Binge eating

I'm open to talking!

I've never had an eating disorder, but I have had some hugely unhealthy attitudes to food in my time. I had a terrible relationship with my mother, who was controlling and a 'feeder'. I was always a "good sturdy girl" and loved food, if was the only pleasure sensor I was allowed access to. Then at 17 I realised I didn't want to be self conscious, so I decided to cut back. This annoyed my mum, which seemed like a bonus! My cutbacks turned into a very rigid diet which turned into downright starvation and morsels. I looked unhealthily thin, and my warped brain couldn't have been more pleased. Me! ME! I was actually thin!! Hunger was my friend. Then, one day, I broke. I was hungry, no, I was bloody starving! I binged and gorged and my stomach swelled like a balloon against my stick body, and I told myself "tomorrow I'll not eat, it's ok" but I couldn't stop. I never purged. I tried to normalise my diet again, and was lucky to have great friends around me, but I couldn't seem to figure out how to eat a normal amount. In the end I discovered slimming world and used it for a few years. It allowed me to have days where I could 'binge' on free foods like pasta or eggs or chicken until I was full to the neck, but the weight didn't follow. It saved my sanity! Now, I've been able to go back to just normal eating, my portion control is in hand and I don't use food to deal with my emotions any more, I am free! A few years ago I would never have believed that what had such a hold over me for so long would no longer exist but it is gone. Also, be forgiving to yourself. I know I was very hard on myself at the time, but one massive element is to love yourself in all your phases of life.

Hello, and I am sorry to hear about your struggles with binging. But like @StealthHealth said I started a group for Binge Eating there are a lot of similar stories to what you have shared. I am be no means an expert just someone who battled this alone for years not knowing why I was doing what I was doing. But then I got help and wanted to make a group where people could come and share what they were going through positive or negative in the hopes that their story could help to lift up someone struggling as well. But just know that you are not alone in this fight and that there is help all around you.