Negative self image a hindrance or a help?

I'm a firm believer that you cannot hate yourself thin. Thinking "I'd like to change this" is one thing, but constant negativity about yourself, I've seen lead so many people to crash and burn and binge, because they feel so much self hatred.

One thing I wish I would have worked on earlier in my journey is loving myself for what I could do, and appreciating how far I've come. It's hard to stop picking at yourself even when you get down to goal weight if you start doing it now, and then you'll be disappointed that losing the weight didn't fix your heart. It's something I still have to work at.

Don't ever let yourself think negative thoughts about your body! Catch it early and stop it. It's a habit and a hard one to kick. It brews self hate.

In my personal experience, it also often leads to unhealthy behaviors

I honestly believe the reason I am being successful with weight loss and sticking with my plan/lifestyle change this time around after so many previous attempts and failures is because I finally stopped hating my body and accepted myself the way I was. As soon as did that, I found the motivation to lose weight and keep going. I think there is a lot to be said for the cliche "love yourself" and "be kind to yourself".

When I go over on calories, I don't panic or get down on myself. I just acknowledge it happened and will temporarily delay my weight loss, then I move on with the knowledge that it will happen again but I will still be fine and still continue to lose weight and get healthier.

I never thought negative thoughts about myself. I might think that "gee, this tummy flab has got to go" Or "I better start watching my food portions because I really don't want to have to buy another size up".

I don't think negative thinking of any kind is conducive to positive outcomes.

For me negative self image was what got me started. I "felt" fat and had finally hit a point where my self loathing out weighed my need to eat whatever I wanted. TBH, it served as great fuel for my first 3-month burst of effort, but then died off. I had lost the weight (about 40 lbs), fit into a size of clothing I had never fit into, and felt really good about myself.

Then holiday season 2015 wrecked me. It started in October around my cousin's wedding, but I kept going as I found myself eating more and more and logging less and less. I hated myself for it, but it didn't help me any. I ended up gaining about 1/2 of the weight I had lost back. Now I'm realizing that being angry at myself isn't fueling me to get back on the horse.

My boyfriend actually really helped me find a new spark. What kind of person do I want to be? At first I told him "thin" but he pushed me to think beyond the superficial. In reality I want to be a healthy person, whose relationship with food is a stable one.

I agree with the above statement that there will probably be something that isn't quite "right" by someone's standards. I've lost 30 pounds since last May. Am I "happier" overall? Hard to say, really. My "numbers" are better and I guess I'm helping extend my life with better eating choices and exercise, but my stress levels are still high and I'm not getting enough sleep. If one can keep everything in balance, I salute you.
To get to the initial question, while the scale tells me I'm no longer "overweight" and my BMI number is where it should be, I'm still not convinced. I still look like a doughy suburban dad.

I'm a firm believer that you shouldn't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to your best friend -- especially because it's so hard to work on your confidence when the person you spend all of your time with is an *kitten*.

I hated and was cruel to myself for years, and it never made me any thinner. There's plenty of studies that discuss this as well; shaming, either internal or external, does not make people lose weight. It often makes them less likely to engage in healthy activities, which would, in turn, help them lose weight (if that's their goal).

I had to learn to be kind to myself and treat my body with respect and dignity. Choosing to lose weight for my own reasons, at that point, was a natural extension of the self-care that I was already engaging in.

I think most of us are guilty of negative self talk, otherwise we wouldn't be overweight! But to have the courage and honesty to step up to yourself and realize you need to lose weight, means you do care about yourself!

I used to tell myself I was 'just a fatty' and that I looked ridiculous and why would I do this myself? Then I'd get fatter.

I saw on a tv show about weight loss some great advice that I always keep in mind - Would you go up to your friend and say,"You fat slob. You look like a mess. What a loser!" ...of course you wouldn't! So why would you do it to yourself?

Ever since I remember this, I've lost weight. The positivity of people on here and thinking better of myself is what did it. I now realize what experts means by 'it's all in your head'.

I once heard a little maxim that you can get rich by being stingy, but no matter how rich you get you will still be a miser.

I think self image and diet follows this same principle. If the negative is what motivates you, what happens when the negative goes away?

It is far better to focus on the positive, on the things that will continue to motivate you in a maintenance mode. What will keep you working out and eating healthy when the scale, the mirror, and random comments from strangers give you positive feedback?

kae612 wrote: »

Do you find thinking negative things about yourself motivating or detrimental? Why or why not?

I did not find it motivating when I thought negatively about myself. When I was negative and hating myself I did extreme things to punish myself. For example, exercise was always about punishment and pain. Eating was about giving things up and restriction. I would quit what I was doing when I didn't get the result I wanted and then hate myself again. I would also be more negative and critical about other people.
When I approach myself with a positive mindset I feel good about what I am doing for me and want to keep doing it. It is like I'm giving myself a gift. I feel like I am adding to my life, strengthening my health and body, deserving to feel good. I think it has been much easier to achieve lasting results and work through problems with a positive attitude.

jgnatca wrote: »

I firmly believe that body transformation must come from a place of self-love if it is to at all be sustainable. How many hours, days, weeks, months or years are you going to waste hating how you look? Instead, be your biggest fan and cheer your successes. Do you see any football teams dragging their rears on to the field, kicking themselves for their past losses? Or do they charge out of the field, every time, acting like winners? Can't feel like a winner if in your heart you won't believe it.

This fitness coach, Johnny Straw, says the same thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eP_5poQaKQo

That was good, thanks for sharing.

(For others, it gets going right before the 3 minute mark.)

I think it's possible for self-hate to be temporarily motivating for some people, which can make it a hard habit to kick- if they only time you've successfully lost weight is by channeling self-loathing, it can feel like you HAVE to hate yourself to succeed.

But that's a miserable way to live. And if you are at all successful using that method- if total disgust is the thing keeping you on track, and then you manage to change what you hate about yourself and stop loathing yourself- you'll lose that drive and go back to the habits that eventually triggered the self-hate. So it's a vicious cycle, kind of an emotional binge and purge.

You don't have to love yourself in the sense of being totally satisfied with where you are and how you feel- if you were, why would you even be here? But you do have to have some kindness to yourself. Some understanding that your physical self is not a marker of your worth as a human, and that the weight problems that the majority of people in our culture struggle with are not worthy of hate.

Sustained success comes from appreciating that even when it doesn't look the way you'd like, your body is a marvelous machine that can do incredible things if you treat it well and practice good habits with it.

My negative self-image allowed me to ignore and willfully deny just how out of hand my weight had gotten. I'm pretty sure that's not uncommon. Psychologists have told us repeatedly that girls who are insecure and have poor body image are more likely to be overweight as adults, regardless of adolescent weight. They're also more likely to drop out of school, put up with abusive relationships, and make less money than their peers. My guess is that boys and men encounter the same negative cycles of self-hatred leading to a lack of self-care or even overriding self-preservation instincts.

Does it have to be one or the other? I don't hate my body, but I don't really love it either...Overall I tend to be more positive, though, I don't feel that negativity is good for you in the long run. Mostly I'm just trying to learn how to respect and appreciate my body instead of taking it for granted. I've also had to stop comparing and just try to treat the body I have the best I can and work to my own strengths instead of just wishing I could look different.

To answer OP, self hate might get you where you want to be, but you probably won't be happy when you get there. When you start that spiral of negativity it's not like you are likely to be able to just switch that off when you reach the magic number on the scale. If you are referring to outside negativity, well, I can only speak for myself, but that kind of 'encouragement' has never worked for me and only made me feel bad.