are some folks actually happy being extremely overweight?
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Just to clarify.. I asked if she's really happy being overweight and not if she's happy with life.0
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salembambi wrote: »look up: feeder fetish
ok bye
This0 -
I don't know that happiness has a ton do with your weight. It's a state of mind. Fatness is a state of body.
I was happy fat. I'm happy now that I've lost some weight. I had moments of dissatisfaction when I was heavier because there were things I wanted to do that weren't all that fun due to my size. But I didn't dislike myself in anyway. My general awesomeness still shined through. Now my pants fit better. I think it's wrong to say fat people can't be happy.0 -
FunbagsMcGee wrote: »I think you can be happy DESPITE being extremely overweight, but I don't think many peoples happiness is caused by being overweight.paperpudding wrote: »I disagree.
Not everyone's self confidence comes from being a certain size and not everyone needs boundless energy to be happy.
And not everyone who is extremely over weight has never been thin.
I think it is arrogant and presumptuous to decide whether other people could be happy or not.
Whether they are healthy is another matter.diannethegeek wrote: »In the case of the woman from the show, she suffered from a pretty severe eating disorder before the show. Accepting and finding peace and happiness with her weight seems to be part of dealing with those disordered patterns while trying to lose at a safer pace.
In general, yes people can be happy without loving every aspect of their current position.
I think these are all good points. I've never entirely grasped the "intuitive eating" concept but I know people that have turned to this and stopped focusing on their weight (which, yes, sometimes also means not focusing on health) because they felt so miserable and obsessive when they were counting calories, points, etc. which for them led to seriously disordered eating. So, the idea of not dieting or scrutinizing what they eat is probably a big source of happiness for some people.
I personally look at people that work out a million hours a week and wonder how they can be happy, but it's the same thing as the original scenario- different things make different people happy.
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Everyone is different in terms of personal satisfaction (happiness?) with weight, family life, work, etc. All I have is my personal experiences of being on this planet for 46 years. I have to say in all of my interactions I have never met someone who is truly happy with their physical self at 50+ pounds overweight.
People I am close to have opened up and every time I see the same patterns, mostly projecting that it "doesn't bother them" when in fact it does. We have all heard the lines, "I am not going to be a slave to the scale, life's too short to not eat what I want, if I go then I go happy, etc etc etc". These are the same people asking me how I dropped weight followed up with "I really got to do something". We all wear masks at different times. I think the show is beyond stupid, and the couple times I have been subjected to it I feel she is merely acting.......0 -
Our weight should not define us. So yes, people who are very overweight may very well be quite happy in life. Because w person's weight is not the only factor in their life. I've watched the show a few times, and I haven't actually heard her say she's happy being fat and wants to stay that way. The exact opposite actually, the couple of episodes I've watched had her at the doctor doing tests, visiting with friends, and working out. Slow or fast, hard or easy, she's trying. She isn't lazy, or complacent.0
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Sirius66TheBeat wrote: »Just to clarify.. I asked if she's really happy being overweight and not if she's happy with life.
No, here's what you said
"and she seems to be so happy to be fat. "Empowered" because she's fine with being fat. Is she just full of crap? See, she never said she's "fine" with being fat. She has health problems, made worse by being fat...she knows that. Where is she full of crap? Is it because she dances, and laughs alot, and seems to have a great time, despite her size? Should she be crying and sitting in a puddle on the floor, complaining about herself?0 -
The can be happy even if they are not happy with their weight.
zbakrjc
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FunbagsMcGee wrote: »I think you can be happy DESPITE being extremely overweight, but I don't think many peoples happiness is caused by being overweight.
Yes, this is what I think.
I also think some people can feel more uncomfortable being a healthy weight because they are bothered by attention and liked some of the protection from that that being overweight brought.0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »FunbagsMcGee wrote: »I think you can be happy DESPITE being extremely overweight, but I don't think many peoples happiness is caused by being overweight.
Yes, this is what I think.
I also think some people can feel more uncomfortable being a healthy weight because they are bothered by attention and liked some of the protection from that that being overweight brought.
I've seen this too, it's like a protective coat they wear against the world. And also, if being large is all you've ever known, trying to be otherwise, risking failure in front of the world, can be a very scary deal.0 -
I can't speak for other people but I personally am miserable when I'm fat. I'm also not very happy when I can't eat whatever the heck I want, but I choose my poison. I'd rather be happy in my skin long term then be temporarily happy indulging in food that will make me fat and miserable. So I'll have one slice of pizza instead of the 4 that I wish I could have. *shrugs*0
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paperpudding wrote: »I disagree.
Not everyone's self confidence comes from being a certain size and not everyone needs boundless energy to be happy.
Agree with this. I was never overweight in my teens and early to mid 20s, but I was sorely lacking in self-confidence in a lot of respects and not very happy. I gained weight at times after that (and wasn't happy about how I looked or being less fit), but despite that I was generally happy for much of the time I was overweight, and it coincided with periods in which I grew in self-confidence. My biggest crisis in terms of depression and self-hatred happened when I was 120, which isn't overweight for me at all.
I prefer not being overweight and being fit, but I don't think it determines my happiness or self-confidence. I do think exercise generally helps.0 -
I don't know where this fits into the discussion, if it all, but my MIL was quite obese. She really just loved food. They ate out daily and she didn't do a whole lot of anything. Of course, I have no idea what went on in her head, but she was a very happy person and openly looked forward to the next good meal. She and my FIL had a late-in-life child- again, very happy about it and no stress about it at all. She had been diagnosed many years before with inherited kidney disease and had been given a life expectancy of about 10 years. Diet and weight control was a crucial part of the management of this disease, but even after her son was born, she actually came out and said to me that she would rather die earlier than give up the things that made her happy. And she honestly remained positive, relaxed, & happy even as complications from the kidney disease began to ravage her body. (She actually made it until her son turned 16.) A few weeks before her death, she was over having a great time with her grandkids... and enjoying another great meal. I became obese as an adult as well, and her lack of concern drove me insane, because I am uber-responsible and am conscious of every wrong step I take. In the past, I never over-indulged without guilt. I lived with it every moment and was always unhappy. She seemingly never gave it a second thought, and led (to her) a happy, content life. Make what you will of it.0
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I don't think the girl on the show is happy being overweight. She's a dancer and she's mentioned that some of the things she was able to do when she was thin she struggles with now. I think the point of her show is that people shouldn't be shamed for being whatever body size they are. She has PCOS so her weight gain came from that. She is also fighting to not become diabetic, and trying to be healthier. She's trying to be comfortable in her own skin but I don't think she loves being fat. I think she loves herself.0
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Yes, a person can be happy being extremely overweight. If a person's happiness is limited to some area of her life not being exactly how she wants it, that is a recipe for being miserable because there is always something about your life or your appearance that could change or be improved for most people.0
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JustMissTracy wrote: »Sirius66TheBeat wrote: »Just to clarify.. I asked if she's really happy being overweight and not if she's happy with life.
No, here's what you said
"and she seems to be so happy to be fat. "Empowered" because she's fine with being fat. Is she just full of crap? See, she never said she's "fine" with being fat. She has health problems, made worse by being fat...she knows that. Where is she full of crap? Is it because she dances, and laughs alot, and seems to have a great time, despite her size? Should she be crying and sitting in a puddle on the floor, complaining about herself?
as i mentioned, i never watched the show and basing my opinion only off the commercials I've seen (yes, i know its not enough to know how she REALLY feels) where she looks like she enjoys being fat and the fact that I hate being fat, so i can't imagine someone being happy being fat and all the complications that come with it. I've seen plenty of other ads/interviews where a fat woman calls herself empowered because she embraces her fatness. No idea how someone can embrace not being able to bend over or run out of breath after walking a few minutes.
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FunbagsMcGee wrote: »I think you can be happy DESPITE being extremely overweight, but I don't think many peoples happiness is caused by being overweight.
Basically, this... I know someone who is a few hundred pounds overweight, and I know that they have a lot of issues with depression, self-imagine, etc. I've never been there, so I can't attest personally, but this has always made me curious as well. I'm sure people can learn to love the skin their in, but with all the possible health risks and just overall lack of ease in doing so many things/inconvenience that being so overweight can cause, I can't help but imagine that has a really big negative impact on your overall quality of life...
Of course some people may not realize how much better they could feel if they were to work towards a healthy weight. Hell, even I didn't know what a difference healthy eating and exercise could do for my depression/anxiety, etc, even without being overweight, personally... It's a really long, tough road though. Especially if (like this friend) you've been overweight all your life. There's usually deep-seated psychological issues/causes that people don't realize or take into consideration.
Overall, I don't think anyone wants to be overweight, or honestly enjoys it. But I also don't think that should stop someone from living their life and being happy on other grounds...0 -
The jigging does not feel good. I call bs.
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I'd assume her happiness comes less from being fat, but rather it likely comes from coming to terms with her body. Fat or thin, that's something not everybody does in their lifetimes. And if you can come to terms with your body then yes, I imagine she is happy being fat because she's fat and alive, fat and full of life, etc. etc.0
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I'd like to think my happiness/sense of self worth isn't totally dependent upon the # on the scale. I've been slightly overweight, I've been anorexic - right now, I'd guess you'd say I'm ' normal' as far as weight goes. Happiness - I can tell you, I was the most miserable when I was anorexic....so - for me - 'thinner' doesn't equal 'happiest'.0
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I think the real question is, "Are they happy with themselves and do they feel good about themselves?" Sure, they can be happy. I am happy with my family, but I'm unhappy with myself. Happiness isn't all or nothing. You can be happy in one area of your life and unhappy in another. That said, I agree with the original post in that I know how I feel about myself and I am not "extremely" overweight. I think that a person who claims to be comfortable being overweight or obese to the degree of having a hard time walking, functioning, and breathing, as well as experiencing the side effects of poor health, can not be truly happy with his or herself. But, they may be happy in other areas of life. IMO
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Sinistrous wrote: »The jigging does not feel good. I call bs.
Jigging is the practice of fishing with a jig, a type of fishing lure. A jig consists of a lead sinker with a hook molded into it and usually covered by a soft body to attract fish. Jigs are intended to create a jerky, vertical motion, as opposed to spinnerbaits which move through the water horizontally.
I'll care tomorrow. Maybe.
Or not.0 -
DatGuy_Bry wrote: »They say they're happy because they don't know what it's like to be thin. The boundless energy, the self confidence, etc. They can only judge on what they know. So no, there's no way that they're "happy". They're just comfortable. Complacent.
You are clearly not happy.
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enterdanger wrote: »I don't know that happiness has a ton do with your weight. It's a state of mind. Fatness is a state of body.
I was happy fat. I'm happy now that I've lost some weight. I had moments of dissatisfaction when I was heavier because there were things I wanted to do that weren't all that fun due to my size. But I didn't dislike myself in anyway. My general awesomeness still shined through. Now my pants fit better. I think it's wrong to say fat people can't be happy.
This
I was 350lbs and awesome ... I loved myself no matter what I weighed and I was heavy most of my adult life. I lost the weight not because I was miserable, but I started having problems getting around. So I lost almost 200 lbs and guess what I still love myself the same amount - not any more or less than I did before I lost the weight. Everyone is different and there will be a host of differing opinions about this0 -
Speaking for myself only, I'd say she's full of crap. I've put up a great front for all the years that I've been this way. It's been difficult to lose the weight due to health issues and any time I've ever expressed being unhappy, I receive an immediate "well, do something about it" from someone who has ZERO clue what it's like - the pain, the hopelessness. So rather than keep getting those looks like I was making excuses, I just put on a happy face, while I was dying inside. I've never given up completely because I know that will only make it worse. So while I may have been losing the same 20 lbs for the last few years, at least I haven't put on an additional 20 lbs.
I will never give up. I want this too bad.0 -
I want to put out there that, also, not everyone cares if they're healthy or not even if other people can't understand why they wouldn't want to be.
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enterdanger wrote: »I don't know that happiness has a ton do with your weight. It's a state of mind. Fatness is a state of body.
I was happy fat. I'm happy now that I've lost some weight. I had moments of dissatisfaction when I was heavier because there were things I wanted to do that weren't all that fun due to my size. But I didn't dislike myself in anyway. My general awesomeness still shined through. Now my pants fit better. I think it's wrong to say fat people can't be happy.
You are awesome, @enterdanger !0 -
It might be hard for those of us here to understand the idea of being happy fat, because the reason why we spend alot of our time and energy on tracking what we eat and reading the forums on MFP is because...surprise...we as a group are not happy being fat.
I think that for some people, they are happy with their life and the way they spend their time, and pursuing weight loss and fitness isn't a priority. But choosing to spend one's time on activities and choices that don't lead to being thin is not the same thing as preferring to be fat. Just a different set of choices. Happy is good, and may we all find happy more often in our lives
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i've lost 101 lbs since joining mfp last january. i was still happy when i was a hundred pounds heavier. i was not happy because i was fat. i was happy because i worked on being positive and a good person. i loved myself. i love myself for those same reasons now that i have lost weight. saying, why would you bother to lose weight then? is like saying, why go to college or accomplish any goal you want/need to achieve. you do so to better yourself and continue your growth toward your full potential. i have a friend who did a video documentary on sexy fat women. i think some folks do feel good in their fat bodies. these women seemed to... different strokes...0
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