"You look like you've gained weight!"

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2

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  • LoveleeB
    LoveleeB Posts: 560 Member
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    This happened to me last year before I started to lose weight. I used to hang out with my ex-boyfriend and his family a lot but when I started grad school I didn't have as much time. One day I went over to his parents house and as SOON as I walked in the door, his uncle was like "Hi Brittany, wow it looks like you've put on some weight". I was MORTIFIED & pissed at the same time. All I could do was walk away. It feels pretty crappy when and adult says it to you.

    Sorry you had to hear that hun!
  • LetzgoOU
    LetzgoOU Posts: 24 Member
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    One day I hadn't eaten anything all day and it was like 2:00 in the afternoon. So I asked the group I was with if we could get something to eat to which the reply was, "WOW you're ALWAYS the first one to holler when are we gonna eat!" Well yeah, because I hadn't eaten ANYTHING! That sentence struck me to the core and really hurt my feelings! And I really don't think that person realized how much they hurt me!
  • mike_littlerock
    mike_littlerock Posts: 296 Member
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    I think that people feel its OK to be "blunt" about weight but hopefully they can learn that this should rank with racial slurs. I have had people make fat jokes to me, in front of me, etc.. are they so dumb that they do not realizing that their catty little comments are very insensitive? I will admit that I have used the "I may be fat, but you are an ugly person.. and at least I can loose weight" reply more than once.
  • lbetancourt
    lbetancourt Posts: 522 Member
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    about 3 months ago a coworker told me that I gained weight... I was hurt by it. But looking back, I am glad so he called me out. I am 12 lbs lighter now.
  • mindy14456
    mindy14456 Posts: 552 Member
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    I am sorry that happened to you!! From children you kind of expect some not so polite honesty, but getting it from adults sucks.
  • JessieGurl
    JessieGurl Posts: 27
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    People ask me when I'm due all the time. Even now after I have lost 40lbs. Unfortunately I carry most of my weight in my belly. I will not allow myself to forget how I feel everytime I hear that comment. I use it as fuel to keep going.
  • Kristhin
    Kristhin Posts: 442 Member
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    Has anyone else ever noticed that the person who makes a comment about your weight always ends up being someone WAAAYYYY larger than you are? Its like, who are YOU of all people to talk?? And since when does someone smaller than you not have feelings??
  • Cam_
    Cam_ Posts: 515 Member
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    A guy at work asked me when I was due.
    He had previously had a big belly and had gotten into shape since.
    Although it was kind of funny, it didn't make me feel very good.
  • allehp
    allehp Posts: 96
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    Has anyone else ever noticed that the person who makes a comment about your weight always ends up being someone WAAAYYYY larger than you are? Its like, who are YOU of all people to talk?? And since when does someone smaller than you not have feelings??

    Hahaha that's actually true! The guy who told me I was heavier was pretty big! Didn't even think of that.
  • AmeDavis
    AmeDavis Posts: 1
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    <rant> People have said that to me even when I was still really skinny--if I went from 107lbs to 112lbs somebody would have to comment and either tell me I looked like I was gaining weight or tell me that then also ask me if I'm pregnant.

    People are just insensitive idiots. I mean really, people who are overweight may scoff at a person thinner than them having body image issues, but in reality I think people who are somewhat thin sometimes get picked on just as much if not more because then people think its just automatically ok to say whatever you want to somebody and its NOT! I'm not pregnant I'm just fat and if I get fatter then its none of your freaking business idiots!!! Haha. I just want to slap ppl sometimes.

    I'm 5"6 and 125 ibs and I get that all the freaking time. In the past week I've had three different people tell me I've put on weight in the past three months. Yeah, I've gained a whole four pounds from being on vacation and eating like a normal person does. Yet when people say things like that it just makes me want to revert back to unhealthy ways of just not eating. To me I don't care whether you phrase it positively like you look good with the additional weight or if it is just plain stated, people don't need to say it.

    If someone looks good tell them simply that. Because you never know who struggles with their weight no matter their size. </rant>
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
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    That is terrible that you all had to be the recipient of such bad manners! It doesn't matter if someone has gained 400 pounds, you don't say "gee have you gained weight?". The nerve of people...
    Why not? Personally, I wish somebody HAD said something to me before I had gained the hundred pounds I'm not losing. Would've saved me several years of health problems.

    I'll never understand the mentality that it's ok to just let people destroy their lives and their health without commenting. That's quite simply the most ignorantly illogical mindset I've ever heard, and does way more to hurt someone then "hey, you've put on some weight, you may need to do something about that."
  • ddickensdonna
    ddickensdonna Posts: 4
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    I've had my older generation comment on my weight and my daughters, it did hurt me more that they said something about my daughter than me, I replied as honestly as I could with a sharp jab of my own. "please...have you looked in the mirror?" My daughter is 5'7" and weighs 220. She is taking the NY state trooper exam in October. Any remarks that are being made should be of how great is that she is choosing to protect and serve all the judgmental people. I'm a mom of 3 girls, 40 years old , 5'6", and weigh 149 lbs. Let me tell you...with her few extra lbs, she can protect my *kitten* any day! Hold you head high.... BTW, she has more muscle than body fat..
  • golferd
    golferd Posts: 400 Member
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    Has anyone else ever noticed that the person who makes a comment about your weight always ends up being someone WAAAYYYY larger than you are? Its like, who are YOU of all people to talk?? And since when does someone smaller than you not have feelings??

    Hahaha that's actually true! The guy who told me I was heavier was pretty big! Didn't even think of that.

    Might be saying: I wish someone cared enough to tell me. Now look how big I am. Stop before you regret it
  • emmeylou
    emmeylou Posts: 175 Member
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    For someone to say that?? Unless the person is a close friend and the goal was to gain weight.... other than that? I can't think of a single acceptable reason to say that.

    That being said... have you been exercising? Because you may be gaining muscle mass while losing body fat. That would be a good thing! And, you wouldn't look quite as "skinny", but a child may not be able to find the word "muscular" to describe the changes :) I would think of it that way.
  • NoeHead
    NoeHead Posts: 516 Member
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    I have learned from other people's mistakes that you NEVER assume or question if someone is due unless you see a baby head popping out.

    I got the "how did you get so big?" from one of my cousins once and my dad told me when I was dating my now husband that I could do better if I lost weight. It's funny how people think I want to hear their opinions...my dad is an *kitten*. lol
  • LAnne16
    LAnne16 Posts: 272 Member
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    My parents have always been honest in telling me when I'm looking bigger or when I'm seeming really lazy etc. I appreciate it (but also get annoyed). I would make all thse excuses like "yeah I'm having a bad week" and use my depression/anxiety disorder as an excuse or say "Oh I know, I'm gonna start working on it soon"

    My nephew occasionally tells me I'm SO BIG! He usually means tall, but he also comments on my huge *kitten*... and one time (while I was measuring out some pasta, no less) he told me I eat a lot! Little jerk lol. You can't listen to kids, they don't mean anything by it (even if it's the truth)

    You have to just truck on. Now that my parents see how different my attitude this time; they's much more motivational for me. Telling me that they can definitely see my butt getting smaller or my waist shrinking, eventhough the lbs aren't really moving. They just don't want me to give up :)
  • benniesmother
    benniesmother Posts: 269 Member
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    I remember being literally 98 lb (and 5'4"), as a teenager. My "friend" poked me in the side and said "you could stand to lose a few pounds!" I think people who do/say things like that are either insecure in their own skin, or jealous of you for being strong enough to make a positive change of lifestyle!
  • clairegogogo
    clairegogogo Posts: 215
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    ALL. THE. TIME. "chubby", "thick thighs", or sugar coats it as "strong legs"....ugh :(
  • tapzookaye
    tapzookaye Posts: 1 Member
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    That is terrible that you all had to be the recipient of such bad manners! It doesn't matter if someone has gained 400 pounds, you don't say "gee have you gained weight?". The nerve of people...
    Why not? Personally, I wish somebody HAD said something to me before I had gained the hundred pounds I'm not losing. Would've saved me several years of health problems.

    I'll never understand the mentality that it's ok to just let people destroy their lives and their health without commenting. That's quite simply the most ignorantly illogical mindset I've ever heard, and does way more to hurt someone then "hey, you've put on some weight, you may need to do something about that."

    I have to ask - is that all you would have needed to reverse your gaining trend? For me, no rude or helpful comment, pressure, or even support in the world would have made a difference. The change had to start inside, before the outside influence, mattered.

    And it works in reverse too. Once you've LOST a significant amount of weight, you can't expect the 'high' of positive attention and comments to last and keep you motivated to maintain.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    I have several relatives like this. If I gain a few, they mention it. If I lose a few, they tell me I'm going to waste away. Either way I just smile and say "Yeah, I know. Thanks for noticing."

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