Saddening Realization... I really need advice!

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mynameiscarrie
mynameiscarrie Posts: 963 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I don’t have the body type to be small…i just don’t. I’m built like an athlete. I cried at the gym today when I realized that. My arms will never look lean, they will bulk. My shoulders are broad. I just physically can’t be lean and toned and all that jazz.

However:

Now that I know I’m never going to be small and lean, I know that I need to adjust my workout to suit my new goals (that I’m not to excited about at the moment but I’ll accept it eventually). I’m not going all body builder (because, personally, i think girls with super ripped abs and all that is gross) but I’m going to start lifting more. I’ll still do my usual cardio routine (3-5 mile runs) but I’m going to add weights into my workout almost every time.

Might as well play with the cards I’m dealt right? and it’s a good thing I think athletic bodies are good looking or else i’d be seriously screwed…

Does anyone have any good lifting tips that will give me definition and size without looking like Lou Ferrigno?

Replies

  • Arizona_JR
    Arizona_JR Posts: 275
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    higher reps, lower weights, and also HIIT. I've seen lots of B/A pics of people who last mass in their muscles, and just leaned out a little by adopting a different workout style.
  • Kelly_Wilson1990
    Kelly_Wilson1990 Posts: 3,245 Member
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    You got to love yourself and work with what you have.
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
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    Well, I just have to say... looking through your pics, I think you look AMAZING. I know we all have an "ideal" body type that we want to reach, and you're right, sometimes we can't have that certain type. But you look awesome. You need to know that.

    Hopefully other people can give you actual advice. :)
  • bkassing1
    bkassing1 Posts: 8 Member
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    A common myth about weight lifting is that you will end up like the incredible hulk. That is simply not true. Those type of guys eat a ton and lift a ton. Work with a trainer or a friend who knows what they are doing develop an exercise routine.

    I've been lifting my whole life. I'm strong and fit, but I'm not bulky. I don't eat enough and don't want to look like that anyway. Lifting weights should be a part of everyone's exercise routine.

    I basically have weighed the same forever. Just get with a professional. So many people lift weights without purpose or don't know what they are doing. They waste their time and get no results. Read, research and work with someone to give you some guidance.
  • therequiiem
    therequiiem Posts: 133 Member
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    I absolutely agree. You truly look amazing. I hope you believe it. I would kill to look like you! =)
  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
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    I'd rather have a body like yours than be small any day. Fit is sexy. Muscles (defined and toned not big and bulky) are super HOT!
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
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    Lean and toned doesn't mean tall and stick thin. You can definitely be lean and toned no matter what build you are! I have a medium frame which means my hips probably won't get much smaller than about 40" (right now I'm 43")... even the curviest "thin" girls don't have hips that big... Kim Kardashian is like 38" in her hips if that gives you a mental image. Don't get frustrated because you won't look like Jennifer Aniston. I have pretty broad shoulders too thanks to my very small percentage of German ancestry.
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
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    Don't do a lot of shoulder exercises. The shoulders will get toned as you do other upper body. I have a very similar build to you, and I found that if I work my shoulders, especially in shoulder presses and such, they get too bulky. And do plenty of core work. You won't get the over-done look in your abs, but you'll be nice and tight and be able to support yourself in all your other exercises.

    And make sure to do the exercises slowly and deliberately. For most lifts, it should be about 1 second lifting, 2 seconds holding, and 3 returning to starting position. I see people all the time using momentum to get the weights going, and they aren't nearly as effective, plus it puts the body more at risk for injury. If you can, work with a trainer for a couple of times, you learn lots of great stuff!
  • mattbryan
    mattbryan Posts: 147
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    Nothing wrong with your body....your shape is fine. I agree with those who recommend lower weights and more reps. I also think you should work with a trainer to find out what exercises will help you to tone the areas you want more defined. Good luck!!!
  • icerose137
    icerose137 Posts: 318 Member
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    At my ideal weight I will probably never wear anything smaller than a 13/14. I have large bones and big curves. It's fine, my husband loves my body and it's the one I've always had.

    I'm sorry you're sad about your realization but it's important to have. There are lots of body types and you've found yours. No shame in that. I'm sure you'll turn more than a few heads with your athletic body.
  • sister_bear
    sister_bear Posts: 529 Member
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    Look for strength training and avoid 'body building.' I know that's totally super helpful right? Years ago I power lifted and it was tons of fun. It was pure strength training and we made a goofy little team to go to meets and stuff.

    As for body type, pshaw. You look faboo, darling. (I assume that's you in the picture.) :flowerforyou:

    I have always fought my hair. I have hated it and forced it to do things that I wanted it to and thought it should do. Since it could never do what I wanted, I was unhappy with it. I went to a workshop where I was video taped and played on a HUGE screen and I remember looking at myself and being horrified. I kept thinking, "that's NOT me." When I got home, I immediately went to my hairdresser and told her 'do what may hair wants.' She was pretty nervous with this assignment, but we figured it out and I about cried in the salon when I saw the end result. I remember thinking, "THAT'S me." The next step was the weight, because that's NOT me either.

    My point is, sometimes we get so caught up in an idea of what we should be, we forget to see what we really are. Usually the hand we're dealt is much better anyway. :wink:
  • millerll
    millerll Posts: 873 Member
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    Oh, horse-pucky! Personally, I think you look great in your profile pic. However, if you want to get leaner, you can. It'll take a lot of hard work and exercise, but it's doable. To get leaner, you have to lose bodyfat. That means you have to eat a very clean diet - lean protein, lots of veggies, some fresh fruit, and healthy fats. No junk or processed stuff. It takes a lot of discipline. Combine that with a sensible weightlifting routine, and you will get leaner. I did.

    Check out scoobysworkshop.com for great advice on starting a beginner's routine, and he has videos on his site where he demonstrates all the lifts. Also check out his sections on nutrition and building lean mass for advice.

    You can do it if you really want it! Good luck!
  • cuerpito
    cuerpito Posts: 65 Member
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    You are wayyyy to harsh on yourself. You look amazing! So what you won't be lean - you will be HEALTHY looking!!!! Just as someone said before here about Kim Kardashian. Think about it: Jennifer Lopez was just named the sexiest woman - look at her body shape. Let me tell you - lean and thin is OUT!!! Healthy curves are IN!!!!

    And as far as exercise - someone said that before, too - do less weight with more reps - it will tone your muscles without bulking them.

    And again - you look BEAUTIFUL - no reason to cry!!!! Be proud of what you have accomplished!!!
  • evertongirl
    evertongirl Posts: 120 Member
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    I would take toned and fit over small any day...so much sexier and healthier - you are lucky to ahve that type of body and you look great as you are ;) I hope I resemble your shape over the next year - I would be very happy!
  • Soccer_Chick
    Soccer_Chick Posts: 204 Member
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    You look beautiful, athletic and most importantly healthy. Be proud of your body. For lifting advice I would recommend you check out the book New Rules of Lifting for Women. It is a great well written weightlifting book that will take you where you want to go. Good luck!
  • mynameiscarrie
    mynameiscarrie Posts: 963 Member
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    Thanks to all for the compliments and advice :) i'll get used to it, it was just disheartening earlier today. I usually lift about 2 times a week and the other 3-4 days are solely cardio days. I'm going to talk to one of the trainers at my gym to get advice and probably bump it up to every day lifting (alternating muscle groups of course).

    I've worked my *kitten* off to get to where I am now so it just sucked to know what I've been working so hard for isn't a reality. I feel like I could be way ahead in my goals if I had the correct goal in the first place, if that makes sense

    Thanks everyone for the advice :)
  • stariera
    stariera Posts: 224
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    When you add weights make sure you go low weights... more reps and sets. You might be surprised at the transformation. I am rather broad shouldered as well but I am seeing them get alot leaner then they were in the past. Friend me if you like I have a list of great exercises to help trim and sculpt shoulders without bulking them up. You can talk with a trainer about them and they can help you through the motions. Key is movement... the correct movement and breath... every rep you should take one breath.
  • icerose137
    icerose137 Posts: 318 Member
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    Thanks to all for the compliments and advice :) i'll get used to it, it was just disheartening earlier today. I usually lift about 2 times a week and the other 3-4 days are solely cardio days. I'm going to talk to one of the trainers at my gym to get advice and probably bump it up to every day lifting (alternating muscle groups of course).

    I've worked my *kitten* off to get to where I am now so it just sucked to know what I've been working so hard for isn't a reality. I feel like I could be way ahead in my goals if I had the correct goal in the first place, if that makes sense

    Thanks everyone for the advice :)

    I can understand that. But at least now you know and can adjust your goals to fit you rather than the image you think it should fit. And that is a great move.

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