Newlyweds Who Eat Differently

e_v_v
e_v_v Posts: 131 Member
in Food and Nutrition
Hi! I got married this past August. Life together has been AMAZING, but we have a problem...

He is a college football player trying to bulk up and maintain muscle. I am trying to lose about 10-15 pounds. He can't cook; I'm the only one who cooks dinner at night. I usually end up giving in to my husband's needs and making high-protein, high-calorie meals so that he can have enough fuel for his practices and games. However, with only 2 of us, it doesn't make sense to cook two different meals for each of us. I end up eating whatever I make for him, which doesn't help my weight-loss goals.

Help! Anyone have advice for how I can be more disciplined? Portion control advice? Recipes that would satisfy both of us? Anything would help! I love my man and want to keep him full and energized, but my cooking style is bulking us BOTH up...
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Replies

  • smotheredincheese
    smotheredincheese Posts: 559 Member
    Can't you eat the same thing as him, but just give yourself a smaller portion? Or maybe batch cook meals in advance and freeze them in to different sized containers, you you've always got 'his' and 'hers' portions available.
  • becky10rp
    becky10rp Posts: 573 Member
    My husband and I eat very different things as well. I'm a vegetarian - he's always on Atkins - eats a LOT of meat. We typically make our own dinners - we've been doing this for over 20 years - it works! We have one daughter - she's 17 - she picks between the two dinners - sometimes eats a little of both. Side-note- your Hubby needs to learn how to cook - especially if he doesn't eat what you eat!
  • TaraTall
    TaraTall Posts: 339 Member
    What sort of meals are you cooking? High protein isn't terrible. i'd just cook more veggies, eat those first. Then the protein and then - if you're still hungry, whatever else.

    Just because he's bulking doesn't mean it's always "fat foods" just eat in moderation. Serve out your portion and his and immediately put the rest in containers in the fridge? Less tempted to eat it if you have to work for it lol
  • e_v_v
    e_v_v Posts: 131 Member
    I cook a lot of chicken and pasta-type dishes. We also eat quite a few sandwich-based meals, such as taverns, pulled pork, and burgers. I usually eat these meals without buns or minimal pasta. The other problem is that we have one year of college left and don't have a lot of extra money to buy high-quality, expensive ingredients.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    Your best bet is portion control for yourself. Men have totally different calorie requirements than women. The bigger the size difference, the bigger the calorie difference. I weigh 100 lbs. more than my girl. She can't eat what I eat unless she wants to weigh what I weigh.
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    Another suggestion - your husband should learn to cook. At least a few things.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    ebrass73 wrote: »
    I cook a lot of chicken and pasta-type dishes. We also eat quite a few sandwich-based meals, such as taverns, pulled pork, and burgers. I usually eat these meals without buns or minimal pasta. The other problem is that we have one year of college left and don't have a lot of extra money to buy high-quality, expensive ingredients.

    That seems like the right way to go about it. Double your veg and eat less of the pasta, skip a bun here or there if it doesn't fit into your day well. If you're making something on the easier side, you can take the time to have two different skillets cooking at once or if you're using a heavy sauce, have him put his on separately.

    You could also ask him to compromise a little and have his extra calories for dessert or during his lunch.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    I don't live with my significant other so I know it's different, but let's say we're going to have steak and he wants fries or potato or a side that doesn't work for me...he gets the steak with whatever side he wants or a salad with the cheese of his choice-and mine goes on a salad with veg, balsamic and laughing cow cheese. We eat together and both are happy.
  • MommyMeggo
    MommyMeggo Posts: 1,222 Member
    edited March 2016
    Compromise.
    Share the load. <of cooking>
    He cant bake a chicken breast or or boil pasta? Brown some ground turkey?

    Cook two meals if necessary as BOTH of your goals are important.
    *make adjustments to your portions.


  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
    smotheredincheese wrote: »
    Can't you eat the same thing as him, but just give yourself a smaller portion? Or maybe batch cook meals in advance and freeze them in to different sized containers, you you've always got 'his' and 'hers' portions available.

    This.

    And if you're concerned about a smaller volume of food, fill in with some salad or extra vegetables.

    And there's nothing wrong with high protein; in fact, it may help keep you feeling more satiated.
  • kwtilbury
    kwtilbury Posts: 1,234 Member
    Take whatever your cooking for him, use a smaller portion and place it over a bed of spinach with tomatoes and whatever other veggies you'd like. Done.
  • rybo
    rybo Posts: 5,424 Member
    Just eat less of whatever you are cooking?
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    It's all about portion control. You two aren't Joey Chestnut and Molly Schuyler. You don't have to match him bite for bite. It actually sounds like you are on the right track already. My husband is 8" taller and 80 pounds heavier than me. We eat the same meals, I just eat less. I measure out one serving of pasta and then whatever amount of sauce I want. I eat my burgers without a bun because I'd rather use those calories on something else. He eat more of X side dish and I eat more of Y side dish. Same goes with our daughter. Same food, different portions.
  • fishshark
    fishshark Posts: 1,886 Member
    my husband is a professional athlete so like yours he eats so much food and a lot of protien. I eat whatever i cook him in just smaller portions or adjust little things. his favorites are skirt steak "taco" salad. i just eat a small portion. He loves chicken parm with homemade alfreado I just eat a small portion and add a lot of veggies. basically as i said 100 times he eats big portions i eat tiny portions.
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    My BF and I aren't ever working toward the same goal (I'm bulking and he's cutting, for example, or I'm cutting and he's maintaining). We make a lot of meals where the base is the same (pasta is a great example), with sides that we can each customize to fit our goals. If we have steamed veggies, one person can add cheese/butter/olive oil and the other person doesn't have to, or I'll lay out the salad ingredients so each person can add dressing or olives or whatever. I also tend to make things like garlic bread which he loves but I don't care for, so he can have extra calories from the side dishes.
  • coolz19465
    coolz19465 Posts: 11 Member
    I can't cook either. I have been married seven years. I started a high protein diet and have two choices: I eat alot of what my wife makes, or I make my own meal. I have found 4-5 recipes that have dummies guide to cooking kind of instructions so there is no questions left for me. I can read, and follow directions. I have cooked more in the last 2 months than in the last 2 years.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Your male counterpart is always going to have higher calorie needs than you regardless of football, etc...my wife has smaller portions than I do...my wife tends to have protein and veg with dinner...I have more protein, more veg, and starches/grains. I eat desert most nights...she doesn't. I have 3-4 snacks per day...she has 1-2 and we both snack on different things. She has egg white omelets for breakfast and a small serving of oats...I have whole eggs for breakfast and a full serving of oats and add peanut butter...etc, etc, etc.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    Your male counterpart is always going to have higher calorie needs than you regardless of football, etc...my wife has smaller portions than I do...my wife tends to have protein and veg with dinner...I have more protein, more veg, and starches/grains. I eat desert most nights...she doesn't. I have 3-4 snacks per day...she has 1-2 and we both snack on different things. She has egg white omelets for breakfast and a small serving of oats...I have whole eggs for breakfast and a full serving of oats and add peanut butter...etc, etc, etc.

    THAT'S SEXIST!!
  • puffbrat
    puffbrat Posts: 2,806 Member
    Thankfully my husband can cook and enjoys it. Unfortunately, this is actually worse for my diet because even if he gives me the recipe to enter into the recipe builder, he will still add extras. A couple weeks ago he tripled the parmesan in a pasta recipe and didn't tell me until I asked why there wasn't any left in the fridge as expected.

    We always eat the same dinner at home (eat out once a week). I just take smaller portions, more veggies and fewer carbs. I also try to encourage keeping sauces separate so I can choose how much, if any, I want. If he is still hungry, he will eat a piece of bread, tortilla, more dessert, etc.

    If you like pastas, try making sauceless pastas that get flavor from the protein and veggies. Those usually fit better in my day than pastas with sauce.
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
    My husband just eats more of the high calorie foods, especially pasta. And the best thing is, any functioning adult can learn to make pasta.
  • Megthechef43
    Megthechef43 Posts: 10 Member
    My husband and I are similar to your story. He can't gain weight, he tries but just can't. His metabolism is off the charts. I, on the other hand, look at chocolate and gain weight.

    We grill a lot. We will grill the meat so you can portion that out how you like. I eat 3-4oz and he eats his fill. I serve this with a vegetable side that is healthy and I like and a carb side that I usually don't eat. This could be rice or pasta.

    That way he can add bbq sauce to his meats and I don't. I can eat lean, clean, and green but he still gets all the food he needs.
  • Megthechef43
    Megthechef43 Posts: 10 Member
    jofjltncb6 wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    Your male counterpart is always going to have higher calorie needs than you regardless of football, etc...my wife has smaller portions than I do...my wife tends to have protein and veg with dinner...I have more protein, more veg, and starches/grains. I eat desert most nights...she doesn't. I have 3-4 snacks per day...she has 1-2 and we both snack on different things. She has egg white omelets for breakfast and a small serving of oats...I have whole eggs for breakfast and a full serving of oats and add peanut butter...etc, etc, etc.

    THAT'S SEXIST!!

    Women and Men process food differently. What may work for my husband does not work for me. I eat 1/4 cup oats for breakfast with cinnamon and my husband has a huge bowl of oats with peanut butter. It's not sexist to understand that males and females have different nutrition needs.
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
    Megthechef43 wrote: »
    jofjltncb6 wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    Your male counterpart is always going to have higher calorie needs than you regardless of football, etc...my wife has smaller portions than I do...my wife tends to have protein and veg with dinner...I have more protein, more veg, and starches/grains. I eat desert most nights...she doesn't. I have 3-4 snacks per day...she has 1-2 and we both snack on different things. She has egg white omelets for breakfast and a small serving of oats...I have whole eggs for breakfast and a full serving of oats and add peanut butter...etc, etc, etc.

    THAT'S SEXIST!!

    Women and Men process food differently. What may work for my husband does not work for me. I eat 1/4 cup oats for breakfast with cinnamon and my husband has a huge bowl of oats with peanut butter. It's not sexist to understand that males and females have different nutrition needs.

    Well that's... different.
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    auddii wrote: »
    Megthechef43 wrote: »
    jofjltncb6 wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    Your male counterpart is always going to have higher calorie needs than you regardless of football, etc...my wife has smaller portions than I do...my wife tends to have protein and veg with dinner...I have more protein, more veg, and starches/grains. I eat desert most nights...she doesn't. I have 3-4 snacks per day...she has 1-2 and we both snack on different things. She has egg white omelets for breakfast and a small serving of oats...I have whole eggs for breakfast and a full serving of oats and add peanut butter...etc, etc, etc.

    THAT'S SEXIST!!

    Women and Men process food differently. What may work for my husband does not work for me. I eat 1/4 cup oats for breakfast with cinnamon and my husband has a huge bowl of oats with peanut butter. It's not sexist to understand that males and females have different nutrition needs.

    Well that's... different.

    And also totally not true. I usually eat more than my BF when I'm bulking, and he has 8" and 40-50 pounds on me. Me being a woman has nothing to do with how I process food.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    jofjltncb6 wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    Your male counterpart is always going to have higher calorie needs than you regardless of football, etc...my wife has smaller portions than I do...my wife tends to have protein and veg with dinner...I have more protein, more veg, and starches/grains. I eat desert most nights...she doesn't. I have 3-4 snacks per day...she has 1-2 and we both snack on different things. She has egg white omelets for breakfast and a small serving of oats...I have whole eggs for breakfast and a full serving of oats and add peanut butter...etc, etc, etc.

    THAT'S SEXIST!!

    My wife definitely thinks so...especially when I'm eating desert.... :D
  • valente347
    valente347 Posts: 201 Member
    My husband and I are the same way. I cook about 1500 calories worth of high-protein meals and let him fill in his calories with whatever else he wants to eat. He usually snacks on nuts, yogurt, dried fruit, gummy candies, jerky, corn chips, and/or ice cream. I usually only have room for a small snack.
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    I agree with the other posters who said to have smaller portions of what you fix for him, and add in vegetables. Plus, if you don't eat together at the two other meals, you can adapt those - you can eat lower calorie foods for breakfast and lunch so you have more room in your day for dinner, and he can eat higher calorie foods and possibly more snacks if it helps.
  • brb_2013
    brb_2013 Posts: 1,197 Member
    Make things like stir fry where he can double the chicken and rice, where you can keep portions where you need and fill with veggies.

    I often eat many less carbs and meat than my partner, but I cook all our dinners. It's really not hard to plan a weeks meals that fit his needs then tweak them for your own. Not a completely different meal, but less of certain foods and more of others. You can always make lighter dinners and have him double portion sizes.
  • RAinWA
    RAinWA Posts: 1,980 Member
    My husband needs about twice as many calories as I do. He can't cook but I've learned to make adjustments. We had meatloaf, cauliflower and boiled potatoes the other night - he got a larger portion of the meatloaf, I added butter to his cauliflower and cheese to his potatoes. He had rolls, I didn't. You just have to be a little creative, but it's really doable once you get in the routine.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Megthechef43 wrote: »
    My husband and I are similar to your story. He can't gain weight, he tries but just can't. His metabolism is off the charts. I, on the other hand, look at chocolate and gain weight.

    We grill a lot. We will grill the meat so you can portion that out how you like. I eat 3-4oz and he eats his fill. I serve this with a vegetable side that is healthy and I like and a carb side that I usually don't eat. This could be rice or pasta.

    That way he can add bbq sauce to his meats and I don't. I can eat lean, clean, and green but he still gets all the food he needs.

    Does your husband weigh/measure and log his food?

    I suspect his metabolism is more on the charts than you think...

    (...and this is from a former "hard-gainer" with a TDEE of ~3400.)

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