"You look like you've gained weight!"

allehp
allehp Posts: 96
edited September 28 in Motivation and Support
In the past two weeks I've had two different people tell me I look like I've gained weight, one of them being my nephew who looked at me and said, "You were skinnier the last time I saw you."

It's like, gee thanks! I didn't notice!

Anyone else get this a lot? Why would anybody say something like that? :explode:
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Replies

  • jinxywinx
    jinxywinx Posts: 38
    My aunt does this all the time. Drives me bonkers!
  • durbink
    durbink Posts: 2
    I had a woman at work a month ago(a lady I only see every great once in while) look at my stomach and say, "I didn't know you were expecting!" It took me a moment to realize what she meant. When I finally figured out that she thought I was pregnant I said, "You didn't know because I'm not expecting." So yeah, I've had that happen to me!! I don't really know what possesses people to say such things.
  • Cmccracken1
    Cmccracken1 Posts: 326 Member
    kids are sometime brutally honest i have lost 45 lbs my 9 year old told me yesterday that the shorts i had on made my butt look big.. lol... take it with a grain of salt and a lump of sugar the only opinion that matters is yours.
  • babydull
    babydull Posts: 727 Member
    My Mum does it as well, clearly these people aren't subscribing to the 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all' maxim!
  • rfcollins33
    rfcollins33 Posts: 630
    my grandmother (passed now) used to say that, and then she'd slap at my thighs kinda hard and say, "You need to get some of that fat off them thighs!!" yikes!!
  • NBabi91
    NBabi91 Posts: 270 Member
    I once had my friends little cousin come up to me point and say "wow you're fat"

    I wanted to kill that kid.
  • rundgrenfan
    rundgrenfan Posts: 211
    Although I've been hurt by strangers thinking I'm pregnant, or little kids saying I'm fat, I sometimes wish someone close to me would have said something constructive before I got this big! Oh well, I probably wouldn't have listened anyway. Wasn't ready.
  • EmilyAnn89
    EmilyAnn89 Posts: 564 Member
    i had someone ask me if i was pregnant again :(
  • _Johanna_
    _Johanna_ Posts: 125 Member
    I have Thanksgiving dinner at my house. Years ago, when my Grandfather was still with us, was there. We had just finished filling our plates and I was about to begin piling an abnormally large amount of food into my mouth, my grandpa, from across the table, shouted "Johanna, it looks like you've put on some weight". All eyes turned to me as I had a fork full of food lifted to my mouth.

    My Grandpa was right, but even still, it ruined my Thanksgiving!
  • fearlessfatty
    fearlessfatty Posts: 206 Member
    I hear ya - my brother is incredibly overweight and at my heaviest my grandmother grabed my face and emotionally said, "You're looking like your brother!"

    At the same time though, I didn't see how big I had gotten and maybe if a few people had gently mentioned it to me I might have taken more notice? Not too sure but I know one thing: I certainly like the people who notice I've LOST weight and comment on it!!
  • Cindy311
    Cindy311 Posts: 780 Member
    my grandmother (passed now) used to say that, and then she'd slap at my thighs kinda hard and say, "You need to get some of that fat off them thighs!!" yikes!!


    That sounds like something my grandma would have said too! She'd always pinch an inch :0)
  • Panda86
    Panda86 Posts: 873
    Yeah, my sister loves to make observations like that. Drives me nuts. After I got married and left, and then came back to visit, I gained maybe 3-4 lbs, and she was like, "Wow, you are getting chubby". Really? I literally only gained a few lbs. I always hear her voice in my head when I look at myself, I swear. I am going to visit my family in less than a week, and I am excited because I was 20 lbs heavier last time I saw them. :) It's hard to ignore those comments... just use them to fuel your weight-loss!!
  • ChitownFoodie
    ChitownFoodie Posts: 1,562 Member
    I could gain a half a pound and my mother will tell me that I look like I've gain 10. I won't tell you to not let it bother you because I would be a hypocrite if I did. I try and take the advice of others and remember that its not about them, its about how you feel.
  • fearlessfatty
    fearlessfatty Posts: 206 Member
    Although I've been hurt by strangers thinking I'm pregnant, or little kids saying I'm fat, I sometimes wish someone close to me would have said something constructive before I got this big! Oh well, I probably wouldn't have listened anyway. Wasn't ready.

    So agree!!!

    One stranger asked me if I was pregnant and I replied with a giant smile on my face and a gentle rubbing of my belly, "Nope! I just love McDonalds!"
  • Autumn1206
    Autumn1206 Posts: 126
    That is terrible that you all had to be the recipient of such bad manners! It doesn't matter if someone has gained 400 pounds, you don't say "gee have you gained weight?". The nerve of people...
  • allehp
    allehp Posts: 96
    Yeah, my sister loves to make observations like that. Drives me nuts. After I got married and left, and then came back to visit, I gained maybe 3-4 lbs, and she was like, "Wow, you are getting chubby". Really? I literally only gained a few lbs. I always hear her voice in my head when I look at myself, I swear. I am going to visit my family in less than a week, and I am excited because I was 20 lbs heavier last time I saw them. :) It's hard to ignore those comments... just use them to fuel your weight-loss!!

    That's a really good way of looking at it :)
  • kerriknox
    kerriknox Posts: 276 Member
    I actually love the fact that my son is so honest. If I put something on and ask my husband, he'll always tell me I look good (unless it is REALLY bad). My son - if he doesn't like it he tells me right off!

    On the rare ooccasion my husband and I get a date I always have Dylan in the closet with me checking out my outfits. :-)
  • Kristhin
    Kristhin Posts: 442 Member
    People have said that to me even when I was still really skinny--if I went from 107lbs to 112lbs somebody would have to comment and either tell me I looked like I was gaining weight or tell me that then also ask me if I'm pregnant.

    People are just insensitive idiots. I mean really, people who are overweight may scoff at a person thinner than them having body image issues, but in reality I think people who are somewhat thin sometimes get picked on just as much if not more because then people think its just automatically ok to say whatever you want to somebody and its NOT! I'm not pregnant I'm just fat and if I get fatter then its none of your freaking business idiots!!! Haha. I just want to slap ppl sometimes.
  • d_llopez
    d_llopez Posts: 167 Member
    My kids are honest with me and I've accepted it even if it hurts. Truth hurts that why I'm fixing it.
  • LaDiablesse
    LaDiablesse Posts: 862 Member
    There are some people out there that speak before they think about how those words will affect that person. I agree, kids can be brutally honest with things like this!

    When things like that have happened to me, I wonder to myself if anyone has ever called them on how ugly & rude it is to say these kinds of things. I also think that I can work to lose the weight & chances are they're probably miserable people to say such ugly things, & it will take twice as long for them to change.

    Keep your head up & keep on working towards your goal. Do it for you & forget what those kinds of people say!
  • LoveleeB
    LoveleeB Posts: 560 Member
    This happened to me last year before I started to lose weight. I used to hang out with my ex-boyfriend and his family a lot but when I started grad school I didn't have as much time. One day I went over to his parents house and as SOON as I walked in the door, his uncle was like "Hi Brittany, wow it looks like you've put on some weight". I was MORTIFIED & pissed at the same time. All I could do was walk away. It feels pretty crappy when and adult says it to you.

    Sorry you had to hear that hun!
  • LetzgoOU
    LetzgoOU Posts: 24 Member
    One day I hadn't eaten anything all day and it was like 2:00 in the afternoon. So I asked the group I was with if we could get something to eat to which the reply was, "WOW you're ALWAYS the first one to holler when are we gonna eat!" Well yeah, because I hadn't eaten ANYTHING! That sentence struck me to the core and really hurt my feelings! And I really don't think that person realized how much they hurt me!
  • mike_littlerock
    mike_littlerock Posts: 296 Member
    I think that people feel its OK to be "blunt" about weight but hopefully they can learn that this should rank with racial slurs. I have had people make fat jokes to me, in front of me, etc.. are they so dumb that they do not realizing that their catty little comments are very insensitive? I will admit that I have used the "I may be fat, but you are an ugly person.. and at least I can loose weight" reply more than once.
  • lbetancourt
    lbetancourt Posts: 522 Member
    about 3 months ago a coworker told me that I gained weight... I was hurt by it. But looking back, I am glad so he called me out. I am 12 lbs lighter now.
  • mindy14456
    mindy14456 Posts: 552 Member
    I am sorry that happened to you!! From children you kind of expect some not so polite honesty, but getting it from adults sucks.
  • JessieGurl
    JessieGurl Posts: 27
    People ask me when I'm due all the time. Even now after I have lost 40lbs. Unfortunately I carry most of my weight in my belly. I will not allow myself to forget how I feel everytime I hear that comment. I use it as fuel to keep going.
  • Kristhin
    Kristhin Posts: 442 Member
    Has anyone else ever noticed that the person who makes a comment about your weight always ends up being someone WAAAYYYY larger than you are? Its like, who are YOU of all people to talk?? And since when does someone smaller than you not have feelings??
  • Cam_
    Cam_ Posts: 515 Member
    A guy at work asked me when I was due.
    He had previously had a big belly and had gotten into shape since.
    Although it was kind of funny, it didn't make me feel very good.
  • allehp
    allehp Posts: 96
    Has anyone else ever noticed that the person who makes a comment about your weight always ends up being someone WAAAYYYY larger than you are? Its like, who are YOU of all people to talk?? And since when does someone smaller than you not have feelings??

    Hahaha that's actually true! The guy who told me I was heavier was pretty big! Didn't even think of that.
  • AmeDavis
    AmeDavis Posts: 1
    <rant> People have said that to me even when I was still really skinny--if I went from 107lbs to 112lbs somebody would have to comment and either tell me I looked like I was gaining weight or tell me that then also ask me if I'm pregnant.

    People are just insensitive idiots. I mean really, people who are overweight may scoff at a person thinner than them having body image issues, but in reality I think people who are somewhat thin sometimes get picked on just as much if not more because then people think its just automatically ok to say whatever you want to somebody and its NOT! I'm not pregnant I'm just fat and if I get fatter then its none of your freaking business idiots!!! Haha. I just want to slap ppl sometimes.

    I'm 5"6 and 125 ibs and I get that all the freaking time. In the past week I've had three different people tell me I've put on weight in the past three months. Yeah, I've gained a whole four pounds from being on vacation and eating like a normal person does. Yet when people say things like that it just makes me want to revert back to unhealthy ways of just not eating. To me I don't care whether you phrase it positively like you look good with the additional weight or if it is just plain stated, people don't need to say it.

    If someone looks good tell them simply that. Because you never know who struggles with their weight no matter their size. </rant>
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