Epiphany- You need to read this

While laying here in bed, insomnia prevailing, I was fixing up my farm on Farmville and hearing the infomercial for The Firm Express workout dvd in the background and I found myself getting irritated. I have been doing really well with eating better and getting my goals and priorities in check, but for the last week or so I admit that I was slipping, eating out more often than not, on top of it not making good decisions. I haven't even looked at the scale this week. I was even craving pizza while laying in bed and I don't even like pizza that much...

Anyways, I had a sudden epiphany. I have always wanted a beautiful wedding and thriving family, nice home, etc. Now, being older and having gone through way more in my 19 years than many people go through in 50 years, I realized that so many more things go along with wanting those things, more that play into it. I'm not talking about jobs and stable relationships, those have become obvious. I'm talking about those things almost everyone figures out AFTER they have children or know but think its unattainable. Health, true happiness, satisfaction, contentment... these are important to me. When I imagine the next 5 years, this is what I see in an ideal world.

Reliable and well paying jobs for one or both myself and my fiance
A home with a big yard, high ceilings, and granite countertops
My own personal dream wedding
Feeling and looking beautiful on my wedding day
Feeling confident while on our honeymoon
Getting pregnant within the 5 years
Having a healthy beautiful pregnancy
Having a healthy and beautiful baby
These may sound generic, but I really want these things. I find myself thinking that I cannot have them, that I am not worthy. Why? I don't know, but the epiphany I was talking about ealier was this... I CAN HAVE THESE THINGS! My self-confidence is what has been on the floor, not my worth. I have to work on always putting my goals and priorities first, everything else will fall where it is supposed to. In any time of weakness I need to be able to tell myself that I Can.

Everytime I look at my future in the brightest outlook, I picture granite countertops, not for what they are, but what they represent for me. When I think granite countertops, I see myself as having all those things listed above. It represents content. I see myself wiping down the counters with a smile, feeding my children breakfast before we rush them to school, setting out a freshly baked (healthy) apple pie to cool. I love that image, so I have decided to grasp on to it, my first step is to get a handle on my fitness, all else will fall in line and I will have those granite countertops.