Why are you in this? [rant]

I am in it to win it!!! I basically want to lose a few pounds around my waist line. That is because I am prone to heart disease and diabetes. In fact, I have two congenital heart diseases already. I have always been petite, 4'11'' so even gaining little weight shows and trust me, IT SHOWS!! I have decided I want to eat healthier too and stop feeding my body so much crap. All these stupid little diets that never work made me realized I was setting a bad example for my 13 year old daughter. I want her to be confident and not care so much about weight. However, I want her to be conscious of what she is putting into her body. I want her to learn to hydrate like we are supposed to and I want her to pick a piece of wheat bread with peanut butter over a chocolate bar. I want her to grow up healthy. I understand that I have to do it myself before I can teaching her so.

Thank you for saying all of these things I have been thinking! I have a desire to write a rant like this almost every time I get on MFP and read some of the posts on the forum!

Great post!

Um. yeah, I do know how I got to where I am. The first pounds came when I started on birth control pills when I was 19--I had been a high school athlete and pageant queen. I gained that weight in just a few short months without any change to diet or exercise--I have more stretch marks from that than when I was pregnant. Then, because I wasn't an advocate for myself, I allowed doctors to concinve me that it was just a matter of finding the right one for me. Over the next couple of years, I developed a whole host of problems--swollen joints, elevated liver enzymes, debilitating fatigue. I nearly had to drop out of University. Every specialist was convinced that I had cancer or hepatitis or HIV or lupus...none would even entertain the idea that it was the birth control pills. Desperate, and a little wiser, I decided to stop them anyway. Incredibly, most of my symptoms were alleviated within a year. I never managed to lose that weight--despite working with a licensed nutritionist and trainer.

That is how my weight struggle began. I still struggle with many unexplainable aches and pains...attributed to Fibromyalgia some years ago.

Unfortunately, the rest of life set in. Financial struggles, long work hours, business travel, multiple miscarriages, and finally a kid.

I know the right foods to eat. I even know what are healthy portions...somewhere along the way I stopped caring and my ability to jusge healthy portions got distorted. I developed severe sleep apnea and that further interfered with my ability to function normally.

I am fat. That does not automatically make me lazy or slovenly. I am active, work hard, and take care of my daughter. Now that I have my sleep apnea treated, I have twice the energy of people half my size. I didn't get here because I was lazy...but I'm also not losing weight because I want to be skinny. I want to be healthy.

Failure is possible with any method.

My weight loss journey is my own.

It shouldn't matter to anyone how or why I am doing it.

I agree. I've done a lot of fad diets because I wanted results NOW.

This time was (is) different. This isn't a fad diet, heck this isn't a diet at all. It is a lifestyle change. I've learned a lot in the last almost 18 months. I've learned to read labels, what a correct serving size is... etc.

I've learned that pop, fast food and other "empty foods" aren't worth the calories, fat, sodium, etc that I will consume when I eat them. Plus, they just don't taste good.

I agree with you that there are 2 different mindsets - the "LOSE IT NOW!" and the "I want to change my life completely". To me, this journey wasn't just about weight loss.