Hate How I Look

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CFoust72591
CFoust72591 Posts: 62 Member
in Motivation and Support
No matter how much weight I lose, I still HATE the way I look. I hate my body, and feel like I'm constantly comparing myself to others, favoring others. Does anybody else experience this? How do you push past these feelings and just keep working on moving toward a body you will finally like to look at? I'm 5'6" 161lbs, my goal WAS 150 but as I'm getting closer I've revised it to 140...

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  • CFoust72591
    CFoust72591 Posts: 62 Member
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    Also, I've lost almost 25 pounds now and see NO difference in how I look. =/
  • giantwisdom
    giantwisdom Posts: 22 Member
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    Don't focus on weight, focus on body composition. How you look is all about your body composition and NOT about your weight.

    An illustrative example: Two girls, both 5'6", both 130 lbs. One can look stunning and the other pudgy but both are the same height and weight and have the same body mass index (BMI). A 5'6", 130 lb girl with 12-15% bodyfat will look like an elite fitness or Crossfit competitor. A 5'6", 130 lb girl with 30% bodyfat will look totally average and "skinny fat", with no definition or tone to her body.

    My bet is you're losing weight but your bodyfat % is not changing as quickly as your weight is, which is why you're unhappy with your look. I guarantee you that if you get down to 15-20% bodyfat, you will be overjoyed with your look no matter how much you weigh.
  • southheadstef
    southheadstef Posts: 50 Member
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    Don't lose heart, cp! It all takes time! ( And I think you look lovely in your photo
  • GuineaKitty
    GuineaKitty Posts: 97 Member
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    Try looking in the mirror and find one body part you like focus on that. After a week pick another and focus on those two. Work on your problem areas and take note when you see improvement. That is what I did. Good luck in loving your body.
  • positivepowers
    positivepowers Posts: 902 Member
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    cparmenter72591 wrote: »
    No matter how much weight I lose, I still HATE the way I look. I hate my body, and feel like I'm constantly comparing myself to others, favoring others. Does anybody else experience this? How do you push past these feelings and just keep working on moving toward a body you will finally like to look at? I'm 5'6" 161lbs, my goal WAS 150 but as I'm getting closer I've revised it to 140...

    This could be Body Dysmorphic Syndrome. Please find a support group or therapist trained to recognize and treat this if necessary.
  • rebecca_chess
    rebecca_chess Posts: 101 Member
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    Maybe pull out a "before" photo and put it beside a "now" photo. Sometimes I can't see it in the mirror, but I can in pictures. Good luck on your journey dear.....I had to conquer the "love the skin you're in" thing also....watching Jillian on TBL, reading some of her books, and reading articles about loving myself as I am were greatly helpful.
  • scolaris
    scolaris Posts: 2,145 Member
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    Look @ this thread...

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10340443/how-much-does-it-look-like-i-weigh-dont-obsess-over-your-scale#latest
  • scolaris
    scolaris Posts: 2,145 Member
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    Recomp is the game changer.
    Also, try to determine your approximate lean body mass using a measurement based algorithm online & photo comparison... Knowing about how much LBM you carry will help you realize what is a realistic weight range for you. Sometimes people want to travel back in time to a version of themselves that doesn't exist any more. I had disordered eating & practiced a low grade form of anorexia athletica as a teen. It took years to slowly regain weight. Now, twenty five years on, two healthy pregnancies & the physical labor of a garden design business later my approximate LBM is more than my wedding day weight! So I will never go back to THAT number on the scale, but I can lean myself out to look that good again at a new higher weight.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    do you lift weights?

    If not start yesterday. Strength training is the key for changing body composition.

    Check out stronglifts, starting strength, strong curves, new rules of lifting for examples of programs, if you don't already have one. Also ensure you get enough protein.
  • Chargunshow
    Chargunshow Posts: 60 Member
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    Try focusing on what your body can DO! Lift weights and get stronger. Train for a race. Make a goal that challenges you physically and be awesome at it.
  • _Figgzie_
    _Figgzie_ Posts: 3,506 Member
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    Chargunshow wrote: »
    Try focusing on what your body can DO! Lift weights and get stronger. Train for a race. Make a goal that challenges you physically and be awesome at it.

    +1, I think REAL change in the body occurs when muscle is gained and fat is lost. Just focusing on weight loss will make you lose both fat and muscle............you will be smaller but still soft............resistance training will help you keep / build muscle and torch that body fat with a caloric deficit!!!!!!! you can do it, you're doing great
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
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    cparmenter72591 wrote: »
    No matter how much weight I lose, I still HATE the way I look. I hate my body, and feel like I'm constantly comparing myself to others, favoring others. Does anybody else experience this? How do you push past these feelings and just keep working on moving toward a body you will finally like to look at? I'm 5'6" 161lbs, my goal WAS 150 but as I'm getting closer I've revised it to 140...

    So far, it looks like you have done a great job. Weight is also about health, not only looks.
    Regarding appearance, your initial goal weight woudl put you at the higher end of healthy BMI, which is a very reasonable goal for health reasons.
    But, depending on body type, this might or might not look good on you. There is not a set number where you will be happy, you will have to decide as you get closer to goal.
    To give you an example, I am about your height, I am happy in the 120s range, since I have a very small frame. Someone else the same height might look good with 20 or 30 more lbs. You will just have to figure it out as you lose weight. Exercise helps a lot when it comes to appearance, and patience ;)
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    get your *kitten* in a gym and start a lifting programme

    stronglifts 5x5
    starting strength
    ice cream fitness

    keep losing weight

    get fierce on your negativity and stop wallowing

    :)
  • briegirl28
    briegirl28 Posts: 121 Member
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    You are beautiful! Realize that you have a negative view of your body that has more to do with your thinking than with reality. Maybe consider counseling as many of us are taught to dislike our looks so much, that we can't imagine liking ourselves unless we are a certain weight. Even women that have lost weight will still say they view or see themselves as a heavy or fat or overweight person. That's not the truth. That's damaged self esteem talking. You are more beautiful than you realize. You just need to work in retraining your brain to see how beautiful and talented you are.

    We aren't born hating ourselves. We are taught either by society or by negative experiences. We have to actively retrain on minds to see how valuable and beautiful we are. ((Hugs))
  • amandacagle560
    amandacagle560 Posts: 20 Member
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    Don't be so hard on yourself! When you look in the mirror, just think about how far you HAVE come! That always helps me when I fall off the bandwagon for a day or so. You are worth so much more! Keep going! Please add me so we can help each other stay motivated!
  • harrybananas
    harrybananas Posts: 292 Member
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    Sounds like there are issues that are more than skin deep.
  • CFoust72591
    CFoust72591 Posts: 62 Member
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    Thanks for the replies everyone. I started the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred today. I know that's not intensive, but it's been a few months since I've really worked out, so it's a good start for me. Also, I don't have the time for the gym right now, but by the end of March my work should slow down enough for me to MAKE time. I have no idea how to start except to use the resistance machines. The rest of it is too intimidating and I don't know how to use it and feel stupid asking...
  • positivepowers
    positivepowers Posts: 902 Member
    edited February 2016
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    cparmenter72591 wrote: »
    Thanks for the replies everyone. I started the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred today. I know that's not intensive, but it's been a few months since I've really worked out, so it's a good start for me. Also, I don't have the time for the gym right now, but by the end of March my work should slow down enough for me to MAKE time. I have no idea how to start except to use the resistance machines. The rest of it is too intimidating and I don't know how to use it and feel stupid asking...

    Fitness Blender is a website dedicated to fitness. They have dozens of videos including strength training, yoga/stretching and aerobics. The the intensity (ranked 1-5) varies, as well as the use of equipment (like kettlebells) or not, and length of videos. Be careful, some of the short ones are really intense. The website is free, too.

    I still encourage you to talk to someone about this. A counselor, psychologist or a support group.

    https://www.fitnessblender.com/
  • finnsgma
    finnsgma Posts: 55 Member
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    First off, you have AWESOME hair!! OK, now that I got that said, your brain might need time to catch up with your body. I know for me, after I had lost a lot of weight and was in smaller clothes, the 225 pound blob still stared back at me in the mirror on my lowest days. I would catch myself feeling like nothing had changed and what was the point of all my hard work if I still "looked" the same. But obviously I didn't look the same, I just had a hard time accepting how my body had changed. What finally turned it around for me was when I went for my yearly physical (which had been 3 because I was so embarrassed to go) and my lab tests came back so drastically different (and fabulous) that my doctor wanted to know exactly what I was doing to help other patients :) My cholesterol went from 220 to 117 and it was almost all GOOD cholesterol!!!! My blood pressure had gone from 160/94 to 106/68! I realized that this was proof that my hard work was making changes I couldn't "see" when I looked in the mirror. Anytime I felt discouraged, I would pull out that card with my lab results. I also found some older pics on Facebook that horrified me and realized that in order to be horrified by past pictures, I must look different now. Good luck. You will get there.

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