Weight loss, depression, and us.

PearBlossom9 wrote: »

I am going to be honest though what I generally say about this is not popular around here. Oh well. Haters gonna hate.

For reference, I have bipolar 2, anxiety, and depression. Bipolar being a mental disorder that essentially makes you have problems regulating moods to the point where you deal with extreme highs and lows in ways you cannot control. Bipolar 2 leans on the depressive side vs Bipolar 1 which is more manic (elevated "good" moods).

Weight has been a constant issue for the last 10-15 years of my life. What I came to realize that for me, food was something that gave me comfort in times of being very depressed. It just kept getting worse. A few times I would have this glimmer of light and I would start eating better and working out. But, eventually that light would go out and I was back to square 1. So fast forward a bit and I get diagnosed officially and my doctor starts me on medications. It took 3 years to find the right combination. The right combination really helped me turn the corner. There was hope, that light that I rarely saw was like this big flood light on me now.

So, I started counting calories. Got myself a gym membership. I didn't go much at first. And I often went over my calories. I started to get a little better at it. I bought a pretty little notebook and I started writing down positive quotes that I found through pintrest and just looking around the internet. I gave myself time everyday to read through them and add a new one. To set a good, positive moods. Yea, some days I looked at some of the quotes and had a very cynical outlook of thinking it was a bunch of nonsense that meant nothing. Everyone has those days. But after a few weeks, I started believing those quotes more and more and I could tell my mood was improving.

One day, I happened to come across someone talking about Keto, which is a low carb, high fat/protein sort of diet. It reminded me of a spell where I did Atkins for 2 weeks, ate nothing but bacon, eggs, and cheese, and couldn't poop. That's a whole lot of misery I didn't stick with for long. But I kept on reading about the Ketogenic Diet. What I came to find out is that it was originally meant for epilepsy patients as a way to help control seizures. Some of the medications I am on double as anti-seizure medications. So for me it, a keto diet helps the part of my brain that basically makes me depressed and unable to handle my emotions and moods.

I started on keto a month ago. It's had its up and downs. But man, I feel AWESOME. Over the past week, I have tried to run a little bit. I don't think I have ran in 15 years or more. I go swimming at my YMCA a few times a week. I lift weights. I actually feel like doing these things. I have totally overhauled how I eat. I eat less than 20 carbs a day, generally. I have lost weight, I have a much more positive attitude in general. People around me have started to notice.

I set a few small goals. Go to the gym 2 times this week. I made this goal and that felt really good. Making reasonable goals and reaching them feels really good! I also started getting involved with message boards that deal with my diet (keto), and started feeling like I had people to talk to about something that is basically, my whole life. They help to motivate me. Being surrounded by people who talk about positive changes they are experiencing can be very motivating. I've gotten involved with weight loss contests , namely a biggest loser contest at work. This time last year I would be highly embarrassed to get my 266 pound butt on a scale in front of anyone but myself. Now I feel like I have to prove it and I want to do well. I talk about my diet and exercise all the time. All the damn time. My co-workers are always interested in what I bring for lunch. They don't make me feel stupid or fat. I suppose that is one area you can't control, lol, but find that positive person in your life and tell then you need them to be a rock! My best friend is awesome at reminding me of my goals and aspirations even through he isn't involved in the same things. A lot of people have a rock, they just have to dust it off. But if you don't have a rock or your rock is really kind of a pebble, there are so many online places, and even here in MFP where you can find support.

Some people will say, "just get up and do it." If it were that easy, it would of been done. Finding motivation is really hard. Probably some of the hardest stuff that you can possibly do for yourself.

So, to sum it up : medication, positive thinking, finding a friend you can really lean on, and the keto diet gave me my life back. I recognize that medication is not for everyone, nor is the keto diet. But, anyone can do a bit of mindful meditation with reading positive thoughts and trying to teach yourself to relate to them.


I hope you find something that works for you. Overcoming depression is hard but it can be done.