Karin From Santa Clarita

Hello,
I'm Karin from Santa Clarita. I am trying to change my whole approach to eating, and exercise. I am 51, and after being underweight most of my adult life, I began to slowly put on weight in at about age 38, or in my late 30's. I started to put on weight for a number of reasons; one, I became ill, and two, I directly used food as a reward system. Now, 12-15 years later, I look back and see that when I was underweight and at a normal weight, I realize I have never used food appropriately, and developed some terrible habits. The inappropriate use of food and bad eating habits, have contributed to and fueled my struggle with my weight. For many years, I have ignored my weight gain, and at times over the last few years, refused to look into the mirror (when dressing).
I have tried a Metabolic plan, Weight Watchers, and now I am here. I realize though, I have never been dedicated to truly losing the weight I have gained or simply losing weight to encompass a healthier lifestyle. My doctor too, told me to try to lose about 20 pounds, as a start. That was when I was approximately 200 pounds; am 188 pounds, today. Trying not to define yourself through images of weight numbers, or labels such as, "fat", "thin", "svelte", "trim","chunky", etc, is not easy. I still do so, while trying to remember it is the food I eat and the activity that I participate, which helps to keep me feeling good or bad.
I found Myfitnesspal about 2 years ago but rarely used the site or application. After befriending a woman that had a great deal of success with myfitnesspal, I decided to give it a real try, and chucked Weight Watchers. I like Weight Watchers but they have recently changed their program, by focusing on carbs, sugar, and caloric intake. I don't mind counting calories but I think it is very important to focus on overall nutrition and not a nutritional food energy area, as a means of caloric consumption or, focusing on which nutritional component is best for metabolism, etc. I have tried to check in, everyday but can get forgetful and negligent, which tells me, I am still not quite as dedicated to my goal, as I'd like to be.
Like many of us, I need support and would like to be a source of support, in my journey of feeling better physically, inside and through nutrition and activity.