Ideas for living with a Mexican MIL?
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JeepHair77
Posts: 1,291 Member
You know how hard it is to eat at restaurants? Well, it's way, way harder to eat at my own dang house.
My MIL lives with us. She cooks dinner for us every night, it's usually about ready when we get home from work. And her food is GOOD. She doesn't cook from a recipe, but she does use almost exclusively whole foods - fresh meat, fresh veggies, etc. She rarely fries anything, I'd say what she does is more of a sauté? I know she uses vegetable oil - just enough to coat the bottom of the pan. And then for the most part, every meal is some combination of meat, veggie, and sauce (usually a light tomato sauce, but sometimes a thicker gravy or occasionally, molé, which is a particular weakness of mine. Her molé is mouthgasmic). All cut up small in order to be wrapped in a tortilla.
Asking her to cook differently or to keep track of what she used and how much is really, really a waste of all of our time, trust me. She does what she does.
She makes homemade tortillas and she uses white rice to do her Mexican rice - I generally just avoid the tortillas and rice but eat whatever meat/veggie combination she's made without worrying about it too much. I go light on sauces if they're thick. I do my best to guesstimate what we've eaten for my logging/calorie count, but really, I could be off by a good bit, especially on the nights she's used beef. I haven't broken out my food scale to measure portions - she'd think I was off my rocker.
Thoughts? Other ideas? Most days, I can be pretty controlling/obsessive about breakfast and lunch to give myself some wiggle room at dinner, but it's frustrating that I may very well STILL be blowing my calories.
My MIL lives with us. She cooks dinner for us every night, it's usually about ready when we get home from work. And her food is GOOD. She doesn't cook from a recipe, but she does use almost exclusively whole foods - fresh meat, fresh veggies, etc. She rarely fries anything, I'd say what she does is more of a sauté? I know she uses vegetable oil - just enough to coat the bottom of the pan. And then for the most part, every meal is some combination of meat, veggie, and sauce (usually a light tomato sauce, but sometimes a thicker gravy or occasionally, molé, which is a particular weakness of mine. Her molé is mouthgasmic). All cut up small in order to be wrapped in a tortilla.
Asking her to cook differently or to keep track of what she used and how much is really, really a waste of all of our time, trust me. She does what she does.
She makes homemade tortillas and she uses white rice to do her Mexican rice - I generally just avoid the tortillas and rice but eat whatever meat/veggie combination she's made without worrying about it too much. I go light on sauces if they're thick. I do my best to guesstimate what we've eaten for my logging/calorie count, but really, I could be off by a good bit, especially on the nights she's used beef. I haven't broken out my food scale to measure portions - she'd think I was off my rocker.
Thoughts? Other ideas? Most days, I can be pretty controlling/obsessive about breakfast and lunch to give myself some wiggle room at dinner, but it's frustrating that I may very well STILL be blowing my calories.
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Replies
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In the interests of family harmony, I think your best bet is to eat lightly at breakfast and lunch and to enjoy dinner
How long has this been going on? Are you losing weight?
I make rice and tortillas fit - I have 1/2 C of rice (75 grams) or one small tortilla.0 -
That is so awesome, may I borrow your MIL. I would track your body weight and keep an eye on portion sizes, adjust up or down. Lucky you!0
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My thought is that you should do your best to estimate the calories. After a few weeks see how you're doing. If you're not losing, you're eating too many calories, right? In that case, either your portions are too big or you are underestimating the number of calories in the food. To fix that, either eat smaller portions (i.e., lower your calorie goal and eat less as a result) or up your estimate of the number of calories in said food (i.e., keep the same calorie goal but increase the number of calories for the food your MIL makes.)0
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That would be so hard, frustrating and wonderful at the same time. I love Mexican food. Maybe you could ask her to teach you how to make some of the dishes and then just guess to the best of your ability and put it in the recipe builder. Or you could use restaurant entries for similar dishes and try to over estimate on the calories. Other than doing what you are already doing by being very strict with your other meals I don't know what else you could do. That would be really difficult to log those meals, but you don't want to insult her. If she lives with you then she probably feels that cooking dinner and having it ready when you get home is her contribution to the household.0
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That would be so hard, frustrating and wonderful at the same time. I love Mexican food. Maybe you could ask her to teach you how to make some of the dishes and then just guess to the best of your ability and put it in the recipe builder. Or you could use restaurant entries for similar dishes and try to over estimate on the calories. Other than doing what you are already doing by being very strict with your other meals I don't know what else you could do. That would be really difficult to log those meals, but you don't want to insult her. If she lives with you then she probably feels that cooking dinner and having it ready when you get home is her contribution to the household.
Well said, especially the bolded.
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I would love to have that molé recipe por favor!!
Just save most of your cals for dinner, it's your best bet since you can control both breakfast and lunch. That way you can enjoy her dinners. :drinker:0 -
My thought would be to get a Fitbit to log your TDEE as accurately as possible, and make sure you're logging everything except your dinner extremely accurately. Then, leave dinner blank. After a month, you could look back and subtract your total calories for the month from your monthly TDEE total, then take that number and compare it the amount of weight you've lost. Maybe someone could figure the exact equation? It's not too hard but I'm still working on my first cup of coffee, haha. Anyway the end result would be an average calorie count for dinners over the last month. Then just log that average as dinner every night that MiL cooks going forward. Not an exact science, but probably about as close as you can get without offending the MIL.0
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My thought would be to get a Fitbit to log your TDEE as accurately as possible, and make sure you're logging everything except your dinner extremely accurately. Then, leave dinner blank. After a month, you could look back and subtract your total calories for the month from your monthly TDEE total, then take that number and compare it the amount of weight you've lost. Maybe someone could figure the exact equation? It's not too hard but I'm still working on my first cup of coffee, haha. Anyway the end result would be an average calorie count for dinners over the last month. Then just log that average as dinner every night that MiL cooks going forward. Not an exact science, but probably about as close as you can get without offending the MIL.
Wow! This is a great idea!0 -
She's taught me how to make some of it - I can duplicate her mole pretty well when the ingredients are available (she brings it in from Mexico City, but really, it's easy - it's just heating the mole slowly, whisking with chicken broth until it looks like about the right consistency - and add a glob of peanut butter. OMG, it's so good) and, unfortunately, I can also make some pretty kick-*kitten* tortillas. Ha!
Like I said, she doesn't cook from a recipe, and truly, there's nothing to teach, really. I hang out and watch on the weekends when I'm home. She just takes whatever meat we've got, whatever veggies looked good at the store that week, and cooks them all up in the pan together with some tomato sauce or a little liquid and seasonings. I think I'm probably doing a decent job with my estimates, except that, for example, last night was a sort of picadillo - ground beef (lean? full fat? who knows?) with carrots, potatoes, and corn. I can't even begin to guess how much of the meal was meat and how much of it was veggies. So my estimate with the MFP "recipe builder" thingie was kind of a crapshoot.
It's definitely true that she is cooking for us because it's her contribution to the family and she loves to do it - I would never want to say or do anything that might hurt her feelings. As it is, I feel bad skipping the rice and tortillas, but she doesn't seem to notice - the boys eat the tortillas as fast as she can make them!0 -
queenliz99 wrote: »My thought would be to get a Fitbit to log your TDEE as accurately as possible, and make sure you're logging everything except your dinner extremely accurately. Then, leave dinner blank. After a month, you could look back and subtract your total calories for the month from your monthly TDEE total, then take that number and compare it the amount of weight you've lost. Maybe someone could figure the exact equation? It's not too hard but I'm still working on my first cup of coffee, haha. Anyway the end result would be an average calorie count for dinners over the last month. Then just log that average as dinner every night that MiL cooks going forward. Not an exact science, but probably about as close as you can get without offending the MIL.
Wow! This is a great idea!
That is a great idea! Kind of mathy, but I think I could handle it.0 -
I agree. Create some custom entries for her foods thru trial & error, and otherwise enjoy. The food sounds amazing & her contribution to your children's overall quality of life is no doubt huge! Your problem is a good one. You can figure it out!0
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I agree. Create some custom entries for her foods thru trial & error, and otherwise enjoy. The food sounds amazing & her contribution to your children's overall quality of life is no doubt huge! Your problem is a good one. You can figure it out!
Definitely, to the bolded. This really isn't a complaint, just kind of a unique problem. Ha! Everyone tells you to cook your own food, and I'm like, "nope. no can do."0 -
Ok I took a stab at it. Base this on a typical 30 day month:
Monthly Total TDEE - Total Monthly Cals Consumed = "M" (Monthly Dinner Cals + Cals Burned)
# of pounds lost in 30 days x 3500 = "T" (Total Monthly Cals Burned)
M - T = "D" (total Dinner calories for month)
D / 30 = Average Daily Dinner Calories
Please someone correct this if there are any errors or if I'm totally off base!0 -
picadillo my mom makes is made with tomato sauce. Picadillo that I sometime make has chile Ancho and Guajillo. Either way I think you are good
(PS homemade flour tortillas taste the best!!!! but high calorie! LOL!)0 -
How awful.
This sounds like the worst.
The literal worst.0 -
My thought is that you should do your best to estimate the calories. After a few weeks see how you're doing. If you're not losing, you're eating too many calories, right? In that case, either your portions are too big or you are underestimating the number of calories in the food. To fix that, either eat smaller portions (i.e., lower your calorie goal and eat less as a result) or up your estimate of the number of calories in said food (i.e., keep the same calorie goal but increase the number of calories for the food your MIL makes.)
This.
Also, I would like your MIL.0 -
JeepHair77 wrote: »I agree. Create some custom entries for her foods thru trial & error, and otherwise enjoy. The food sounds amazing & her contribution to your children's overall quality of life is no doubt huge! Your problem is a good one. You can figure it out!
Definitely, to the bolded. This really isn't a complaint, just kind of a unique problem. Ha! Everyone tells you to cook your own food, and I'm like, "nope. no can do."
"Problem"
My girl's mother makes amazing food too. Lucky for me she's not close enough to see more than once every other month or so.0 -
queenliz99 wrote: »That is so awesome, may I borrow your MIL. I would track your body weight and keep an eye on portion sizes, adjust up or down. Lucky you!
^^^^^
THIS!!0 -
JeepHair77 wrote: »I generally just avoid the tortillas and rice but eat whatever meat/veggie combination she's made without worrying about it too much. I go light on sauces if they're thick. I do my best to guesstimate what we've eaten for my logging/calorie count, but really, I could be off by a good bit, especially on the nights she's used beef. I haven't broken out my food scale to measure portions - she'd think I was off my rocker.
Has this approach stopped working?
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queenliz99 wrote: »My thought would be to get a Fitbit to log your TDEE as accurately as possible, and make sure you're logging everything except your dinner extremely accurately. Then, leave dinner blank. After a month, you could look back and subtract your total calories for the month from your monthly TDEE total, then take that number and compare it the amount of weight you've lost. Maybe someone could figure the exact equation? It's not too hard but I'm still working on my first cup of coffee, haha. Anyway the end result would be an average calorie count for dinners over the last month. Then just log that average as dinner every night that MiL cooks going forward. Not an exact science, but probably about as close as you can get without offending the MIL.
Wow! This is a great idea!
I agree, this is a good idea.0
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