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Help me manage stress without alcohol!

hasteffey
hasteffey Posts: 4 Member
edited November 2024 in Motivation and Support
Hi everyone, I have had a very hard time this past year and a half. My husband is in the military and we moved to North Dakota, away from all my family and friends. The winters here are long, cold, and bitter. I have always struggled with anxiety and depression, and feeling so isolated up here with no sunshine half the year does not help! I really don't eat much, but when I do I turn to the unhealthy comfort foods. I am a stay at home mom to two young toddlers and a full time college student. I also had a part time job until recently when I decided it was too much. I often drink alcohol at night to combat the sadness and anxiety I am feeling. I have no problem going days or even weeks without it until I have a bad day for one reason or another. I know a lot of my weight and health issues are caused by alcohol and a lot of things would get better if I could just kick it completely. The funny thing is, I don't even like it. I don't like the taste, I don't drink it to get drunk or buzzed, it's just become a habit if I have bad days. I would love some support and a friend to hold me accountable to help me out. Being so alone up here makes it hard. My husband is not home all day, and leaves for long amounts of time regularly, leaving me with little people as my only conversationalists haha. I have not had much success with meeting friends up here, mostly because people stay in their houses half the year. The one friend I did make recently got orders to move away, leaving me all on my lonesome again. I would love a friend that can relate to any of the above things to talk to and support each other. Thanks!
Heather

Replies

  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    Have you tried setting up some play dates? It's a great way to meet people in a similar situation and also great socialization for your children. Exercise and meditation are wonderful stress relievers and getting outside whenever possible to get some sunlight even if faint. Bundling the little ones, sticking them on a sled or in a stroller and pushing, pulling them around is great exercise. The fresh air will do some good for all three of you.
  • wonko221
    wonko221 Posts: 292 Member
    Sounds like a tough place to be in; but you can find your way out. And there may be help.

    I smoked for 18 years; always thought i wanted to, and while i knew i would eventually have to quit I figured it would be a reluctant choice, and difficult. A good friend was in the same boat, and read "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking" by Allen Carr. After he read it, he lent it to me. On March 8th, 2016 i'll be two years smoke-free.

    So, the reason i'm sharing this here - i know what it's like to be stuck in a pattern, habitualized to seeking comfort in something that i know, intellectually, is harmful and counter-productive, but unable to see my way out. As much as i wanted to quit, i also truly believed at some levels that smoking was integral to my identity, was a necessary release for my stress, and was something that i required for my happiness. The book helped me quit by helping me deprogram these false believes, and made me WANT to quit smoking.

    I haven't read it, but there is a parallel book to help people quit drinking. You can google for: Allen Carr Easyway to Stop Drinking and find options to buy online, and probably at the nearest major book store.

    Good luck to you with your journey, wherever you go. For you, and your family, i hope you find peace.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    Therapy and medication for anxiety and depression could make a big difference. See your doctor.
    Exercise regularly. There are a lot of workout videos on you tube but getting out walking outside or at a store might be good if there isn't a gym.
    Meditation- you can find guided meditations online
    Sun lamp or light therapy maybe
    Art, music, journaling, sewing, cooking, knitting
    Volunteering somewhere
    Support groups for military spouses/families
    Attending church, library functions, school functions could be ways to meet others
    Adopt an older neighbor- sometimes seniors are lonely and isolated too.
    Online forums or groups are a great way to connect with others if you are feeling isolated
  • taniamusic
    taniamusic Posts: 45 Member
    I was drinking every night as my husband works away and I found it lonely. For the past month I've made a point of going to the gym first thing in the morning every day - so I tell myself I can't drink or I won't be able to last at the gym. I also dropped to 1000 calories a day which left no room to log in alcohol calories. I'm always looking for new friends so please add me :)
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