How do you cope when that ugly greenish-eyed monster called Comparison sneaks its way into your bra

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distinctlybeautiful
distinctlybeautiful Posts: 1,041 Member
in Motivation and Support
I know there's no point comparing myself to others. I know it's a great way to feel inadequate. I'm pretty good at avoiding it, but I'm human and find myself doing it sometimes. I'd love to hear some coping strategies if anyone's willing to share. Thanks!
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  • distinctlybeautiful
    distinctlybeautiful Posts: 1,041 Member
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    That's brain, not bra.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    Have to focus on your personal progress.

    -If it's that you are jealous of someone's lifts, remind yourself how far you've come and that you have no idea how long they've been lifting.
    -If it's body fat percentage, make sure you are tracking through photographs the changes.
    -If it's building muscle, pictures once again are going to help you see that you are improving.

    You don't know what someone else's history looks like. You have no idea if they have been doing it for years, if they hired private trainers/chefs, if they have better flexibility in schedule, if they have better genetics, or a host of other factors that play into how much "better" they are than you. Learn to take pride in how far you have come and what odds you have overcome along the way.
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
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    I just remind myself that "comparison is the thief of joy"
  • Kamikazeflutterby
    Kamikazeflutterby Posts: 775 Member
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    The typo may skew this thread.

    2762F31700000578-0-image-a-10_1428532625133.jpg
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
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    I read an article a couple of days ago that said you don't need to be better than anyone else, just better than you were yesterday. :smile:

    It can be tough when we feel someone else might have got where they are with little effort, but it's like @usmcmp said - we don't know their history. All we can do is focus on our own progress.

    Kamikazeflutterby wrote: »
    The typo may skew this thread.

    Well, it's certainly why I came to take a look at it! I wondered what on earth it was all about. :smile:
  • Ashtoretet
    Ashtoretet Posts: 378 Member
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    Thought this was going to be a thread where we flat-chested gals commiserate.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    distinctlybeautiful wrote: »
    That's brain, not bra.

    Heheheh
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    distinctlybeautiful wrote: »
    I know there's no point comparing myself to others. I know it's a great way to feel inadequate. I'm pretty good at avoiding it, but I'm human and find myself doing it sometimes. I'd love to hear some coping strategies if anyone's willing to share. Thanks!

    I compare myself with me before

    And I'm cocky and confident in what I've achieved and I credit being fit and strong with that

    There will always be people more attractive than you, more successful but they won't be more content and they will have people more attractive and successful than them ...why choose envy ?

    Also good lingerie ...good lingerie always makes me walk taller
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,484 Member
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    Like @rabbitjb said.
    I was hoping that it was going to be for flat chested women (why didn't Freddie Mercury do a song about us?).
    I am a hiccup above pancake size and can't imagine having more.

    As to the real topic - I love me, yes there are taller, slimmer, stronger, fitter, more beautiful and younger women than me. But only I can be the mix of everything that makes the unique and wonderful me. I wouldn't want to be anyone else.
    Be the woman you love.

    High stilettos work well too.

    Cheers, h.
  • samchez0
    samchez0 Posts: 364 Member
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    Ashtoretet wrote: »
    Thought this was going to be a thread where we flat-chested gals commiserate.

    Haha! I can commiserate with you about that! Anything I gained is disappearing with weight loss.
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,520 Member
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    People you envy...envy someone else. The people that you view as "perfect" have flaws that they also focus unnecessary attention toward. Spend sometime on the MFP forums, you will see that women you would think were beautiful hate their thighs or arms or whatever.
  • TheBeachgod
    TheBeachgod Posts: 825 Member
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    A lot of it depends on your method of comparison. Being envious of someone else for whatever reason and then resenting them and/or yourself is mind poison but it can be positive if you see them as a stimulus to better yourself. I see ripped guys on the beach all the time and instead of comparing myself (which would be futile and sadly humorous) I think "Oh yeah, I need to step it up a little more if I think this gut is going to go away".

    I must add this thread had the best first two posts I've seen in a while. I laughed myself silly when I saw the second "correction" post. 24.gif


  • katkiv22
    katkiv22 Posts: 15 Member
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    I try to remind myself that they worked for what they have, and I can do the same thing. I don't know how long someone has been training or working to get where they are.

    This doesn't necessarily work for everything though, I won't make myself taller by working out or eating better. And bra envy I might be able to change, but cosmetic surgery does not appeal to me ;)
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    this may not be what you are looking for but there is something called cbt (cognitive behavioral therapy). There are all kinds of books. It helps you go from negative thinking to more realistic, balanced thinking.

    I have fallen into that trap, too; comparing myself to others. I can't remember what I did to help. Maybe focus on things about yourself you like.
  • Blackdawn_70631
    Blackdawn_70631 Posts: 283 Member
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    I'm on the other side with this one because I'm fit and lean-ish and eat whatever I want and have people tell me they can't do that.
    I have to work for mine. I start off my day with a protein shake after 7 AM, then my job has me walking 10,000+ steps and lifting a couple hundred pounds a day to a couple tone. By the end of the day my exercise calories can be 500-800 calories without exercising. Fat burn calories are 1,500 calories per day. Meanwhile I'm consuming healthy carbs and eating protein. Then my shut off time for eating is 7 PM.
    My workout days are three times a week doing weights, core and cardio.
    So it's not like we're all invincible with these rock hard, amazing immune systems. If I don't stick to the exact plan of not eating past 7 PM, then eating after 7 AM, healthy carbs, lean protein, protein shakes, heavy lifting and cardio\10,000 steps. It won't work.
    Nobody's perfect. Just don't beat yourself up about it. Lots of people I know won't punish themselves with the job I do, and working 6 days a week.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,339 Member
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    Kamikazeflutterby wrote: »
    The typo may skew this thread.

    2762F31700000578-0-image-a-10_1428532625133.jpg

    That is a fabulous dress!!
  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,390 Member
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    And here I was expecting to have to reinforce from a male point of view that small chested women can be just as attractive!

    But as for comparisons... unless you can use them to motivate you and they end up being a negative thing, just avoid them. And really, unless you know people well, you only see the shell regardless. I know people that are outwardly appearing to be happy, fit, content, etc... and their lives suck daily. I find just worrying about me and the people I really care about is much more healthy, as they are known things.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    This gives a while new meaning to the phrase "it really gets on my tits"
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
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    I'm happy for them. Their successes or failures have nothing to do with my situation, and I like it when folks get things that make them happy and pleasant, so I'm happy for them. If me being unhappy for them worked to get more for me, I might change my mind on that... but it doesn't ;)
  • ShrinkingScientist
    ShrinkingScientist Posts: 68 Member
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    I hate when monsters get in my bra. :s

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