I have a problem.

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abigailtolin
abigailtolin Posts: 62 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi, everyone! I don't know if anyone else is having this problem, but I'm looking for support. I'm dealing with some fat-shaming at school right now, and it's getting discouraging. I mean, I'm 206 lbs. right now, and my goal weight is 145 by the end of this year. I know that I'm bigger, but it doesn't justify making fun of people because of their weight. What do you guys think? Do you guys have any problems with this?

Replies

  • meghanfleming855
    meghanfleming855 Posts: 43 Member
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    The only thing that should matter is how you feel about yourself. I know my self being at heavier weights, I feel yucky in my own skin. But at the end of the day, if I've tried my best (even if some days I don't exercise or eat great) then I am happy with myself. I try to keep my thinking positive and know that even a small step in the right direction is still the right direction. Don't let the judgements of others falter how you see yourself. You are beautiful. Those people that shame you are not happy with themselves on some level of their lives and find comfort in hurting you. Send them loving energy because they probably need it more then you think. Even if it doesn't seem possible. The more positive energy you put out the more you will recieve and the happier you will be and the more you will love yourself. Good luck on your journey
  • ForeverSunshine09
    ForeverSunshine09 Posts: 966 Member
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    Ppl are terrible. When I was in school I was constantly made fun of for my limp and leg braces. There was nothing to do about it so I just learned how to let it roll off me. Took me forever. Just realize Ppl who do that do it out of insecurities they have in themselves.
  • sunnybeaches105
    sunnybeaches105 Posts: 2,831 Member
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    Of course it's not right, but people aren't always polite or nice, and while words can, and often do, hurt you can learn to let it go. By the same token, at your age the people insulting you now don't matter. They very likely won't be in your life in another year or so.

    I'll add that the funny thing about being 18 is that you're far from realising your potential. Know that what you are now, both mentally and physically, isn't what you will or could be in the future. You still have a lot of growing up to do and that may involve some decision making on your part about what it is you want to be. I don't say this to condescend, but as something I wish I had heard more and understood at your age. If you like the way you are then stay that way and learn to love yourself. If you don't, then find the ways in which you want to change and take steps to change, and learn to love yourself. Either way, learn to love yourself. You have to be your own biggest champion in life.
  • beardybuddha73
    beardybuddha73 Posts: 53 Member
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    I've been the fat guy since third grade. I always countered with humor and smiles.

    One of my favorite lines I always used "Well, I can always lose weight. You can't lose being a *kitten*."
  • Fursian
    Fursian Posts: 526 Member
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    abigailtolin wrote: »
    Hi, everyone! I don't know if anyone else is having this problem, but I'm looking for support. I'm dealing with some fat-shaming at school right now, and it's getting discouraging. I mean, I'm 206 lbs. right now, and my goal weight is 145 by the end of this year. I know that I'm bigger, but it doesn't justify making fun of people because of their weight. What do you guys think? Do you guys have any problems with this?

    Kids, and adults can be cruel. Sorry to hear that you're going through this. Is there anyone in your life that you can talk to?

    As a side note, through all of this, it is good to read that you're taking steps to get healthy.
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,565 Member
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    How old are you, OP? Because in the other post you made about this last night you said you were a junior in high school, which means you're likely not 18.
  • engodwin
    engodwin Posts: 516 Member
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    Big Hugs!!!!
  • abigailtolin
    abigailtolin Posts: 62 Member
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    malibu927 wrote: »
    How old are you, OP? Because in the other post you made about this last night you said you were a junior in high school, which means you're likely not 18.

    Just to let everyone know, this is a really embarrassing subject, but I got held back a year when I was in 4th grade, so I won't be graduating until next year.

  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,565 Member
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    abigailtolin wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    How old are you, OP? Because in the other post you made about this last night you said you were a junior in high school, which means you're likely not 18.

    Just to let everyone know, this is a really embarrassing subject, but I got held back a year when I was in 4th grade, so I won't be graduating until next year.

    That's why I asked. I reported your other post, and I now apologize for that. But many 15-17 year olds come on MFP and we can't help them.

    Have you talked to the teachers/administration about these comments? These kids are bullying you, and it should be stopped. I remember getting those comments in junior high, and it hurt.
  • weightlossissues
    weightlossissues Posts: 28 Member
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    Just do your thing. Stop listening to them. I have been heavy all my life. 18 yrs ago I was 275. I lost down to 150. I have gained back to 200. January 2nd I started back. I am down 22 lbs. If you can get a fitbit that will help challenge you. It did me. You can do this. Keep thinking about your goal you want and above all do not let others stop you! <3
  • abigailtolin
    abigailtolin Posts: 62 Member
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    weightlossissues wrote: »
    Just do your thing. Stop listening to them. I have been heavy all my life. 18 yrs ago I was 275. I lost down to 150. I have gained back to 200. January 2nd I started back. I am down 22 lbs. If you can get a fitbit that will help challenge you. It did me. You can do this. Keep thinking about your goal you want and above all do not let others stop you! <3

    Thank you so much! I do have a Fitbit, and it is so wonderful!
  • abigailtolin
    abigailtolin Posts: 62 Member
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    malibu927 wrote: »
    abigailtolin wrote: »
    malibu927 wrote: »
    How old are you, OP? Because in the other post you made about this last night you said you were a junior in high school, which means you're likely not 18.

    Just to let everyone know, this is a really embarrassing subject, but I got held back a year when I was in 4th grade, so I won't be graduating until next year.

    That's why I asked. I reported your other post, and I now apologize for that. But many 15-17 year olds come on MFP and we can't help them.

    Have you talked to the teachers/administration about these comments? These kids are bullying you, and it should be stopped. I remember getting those comments in junior high, and it hurt.

    That's alright, don't worry about it! I'm actually planning on talking to my parents and/or the principal tomorrow if it happens again. Thanks so much!
  • Livgetfit
    Livgetfit Posts: 352 Member
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    Firstly, congratulations on your commitment to yourself. It has taken many of us a lot more time then you to make ourselves a priority and it is very admirable that you are doing it so young.

    I was bullied in High School and again at work recently. The fact of the matter is that the people who act like this are generally either a) deeply unhappy themselves (these are usually the leaders) or b) sheep who follow for fear of being different/the victim themselves.

    When I was younger, I spent a lot of time wondering how I could make them stop or treat me differently.

    As an older person, I realised that I have no control over others and applied a mantra a friend thought me instead.

    "Control the controllables"

    I empowered myself by controlling the way I felt about them (which was primarily that they were pathetic and not worth my time)
    I controlled the way I talked to myself about their comments; I would say "Am I a *kitten* as they say? I know myself better than they could ever comprehend and that is not my truth so why am I taking it on-board?"
    I controlled their place in my present life by ignoring them and their place in my future by planning to it without them or their opinions.
    I controlled my ability to handle them by nourishing my mind and body with good food and exercise meaning I was better placed to take them on.

    You will be a better person for the journey you are on and they will hopefully redeem themselves in the years to come. In the meantime, control the controllables with the number one most important controllable being your opinion of yourself.

    It should be very high as you are clearly a determined and strong young woman.

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