Member
    Um wow... free loader!!! :explode: the next time she asks for something you should say something like, "I really don't have enough money to buy *whatever* for myself, I'm sorry. Maybe *next door neighbor's name* has some?" If it was me I would be flat out mean and call her out lol
  • Jessamin
    Jessamin Posts: 338 Member
    How obnoxious.

    I think I would concisely and frankly, but without being unnecessarily rude, tell her and her friends that you will not give them anything as you have plenty of your own responsibilities to take care of and that she should stop asking.
  • withchaco
    withchaco Posts: 1,026 Member
    What the HELL? Wow... Does she bug just you, or is she bugging the whole neighborhood too?
  • ritaadkins2002
    ritaadkins2002 Posts: 371 Member
    don't answer the door maybe she will get the picture or explain to her u just can't give her stuff (tell her your havingmoney troubles even if u are not) and u would help her if u could. just tell her your sorry and tell her u hope she understands this. hope it helps; but some people doesn't want to take responsiblities and this might be the case.
  • HolleeERL
    HolleeERL Posts: 313 Member
    This would be hard to do, but I think you must ask her to stop coming over to ask for stuff. You don't have the money to support her habits and would appreciate her respecting some boundaries. Of course you don't want to do it in a mean way - be as nice as possible. It won't stop unless you stop it. Avoiding will do no good - just prolong it and make you a prisoner in your own home. If she says crap about you well...so what? Just ignore anything like that and move on with your life.
  • SLambertAlaska
    SLambertAlaska Posts: 197 Member
    What the HELL? Wow... Does she bug just you, or is she bugging the whole neighborhood too?

    I think it's really worth finding out the answer to this question. Talk to the other neighbors. If present a united front - all agreeing on a strategy, you probably have better chance of success.

    good luck!
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
    Id tell the free loader to get a grip! Tell her u have ur own life and cannot support hers! Deadbeats !
  • MyJourney11
    MyJourney11 Posts: 97
    Don't ignore her. next time just tell her that times are hard for everyone right now and you just can't spare the money, diapers, etc. and to please quit asking because it makes you feel bad to say no. That way maybe she won't treat you like you're just being a *****.
  • Swimgoddess
    Swimgoddess Posts: 711 Member
    Hm. Ask her if she's heard about the "make my day" law? Just make sure she's got one foot in the foyer first.
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
    Complain to the office! That's what everyone else does. :happy: She's probably not 18 and that's why she keeps asking you for cigarettes. You could call the cops also...especially if they're being noisy at odd hours of the night. Muahahahaha!
  • Meggie_pooh
    Meggie_pooh Posts: 316 Member
    sometime u just have to be blunt, cuz if u beat around the bush, she will keep coming back!! Just tell her NO!!
  • jamielise2
    jamielise2 Posts: 432 Member
    I agree, I think you need to politely say "I'm sorry, but we're barely making it here ourselves and I just can't help you". Are you renting or do you own? Can you move? If you're renting, talk to the office if she keeps bothering you, because odds are she's bothering other people too, and they can evict her if she's a nuisance. I would try to be nice first, but if she won't back off, don't be afraid to get blunt. Some people expect the rest of the world to pay for their lives. She's probably spending all her money on partying, but that can't be your problem.
  • Bella1hud
    Bella1hud Posts: 530 Member
    It sounds like she may have some mental health problems. This is is a hard one to know what is the right thing to do for sure...
  • bonjour24
    bonjour24 Posts: 1,119 Member
    i agree with many of the pp's. i'd tell her that you can barely afford to fund yourselves, and 'sorry but i don't have any anything to spare. if you need sugar or milk, i can spare enough for a cuppa until you get to the shop, but i can't afford to give you smokes or nappies because i can barely afford them myself'. or something like that. you don't want to make her an enemy, because then she may become a pain in the *kitten*. you need to keep her on side at the same time as telling her to eff off!
    but don't avoid her. she won't get the message (regardless of if she is a freeloader or has mental health issues), and she'll keep coming back. then next thing you know you and your kids will be hiding behind the sofa to avoid her.
  • VixFit2011
    VixFit2011 Posts: 663 Member
    Complain to the office! That's what everyone else does. :happy: She's probably not 18 and that's why she keeps asking you for cigarettes. You could call the cops also...especially if they're being noisy at odd hours of the night. Muahahahaha!

    I agree with this one!
  • Lizshouse88
    Lizshouse88 Posts: 81
    Thanks for all the input guys, sadly I have already told her numerous times in these words exactly "I can barely afford to buy myself cigarettes, I can't afford to just be giving them out sorry".... yet she keeps coming back.

    I am friends with the people that work in the office (landlords) because I worked there last summer before I moved in here. They know what's going on but they also know I dont want to cause problems.

    Lastly, YES they do keep me up half the night. That 2 year old runs back and forth across the halls until 2am!!
  • bonjour24
    bonjour24 Posts: 1,119 Member
    then enough is enough! complain. things aren't going to get any worse. talk to your other neighbours and complain together.
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