My DH is losing too much weight since I started this!
elaineamj
Posts: 347 Member
Interesting problem to have. I am only 5ft tall while my DH is 5'11 and always been pretty lean. He's about 150lbs now (age 46). He had maybe 5-10 extra lbs and was developing a small tummy when I started MFP in January. His TDEE is likely around 2000 cals or so while I eat only about 1400 or so a day. I started cooking about 50-60% from scratch and learned a lot of yummy, low cal recipes. He lost those extra pounds in about 4-5 weeks.
Our problem is that HE HAS CONTINUED TO LOSE and is now starting to get a bit too thin.I do push him to eat more than I did - usually serving him slightly bigger portions plus he adds snacks that I don't eat. He doesn't count calories since he's always been good at naturally controlling his portions. On top of my low cal meals, he has also been wanting to eat healthier and upped his veggie intake and cut his chips intake considerably. Carrots are good for his health issues so he has been munching on carrot sticks. He prefers plain, steamed/boiled veggies, has reduced his meat intake, is staying away from sugar and peanuts, and has been extremely reluctant to add extra oils to his food (although he will cook in coconut oil).
Thankfully, he likes nuts and I'm encouraging him to eat more walnuts, pistachios, and almonds. He also eats at least 1 avocado a day. Anything else I can encourage?
Our problem is that HE HAS CONTINUED TO LOSE and is now starting to get a bit too thin.I do push him to eat more than I did - usually serving him slightly bigger portions plus he adds snacks that I don't eat. He doesn't count calories since he's always been good at naturally controlling his portions. On top of my low cal meals, he has also been wanting to eat healthier and upped his veggie intake and cut his chips intake considerably. Carrots are good for his health issues so he has been munching on carrot sticks. He prefers plain, steamed/boiled veggies, has reduced his meat intake, is staying away from sugar and peanuts, and has been extremely reluctant to add extra oils to his food (although he will cook in coconut oil).
Thankfully, he likes nuts and I'm encouraging him to eat more walnuts, pistachios, and almonds. He also eats at least 1 avocado a day. Anything else I can encourage?
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Replies
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Have him buy some ice cream to eat after he has finished all of that low-calorie, nutrient-dense stuff. If he doesn't like ice cream, look here for other options:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10326769/are-you-a-hard-gainer-please-read/p1
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10142490/a-list-of-calorie-dense-foods/p1
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Houmous with his carrot
Peanut butter or other nut butter0 -
bumping because I have the same problem... although I think icecream might solve it
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Unfortunately, he is restricting sugar and peanuts for his medical condition. *sigh* The only things I can see that would work are avocados, nuts, bananas. He does eat at least 1 banana a day, 1 avocado a day, and some nuts. He likes nuts but just can't eat that many in one sitting.
He's not a big fan of hummus, but I think I might be able to convince him if I can find a good recipe for it (he'll prefer it if I make it from scratch). At least that will bulk up his carrot sticks!
I recently switched our milk to 1% and am going to switch it to whole milk (not so good for me - but I can deal). He can also have coconut oil/milk so I think I will make more curries. Although I am groaning a bit at how calorie dense that would be for me if I up the amount of coconut milk in it! Might have to become a short order cook and split off my portion before I sneak more coconut milk in for him (this is going to make the recipe builder even more complicated - boo).0 -
Be careful with the 'he is getting too thin' talk. Guys struggle with body image just the same as women, We just generally internalize it. Be supportive of how he wants his body to look. If you classify what he sees as success as 'sick looking' or 'too thin' it will hurt him.0
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Has he tried any protein bars or drinks?0
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johnnygizmo wrote: »Be careful with the 'he is getting too thin' talk. Guys struggle with body image just the same as women, We just generally internalize it. Be supportive of how he wants his body to look. If you classify what he sees as success as 'sick looking' or 'too thin' it will hurt him.
Thanks - that's a good reminder
He's not actively looking to thin out (although he's happy to have lost his gut). Still, he does agree he needs to up his caloric intake now. He has a health condition and if he keeps losing at this rate, it will not be good for him. And he's dropping those pounds FAST! He is irregular at weighing himself and often does it in the evening with clothes on so it is hard to say exactly how fast. I'm nagging him to get more regular at it so we can monitor it better and adjust to the right caloric intake.
I just need to find more ways to incorporate additional calories from foods that he will eat to his meals. When his lunch is 1-2 pieces of grilled salmon (thankfully in coconut oil), half a plain sweet potato, and some carrot sticks, this is HARD!0 -
I split things 2/3 | 1/3 with my boyfriend. He's 6'4" and runs a few miles every morning. It's a good split when he gets ~800 cals and I get ~400.0
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I figure he is an adult... and can choose the changes he needs to make. As much as you love him, it is his own responsibility to stay in a healthy weight bracket.0
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I figure he is an adult... and can choose the changes he needs to make. As much as you love him, it is his own responsibility to stay in a healthy weight bracket.
Very true. He just has a lot of stuff on his mind right now. He has never monitored his caloric intake in his life (he's much more interested in nutritional value) so is rather clueless about the actual number of calories in anything. So it will help if I can suggest things with higher calories or increase the calorie levels in the food I cook (since I cook the bulk of our meals). It's just going to be a bit of a delicate balance since I need to watch my own calories.
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When was the last time he had a physical? If he is getting "too thin", his doctor should tell him. Some people are naturally lean.0
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Unfortunately, he is restricting sugar and peanuts for his medical condition. *sigh* The only things I can see that would work are avocados, nuts, bananas. He does eat at least 1 banana a day, 1 avocado a day, and some nuts. He likes nuts but just can't eat that many in one sitting.
He's not a big fan of hummus, but I think I might be able to convince him if I can find a good recipe for it (he'll prefer it if I make it from scratch). At least that will bulk up his carrot sticks!
I recently switched our milk to 1% and am going to switch it to whole milk (not so good for me - but I can deal). He can also have coconut oil/milk so I think I will make more curries. Although I am groaning a bit at how calorie dense that would be for me if I up the amount of coconut milk in it! Might have to become a short order cook and split off my portion before I sneak more coconut milk in for him (this is going to make the recipe builder even more complicated - boo).
Buy different milk. My husband has full fat, I don't - I done need the cals.
I'd go with larger portions and additional sides for him instead of having to make more calorific meals all together.0 -
Unfortunately, he is restricting sugar and peanuts for his medical condition. *sigh* The only things I can see that would work are avocados, nuts, bananas. He does eat at least 1 banana a day, 1 avocado a day, and some nuts. He likes nuts but just can't eat that many in one sitting.
He's not a big fan of hummus, but I think I might be able to convince him if I can find a good recipe for it (he'll prefer it if I make it from scratch). At least that will bulk up his carrot sticks!
I recently switched our milk to 1% and am going to switch it to whole milk (not so good for me - but I can deal). He can also have coconut oil/milk so I think I will make more curries. Although I am groaning a bit at how calorie dense that would be for me if I up the amount of coconut milk in it! Might have to become a short order cook and split off my portion before I sneak more coconut milk in for him (this is going to make the recipe builder even more complicated - boo).
Do you drink the milk, or is it just for cooking? Why not buy smaller containers of 1% and whole, rather than a larger container with just one option? If he doesn't like hummus, would he like ranch dressing, onion dip, guacamole, etc.? If he doesn't want to eat regular ice cream, could you make him banana "ice cream" with some chocolate syrup? This blog has what looks like a killer recipe for coconut milk "snow": http://www.dessertfortwo.com/2014/06/coconut-snow/
It seems like there could be a lot of options and solutions for you, but you're thinking a little bit too inside-the-box.0 -
How long has he been bordering "too thin"? As someone who has lost a great deal of weight not once, but twice (dang pregnancy), I've noticed that it takes a while for my body to settle into its happy place once I'm at maintenance. Assuming, he's got his caloric intake nailed down, maybe give it some time?0
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How does he feel about cheese? If I could marry cheese, I totally would, and then I would be 1,000 pounds but also quite happy. So maybe add some cheese (or cottage cheese or plain greek yogurt) to his life. Low in sugar, high in protein, super high in deliciousness.0
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My serious answer - go to a nutritionist for both of you. This way he won't be reluctant. Learn how to best cater to his body/nutritional needs and yours. Maybe it's making lean protein and veggies for you and THEN adding the coconut milk and curry to HIS portion. You can use dry flavorings and fresh herbs to flavor yours without the fat. Instead of doubling his portion, try to use calorically dense foods like dates and other dried fruit and soy rich foods.
My funny answer - stuff cookies in his mouth while he's sleeping. But only if you can move his jaw!
I'm weighing and measuring everything and hubby is not but he's swapped junk for real food. He's losing weight and I'm glad. I'm not yet jealous that he's dropping weight easily because I'm still losing but once I plateau and he's still losing, I'll be drizzling extra honey onto his cereal...joking folks! Joking.0 -
It seems like there could be a lot of options and solutions for you, but you're thinking a little bit too inside-the-box.
You are so right - which is why I reached out here hoping for more ideas. I felt completely at a loss for ideas (especially since a lot of the things I thought of are stuff he is cutting/reducing).SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »How long has he been bordering "too thin"? As someone who has lost a great deal of weight not once, but twice (dang pregnancy), I've noticed that it takes a while for my body to settle into its happy place once I'm at maintenance. Assuming, he's got his caloric intake nailed down, maybe give it some time?
Only within the last few weeks. The initial weight loss was fine, it's just that he is continuing to lose weight. The only reason I am even concerned is because of his medical condition. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it at all. He has an appt with his doctor on Friday so we'll bring it up then as well.
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It seems like there could be a lot of options and solutions for you, but you're thinking a little bit too inside-the-box.
You are so right - which is why I reached out here hoping for more ideas. I felt completely at a loss for ideas (especially since a lot of the things I thought of are stuff he is cutting/reducing).SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage wrote: »How long has he been bordering "too thin"? As someone who has lost a great deal of weight not once, but twice (dang pregnancy), I've noticed that it takes a while for my body to settle into its happy place once I'm at maintenance. Assuming, he's got his caloric intake nailed down, maybe give it some time?
Only within the last few weeks. The initial weight loss was fine, it's just that he is continuing to lose weight. The only reason I am even concerned is because of his medical condition. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry about it at all. He has an appt with his doctor on Friday so we'll bring it up then as well.
Is he bothered?0 -
1 easy way to add healthy, good for him calories is to encourage him to add olive oil to his food, its best to use uncooked oil, his eggs, his veggies, fish... or some organic butter also is good, healthy fats are good for him its good for the heart and helps the brain and the good cholesterol. Coconut oil is healthy but it actually speeds up his metabolism making him lose weight faster, imo.
He will be able to eat more nuts, if they are mixed with dried fruit such as cranberries, prunes, mixed berries or have him eat nuts with fresh grapes.0 -
Hubby and I both like eating and living healthy. It's one of the things we have in common. You two sound very much the same. Have you two set any fitness goals? Sometimes guys are motivated by getting STRONGER (rather than thick and thin). If he got in to lifting he would need to eat richer foods to fuel the muscle development. That might be an angle to approach him with.
I think you need to stock lower fat and higher fat versions of things, and feed him the richer. Besides the nuts which have already been mentioned, there's full fat Greek Yogurt, salad dressings, cheeses, and cream. How about snack chips that are labelled "natural", "organic" or "healthy", like blue corn chips?0 -
Pump some good lean meats into your diets!!0
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What's his BMI? Is he underweight or just thinner than you are used to? It's very thoughtful of you to worry about him. Hopefully some of the others' suggestions will help him up his intake0
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My wife and I are both cutting...you both need to realize what your needs are...you can eat in the same manner for the most part, but you can't have the same plan. Whether it's a cut or maintenance, he needs to eat more than you do.
I have larger portions than my wife in both a cut and in maintenance.
In a cut, she may have her protein and a huge serving of veg...I have my protein, a huge serving of veg, and a grain or starch. She has one whole egg and a couple egg whites for breakfast...I have two whole eggs and 4 eggs whites for breakfast. She has 1/4 dry oats in the morning...I have 1/3 cup dry and add and ounce of almonds. I have 2-3 snacks per day that are usually around 200 calories each...she has 1-2 snacks per day that are more in the neighborhood of 100 calories. I get desert most nights...she doesn't...etc, etc, etc, etc.
He needs to understand his needs. Also, I have a hard time believing his TDEE is 2000 calories as a 5'11" male. Even without exercise and I have a desk job and I'm somewhere between 5'9" - 5'10" and I need 2300 - 2500 just to maintain weight...with exercise I'm closer to 2800 - 3000. I cut easily on 2,300ish calories per day.0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »My wife and I are both cutting...you both need to realize what your needs are...you can eat in the same manner for the most part, but you can't have the same plan. Whether it's a cut or maintenance, he needs to eat more than you do.
I have larger portions than my wife in both a cut and in maintenance.
In a cut, she may have her protein and a huge serving of veg...I have my protein, a huge serving of veg, and a grain or starch. She has one whole egg and a couple egg whites for breakfast...I have two whole eggs and 4 eggs whites for breakfast. She has 1/4 dry oats in the morning...I have 1/3 cup dry and add and ounce of almonds. I have 2-3 snacks per day that are usually around 200 calories each...she has 1-2 snacks per day that are more in the neighborhood of 100 calories. I get desert most nights...she doesn't...etc, etc, etc, etc.
He needs to understand his needs. Also, I have a hard time believing his TDEE is 2000 calories as a 5'11" male. Even without exercise and I have a desk job and I'm somewhere between 5'9" - 5'10" and I need 2300 - 2500 just to maintain weight...with exercise I'm closer to 2800 - 3000. I cut easily on 2,300ish calories per day.
This (along with all the other comments on this thread!) is very helpful. Initially I thought he was going to be fine just eating a bit more than I was. But realistically, because I have been focusing on cooking satiating, low cal foods, he has been feeling full eating only about 1.5 times more than I do (a guess since he doesn't calorie count and I don't weigh his portions). On top of that, he has upped the amounts of plain veggies considerably and cut out a lot of junk food.
I haven't done much calculations for his TDEE either so your numbers are very helpful. I have to admit I only did a very rudimentary calculation to get at the 2,000 number. He's 46 and has never had trouble hovering around a healthy weight because he's somewhat active (although with little purposeful exercise) and he has no issues controlling portion sizes without thinking about it.
And maybe I just want to try to "sneak" more calories in since it's bothering me more than it's bothering him (like a PP pointed out lol!). Right now his focus is to increase nutrition, hence the extra veggies. Combine that with my focus on low-cal meals....I don't want my own diet to cause him under-eating problems, especially with his medical issues.0 -
I'm 5"4 and female and my TDEE is more than 2000 .... that's just your DH's daily expenditure to maintain ... my BF is 6"2 and he needs at least 3300, mine is more like 2300...
You may need to make some adjustments in your portion sizes or types of foods. It's not too hard to make substitutes for basics like pasta so he eats the pasta and you eat the spaghetti squash pasta 0 -
Why not buy whole for him and whatever you want for yourself? I always do almond milk and my husband drinks whole. Its a pain in the butt but usually I have something up different or add to what I made myself for dinner. For instance tonight is pasta and red sauce for me and cream butter sauce for him.
I recently switched our milk to 1% and am going to switch it to whole milk (not so good for me - but I can deal). He can also have coconut oil/milk so I think I will make more curries. Although I am groaning a bit at how calorie dense that would be for me if I up the amount of coconut milk in it! Might have to become a short order cook and split off my portion before I sneak more coconut milk in for him (this is going to make the recipe builder even more complicated - boo).
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Glad I got concerned. I made him go over everything he ate so far today and I am guesstimating it was 500 calories before dinner. *sigh*
Thought I was cooking a higher cal eggplant curry for dinner. Finished building the recipe after DH ate a big portion - 500 or so cals (he ate before I could weigh) is what he ate. I'm getting too good at the skinny recipe thing lol. So that's 1000 calories so far today.
We talked tonight and he agreed he would do better - he did admit to being a bit hungry after dinner. His strategy will be to eat more nuts and more avocados. Also will start adding chia seeds to his water. He doesn't want to eat more cream, rice, potatoes, pasta, etc.
Also, we are having a romantic getaway this weekend and will be primarily eating Thai food (his fave) - and he won't be able to stop the chefs from adding extra oils.0
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