Want to help my Mom

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rskinner08
rskinner08 Posts: 5 Member
edited March 2016 in Health and Weight Loss
Have had success using MFP! I have lost a total of 22 lbs. My 75 year old mom wasn't eating well, I knew she wasn't eating enough or healthy. Started her on MFP yesterday. She ate all but 24 of her 1220 calories for the day. When she completed the entry for the day, it said in four weeks, she would weigh the same. I'm confused by this, as i often have around 150 calories left for the day. Any suggestions would be appreciated. She said it was very discouraging, as she did her best to eat much better. Thank you in advance.

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  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    How much does she have to lose? Or does she even need to lose weight?

    Eating "well" is subjective.veating "better" is also subjective.


    At 75, she is going to need less calories than someone who is 30.

  • 2snakeswoman
    2snakeswoman Posts: 655 Member
    edited March 2016
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    Odd, but really - she should ignore the "in 4 weeks ..." prediction. It has never been accurate for me, not once. In what way has your mom not been eating well? It might be better for her to make small substitutions at first. For example, if she snacks on jelly beans, she could try snacking on fruit instead. and so forth
  • rskinner08
    rskinner08 Posts: 5 Member
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    I am an only child. We lost my father in August of 2015. She is not on to like to cook, but did so when my Dad was still here. She was eating so little that even our primary doctor told her she needed to eat more. She wants to lose around 10-15 pounds. She would eat processed foods such as corndogs. I am trying to make her aware of how often she needs to eat. I know that eating too little can cause your metabolism to shut down. She has joined silver slippers and is going to the gym with friends two days a week.
  • rskinner08
    rskinner08 Posts: 5 Member
    edited March 2016
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    We did the initial set up which includes her age, activity level, current weight and height. Therefore I know that she is to eat 1220.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    rskinner08 wrote: »
    I am an only child. We lost my father in August of 2015. She is not on to like to cook, but did so when my Dad was still here. She was eating so little that even our primary doctor told her she needed to eat more. She wants to lose around 10-15 pounds. She would eat processed foods such as corndogs. I am trying to make her aware of how often she needs to eat. I know that eating too little can cause your metabolism to shut down. She has joined silver slippers and is going to the gym with friends two days a week.

    not true. Your metabolism only *kitten* down when you die. Sounds like you might have bought into some bro science and passing along the information, meaning well, but the information is incorrect.

    Also corn dogs CAN be part of healthy eating plan.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    edited March 2016
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    I am confused too. Is she trying to lose weight or gain weight? Trying to complete diary at 1196 calories should come with a warning about not eating enough, not a weight prediction. Your experiences will not be the same, even if she is your mother, she's older than you - anyway, another person. This was her first day? Nobody is perfect on the first day. It's not about being perfect, either, but to eat better, and learn. Does she even log correctly? Does she use a food scale? Have you told her about all the inaccurate entries in the database? Is she aware that the calories in a dish she makes herself will not have the same nutrient profile as a dish of the same name in the database?
  • lpadancer
    lpadancer Posts: 20 Member
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    -Needing to lose 10-15lbs and not eating enough don't compute. You do not lose weight by eating more calories then you ate accumulating those extra 10-15lbs unless there is a major change in activity level. Starvation mode and shut down metabolisms aren't real things.

    -I would try to be less judgmental about her food choices--while a balanced diet with lots of fresh foods is great for health, it is not necessary for weight loss. Too many changes at once may not be the best for compliance. She should accurately weigh and log the foods SHE wants to be eating, if weight loss is HER goal.

    -Meal timing does not matter. The person eating the foods should space their eating throughout the day as they find works best for them.
  • rskinner08
    rskinner08 Posts: 5 Member
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    Yes, I actually sat with her and walked her through the process. I showed her how to create a recipe and calculate calories as well. She is wanting to lose weight. Yes, this was her first day. Thank you kommodevaran! As for you, elphie754, I don't need anymore of your derogatory comments. You don't understand what is going on and your comments, I find are unnecessary.
  • rskinner08
    rskinner08 Posts: 5 Member
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    ipaddancer, i said she was going to the gym twice a week.
  • ElizabethOakes2
    ElizabethOakes2 Posts: 1,038 Member
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    Just totally ignore the 'in five weeks' feature. It's never right and mostly useless. I can eat the same thing with the exact same caloric expenditure for three days in a row and it will give me a different answer every time.

    I think if she's exercising, then meeting her macros is a far better indication of healthy diet than just calorie count. A corndog (deLICIOUS, by the way!) may not be the healthiest choice fat-wise, but it has protein and carbs- good building blocks. As long as she's getting lots of veg and fruit, I'd just make sure her macros are balancing more than worrying about eating 1200 calories a day. :)
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    I missed your followup (came while I was writing), so I'll just have to chime in with the others that there is no such thing as eating too little to lose weight (it's not derogatory, it's just fact) and meal timing is not essential in weight management. What I think may be happening: Your mother may be eating more than she thinks, because it's easy to underestimate amounts of calorie dense foods and overeat nutrient poor foods. So it's good of you to try to make her eat more healthily; but it's her choice and she is the one that ultimately decides what she'll eat. You can buy healthy ingredients, offer to cook with/for her, eat together - but focusing on "eating right" tends to put people off unless they take the initiative themselves.
  • lpadancer
    lpadancer Posts: 20 Member
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    rskinner08 wrote: »
    ipaddancer, i said she was going to the gym twice a week.

    Twice a week is great and I'm sure this will be very beneficial for her. I would not, however, consider this to be a major change in activity level. Activity level generally refers to how many steps one might take in a day, with the sedentary level being anything under 5,000 steps. Added intentional exercise is great, but 2 ~one hour sessions for an older, lighter (?) person might add 100 calories a day to her TDEE when averaged over the week (which she should totally add to her MFP log and eat back a portion of).

    You are talking about her needing to eat more to lose weight than what she had previously been maintaining her weight on... that's what isn't making sense.

    It is really tough to say without specific stats and more details regarding her activity.

    It is tough to have another person run the show when it comes to a weight loss journey. There are so many different approaches to managing food to create a calorie deficit resulting in weight loss, and I think people are most successful when they have to figure it out themselves. Good job for introducing her to the tools, but this has to be her thing to get excited about and delve into--if that's what she wants. I'd absolutely recommend a food scale and reviewing the stickied threads regarding proper logging of food and selecting the right entries in the database for her.

  • kgirlhart
    kgirlhart Posts: 4,994 Member
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    I'm still confused as to whether your mom is not eating enough or eating too much. If her doctor is telling her she needs to eat more then I don't understand how she needs to lose 10-15 pounds. And I agree with elphie754. You can't shut your metabolism down and there is nothing wrong with eating corn dogs.
  • callsitlikeiseeit
    callsitlikeiseeit Posts: 8,627 Member
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    rskinner08 wrote: »
    Yes, I actually sat with her and walked her through the process. I showed her how to create a recipe and calculate calories as well. She is wanting to lose weight. Yes, this was her first day. Thank you kommodevaran! As for you, elphie754, I don't need anymore of your derogatory comments. You don't understand what is going on and your comments, I find are unnecessary.

    i dont think derogatory means what you seem to think it means.

    corn dogs are fine. you wouldnt want a solid diet of them, but they can be eaten, just as pizza, burgers, a candy bars can.

    and she was absolutely correct that metabolism does not stop unless youre dead.

    and at 75 years old, im going to eat what i want, barring restrictions due to health issues.

    and is she not eating enough (like her doc says) or too much? something seems rotten in denmark.....
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,264 Member
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    It sounds like she is overweight (Dr would like her to lose) but grieving the loss of her spouse and perhaps not making good nutritional choices, hence the confusion over eating too much/little, needing to lose/gain (?)
    OP, it is a little confusing what her goal is. I can see that you are concerned and want her to be cooking again and making choices that will fuel her body well. I would feel the same way about my mom. It is really tough to help others along this path. Getting her to this site is a great idea. At the very least, have her weigh and log daily so she can see what she is eating, what nutrition it is (or isn't) giving her, and maybe make baby steps from there (increased activity, adding in more home cooking, etc).

    Good luck. At 75, she could have many years ahead, and you want her healthy for them :heart:
  • keepupwithjack
    keepupwithjack Posts: 44 Member
    edited March 2016
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    OP, I totally get what you're saying. It's not always about weight gain or loss, it's about nutrition. My MIL is 77 and eats terribly. She survives on a little soup here or there, coffee drinks, protein shakes, sweets, and salty snacks like chips and crackers. She's been in the hospital before after fainting. She's had dehydration issues. All because she won't eat the way she should. She's had weight loss surgery so her nutritional needs are a bit different.

    I take her and my FIL pots of soup and other meals. I don't take dessert, because she will make a meal out of it and won't eat anything else.
  • kpk54
    kpk54 Posts: 4,474 Member
    edited March 2016
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    Reading "into" the Op's comments it could be that Mom gained while Dad was still alive because she was cooking for him and eating with him and gained a little too much weight. Since Dad passed in August of last year, perhaps Mom has lost all interest in meal preparation and is no longer eating "enough" (thus the doctor encouraging her to eat more) and daughter is suggesting "more nutritious" in the right amounts to lose the few extra pounds with nutrition in mind.

    One's eating habits can change with other life changes such as the loss of a spouse. Hopefully her joining Silver Slippers will fill a possible void that may have been created because of the loss of her spouse and she will now have a support system in place with many who may have experienced the same loss and are trying to find their way and succeeding.

    OP, it is fine to encourage your Mom but I know from my personal experience: my Mom (who loved me deeply) was much better at accepting an internalizing information from folks other than me. That's just how it is with some folks. It can be a matter of feeling like she has transitioned from the nurturer to the one being nurtured.


  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    rskinner08 wrote: »
    Yes, I actually sat with her and walked her through the process. I showed her how to create a recipe and calculate calories as well. She is wanting to lose weight. Yes, this was her first day. Thank you kommodevaran! As for you, elphie754, I don't need anymore of your derogatory comments. You don't understand what is going on and your comments, I find are unnecessary.

    Derogatory? Seriously?

    Sorry I tried to help. Won't make that mistake again.

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