Where is the boundary between unwanted advice and concern?

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Replies

  • helenarriaza
    helenarriaza Posts: 517 Member
    That sounds like all of the signals for Orthorexia. My partner's cousin is just like that, she weighs about 100 pounds and she's 45. She's obsessed with organic, gluten free, vegan, raw foods and she's doing detoxes non stop. I found a "detox yourself skinny" tea on her house last time and I've tried bringing it up but she won't budge.
  • dolliesdaughter
    dolliesdaughter Posts: 544 Member
    stephanie20314 wrote: »
    Probably not going to be popular, but here goes. I wouldn't say anything and would put some distance in the relationship. You said you aren't close to him and he's displaying obsessive paranoid behavior while also potentially going through a divorce. Unless I'm super close to someone I back away from "abnormal behavior" not step into the line of fire.
    Thank you.

  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,626 Member
    unless he is a very close friend.... I wouldnt say anything directly. I might talk about how I've lost weight and kept it off, and how MY health is literally textbook perfect, but not tell him to change. He may take it to heart for future reference....

    now, my best friend is a guy and i will without a second thought tell him hes *kitten* up if i think he is. but weve known each other 20 some years ....
  • Q_Is_Poison
    Q_Is_Poison Posts: 203 Member
    I think you are more annoyed that concerned. This is about you, not him. Leave him alone and work on your own issues.
  • Sarahb29
    Sarahb29 Posts: 952 Member
    edited February 2016
    So he's eating a lot of green veggies, potatoes and grains and it's working for him? If he brings it up, ask him where he heard about it from. Maybe he watched a documentary and decided to try out the meal plan. Maybe he has valid points and he's not underweight. Maybe he eats certain meats, just not overly processed meat, there's some people who will only eat grass fed meat. Who knows? There's so many unknowns and you'll never know unless you ask him about it.

    I wouldn't bring it up myself though. Other than that just let him do his thing.
  • Psychgrrl
    Psychgrrl Posts: 3,177 Member
    The next time he brings the weight loss up, I'd say something like, "You look great--like you're at a healthy weight. I'm concerned if you keep losing you'll become too thin and unhealthy. Is this something your doctor is encouraging?" When he says no, you can add, "Please consider talking to your doctor about your way of eating and weight loss. You're a friend and someone I care about. I needed to say something." Then drop it unless he brings up your concerns again.

    Don't try to tell him he's wrong, that won't work. Just say what you're observing, in a caring way. Suggest he check in with his doc. You've planted a couple seeds--someone who didn't judge him (and his behaviors), who cares about him and encouraged him to see a medical professional.
  • dolliesdaughter
    dolliesdaughter Posts: 544 Member
    Q_Is_Poison wrote: »
    I think you are more annoyed that concerned. This is about you, not him. Leave him alone and work on your own issues.
    I agree.

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