just can't set my mind to it ..

Dleena · February 2016

Hello everyone,

I am in a bit of a rut here. I am a mom of three little ones and I have tried this loosing weight process three times so far. After 1st and 2nd child was born, I was very motivated and lost all the extra lbs that I gained during pregnancy. Lost 40 lbs after my 1st and 30 lbs after my 2nd. This time round, I am just having the hardest time. I started off well a while back and lost couple lbs and then just fell off the wagon completely. I got back on and fell off again. Now, I am at a point where I am just not caring what I am eating. I am gradually gaining back lbs and sadly, my husband is not helping in this at all and he's always bringing in food that I should stay away from. The other day I was at a function where I saw everyone that I knew was in great shape and looked so damn good. I fell so uncomfortable in my clothes and the way I looked so I immediately put back on my heavy winter jacket. I honestly have not been here much either becaue I am just not finding support like I did last time. I don't know ..how to get back to it. My heart wants to get back in shape and feel good about myself but my mind just won't let it happen ... please I would appreciate your advise and tips that you can offer. And please I don't want any harsh comments because I aready feel pretty low about myself .. Thank you so much !

andrewjbaker1984 · February 2016

Don't feel low about yourself. You may not be the weight you want to be or look the way you may want to look (and I doubt that's as bad as you think) but I bet you've got loads of other things going for you. Don't let your weight define how happy you are or your self worth because there's no reason why it should.

If you want to make some positive changes, why don't you just start off slowly? If you're in a rut - which we all get into - kicking all your bad habits at once and going cold turkey is going to be hard. Why not just slowly start to improve things, even if it's cutting out chocolate one or two nights a week (if that's your weakness... It's certainly mine!), maybe going for the odd walk etc? Once you do that, you will slowly lose a bit of weight, then you can pick things up, maybe only eat the chocolate on the weekends, go for a longer walk, cut out biscuits 3 days a week (another of my vices)

Don't pressure on yourself so that you feel disappointed when you fail. It's not a race. It's not about how fast it comes off, it's about how long it stays off.

Good luck. I'm sure you will be fine

SKILL22 · February 2016

I feel your pain. Been up and down in weight for past 10 years. I feel so uncomfortable about it right now it's not even funny. I'm starting a new program on Tuesday and am going to stick to it. Not beat myself up over how I look anymore and start doing something about it. I might not be perfect every day and that's ok. As long as i'm making the strides to be healthy and lose weight I'll be happy.

I think the best advice I can give you is that you have done it before, so you are capable of losing the weight. It's harder as we get older and are busier with more kids, but completely doable. It's up to you to set some time aside for yourself to workout or exercise daily. Make some better choices with the nutrition. Be active with the kiddos. You can do this!

distinctlybeautiful · February 2016

I guess the first thing I'd do is think about how I was able to be successful before. Think about what strategies worked for you before, but also think about the whole picture. Maybe there was something in your life before that was more conducive to losing weight.

Then I'd try to start looking at this as a lifestyle change, not a diet. Then you can't fall off the wagon because you can't fall off life!

Can you force yourself to care about one meal? Try eating one nutritious snack or meal in place of a usual, less nutritious choice. Momentum is a wonderful thing, so if you can create some, it may feel easier.

Otherwise I guess I just want to commiserate because I've been where you are, and it's a hard place to be. You can add me if you want.. I try to stay active and supportive around here.

julezy88 · February 2016

I know how hard it is, I worked really hard to lose 2 stone after my first but 5 months ago I had my 2nd and those two stone are back! It's very disheartening but don't worry u clearly can do it as you have done it twice already! Just go for it.

I'm looking for support too so I will add u and we can help motivate each other x

Dleena · February 2016

@distinctlybeautiful @andrewjbaker1984 @ChapterOfSkill

Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond to my little vent here. I was literally tearing up reading such supporting responses. My life definetely is not the same as it use to be. With three kids, it really is much harder. My youngest is a special child and has a heart problem that's constantly monitered. So, taking time out to go to the gym like I use to is just not an option anymore. I tried working out at home and I keep failing because I just don't feel motivated enough. I am someone who needs to go to the gym and see other people pushing themselves. I am active with my kids which is probably why I am gaining gradually instead of gaining weight back quickly. I know nutrition is where I am failing big time. I don't eat sweets that often, but I crave salty snacks

Iam going to try again and take baby steps... thank you all so much once again.

andrewjbaker1984 · February 2016

Dleena wrote: »

@distinctlybeautiful @andrewjbaker1984 @ChapterOfSkill

Thank you all so much for taking the time to respond to my little vent here. I was literally tearing up reading such supporting responses. My life definetely is not the same as it use to be. With three kids, it really is much harder. My youngest is a special child and has a heart problem that's constantly monitered. So, taking time out to go to the gym like I use to is just not an option anymore. I tried working out at home and I keep failing because I just don't feel motivated enough. I am someone who needs to go to the gym and see other people pushing themselves. I am active with my kids which is probably why I am gaining gradually instead of gaining weight back quickly. I know nutrition is where I am failing big time. I don't eat sweets that often, but I crave salty snacks Iam going to try again and take baby steps... thank you all so much once again.

It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of things then. Nobody can be perfect and I think you should concentrate on all the positive things you do and all the successes you have rather than what you perceive to be the negative things.

There's nothing wrong with taking baby steps. If you wanted to start running you wouldn't try and run a marathon next week, you'd build up slowly to it. In my view, losing weight and exercising is no different to that. Slowly but surely and you'll get there.

Also perhaps ask your husband to eat the bad stuff when you're not around - even if it's when you're simply having a bath or talking to your friends on the phone.

Dleena · February 2016

Thank you so much Andrew. I sure am dealing with a lot but at the same time I know I need to take care of myself too. I am going to try baby steps again and try not to get too discouraged. Thank you kindly for your responses and for the support. @andrewjbaker1984

amandacagle560 · February 2016

I don't have any kids, but over the past 10 years I have been struggling with my weight. Being anywhere from 140-205. It has taken 1.5 years, but I've finally managed to get back down where I feel comfortable. I feel your pain with this struggle! Just keep going, you've done it before so you know deep down you can make it happen again. Please add me so we can help motivate each other this time around!

Dleena · February 2016

@amandacagle560 thank you so much for your encouraging words Amanda. I just added you. I need all the support I can get

just can't set my mind to it ..

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