looked at my husband and he looks so ooooo fat!

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  • mckat08
    mckat08 Posts: 79 Member
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    tabletmfp wrote: »
    Thanks rosemary. Well I fast 3 days a week. That's how I keep my weight down. He eats much the same as I do, maybe a bit more , on my non fast days. The thing is, he eats the same amount every day. He does not eat a high amount one day and compensate with a much smaller amount the next day. He says he needs the larger amount of calories every day because he does a manual job, outside in cold weather!

    WOW, this is wrong on so many levels. I don't think I could be this disrespectful to my husband. Venting in public to complete strangers..... :(
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    Michaelg235 wrote: »
    TheLittleRedHairedGirl wrote: »
    I am actually offended by this. If you can't have a talk with him about it, then what makes you think it's okay to talk about him behind his back? If you're not happy with the way he looks, then take charge of his nutrition and start making healthier meals.

    Sometimes people don't have the heart to tell that person because you love him that much

    You love them so much that you make a public posting calling them fat? Sounds more than just a little disrespectful to me.
    amclain93 wrote: »
    Please, please don't try and trick him into losing weight to make you happy. Chances are he's not stupid, will catch on to what you're doing, and be upset. What if this was in the reverse and it was a man venting to strangers about his fat wife? Have some tact. You are clearly old enough to be able to talk to him point blank about his weight. Please do so without saying some thing like 'you look sooooooooo fat!!'. Be prepared and willing to accept that maybe he just doesn't want to lose weight? Unless there is a legitimate health concern that has been properly diagnosed by his doctor, let the man do what he wants!

    The outcome of that thread would be:

    b3ofdf3ybb5b.png
  • mckat08
    mckat08 Posts: 79 Member
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    j94ml8a1s6gq.jpg
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    Michaelg235 wrote: »
    arditarose wrote: »
    Michaelg235 wrote: »
    TheLittleRedHairedGirl wrote: »
    I am actually offended by this. If you can't have a talk with him about it, then what makes you think it's okay to talk about him behind his back? If you're not happy with the way he looks, then take charge of his nutrition and start making healthier meals.

    Sometimes people don't have the heart to tell that person because you love him that much

    How deep and insightful

    But it's kind of true like would you tell your kid he's fat no .. my mother did that with me

    I would like to say that I am so sorry your mother did this to you. Mine has too, but as an adult, not as a child. It is hurtful and cruel, and can create some very big emotional concerns and long-term issues. I hope you are able to give yourself the support that your mother wouldn't
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
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    The best part is how people are offended for someone else. Let alone an internet stranger.
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
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    arditarose wrote: »
    thorsmom01 wrote: »
    Remember- what you don't want , someone else may be glad to have. Sometimes looks aren't the most important feature in a man.

    QFT

    That 12 inch...






    ...wallet goes a long way.
  • TheLittleRedHairedGirl
    TheLittleRedHairedGirl Posts: 154 Member
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    Michaelg235 wrote: »
    TheLittleRedHairedGirl wrote: »
    I am actually offended by this. If you can't have a talk with him about it, then what makes you think it's okay to talk about him behind his back? If you're not happy with the way he looks, then take charge of his nutrition and start making healthier meals.

    Sometimes people don't have the heart to tell that person because you love him that much

    I call b/s on this. If you love them THAT much, then you will have a talk with them and voice your concerns because you don't want it coming between the two of you. If you don't like the way your spouse looks, and keep quiet about it, resentment can grow, which leads to a whole other can of worms. Besides, ever hear of open communication? My very happy husband and I have an open dialogue, try it, it works.
  • RuNaRoUnDaFiEld
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld Posts: 5,864 Member
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    I find it abhorrent that you would start a thread because your husband gained weight. Not once did you say you were worried for his health, it is about his look. Do you think you still look the way you did when you met?

    I know I'm 14lb heavier, have crows feet wrinkles, grey hairs and ill health.
  • Michaelg235
    Michaelg235 Posts: 1,093 Member
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    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    Michaelg235 wrote: »
    arditarose wrote: »
    Michaelg235 wrote: »
    TheLittleRedHairedGirl wrote: »
    I am actually offended by this. If you can't have a talk with him about it, then what makes you think it's okay to talk about him behind his back? If you're not happy with the way he looks, then take charge of his nutrition and start making healthier meals.

    Sometimes people don't have the heart to tell that person because you love him that much

    How deep and insightful

    But it's kind of true like would you tell your kid he's fat no .. my mother did that with me

    I would like to say that I am so sorry your mother did this to you. Mine has too, but as an adult, not as a child. It is hurtful and cruel, and can create some very big emotional concerns and long-term issues. I hope you are able to give yourself the support that your mother wouldn't

    I'm not trying to start anything but that was kind of a backhanded comment towards my mom . Its not like my moms only one in the world that does that . And she probably didn't want to say it because I had enough of it in school
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    Dandelie wrote: »
    If you wouldn't say it to him, do you really think that it is okay to say it to someone else?

    ^^^

    And you know, what goes on line is never private. I hope for your sake he never sees it.

    But it wouldn't surprise me at all if he did.
  • MichelleLea122
    MichelleLea122 Posts: 332 Member
    edited March 2016
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    Ignoring your husband's health for a moment, what exactly do you mean you fast 3 times a week to keep your weight down? This sounds relatively unhealthy and certainly unsustainable. I suggest before you try and fix your husband you get your own diet routine in check.
  • Michaelg235
    Michaelg235 Posts: 1,093 Member
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    TheLittleRedHairedGirl wrote: »
    Michaelg235 wrote: »
    TheLittleRedHairedGirl wrote: »
    I am actually offended by this. If you can't have a talk with him about it, then what makes you think it's okay to talk about him behind his back? If you're not happy with the way he looks, then take charge of his nutrition and start making healthier meals.

    Sometimes people don't have the heart to tell that person because you love him that much

    I call b/s on this. If you love them THAT much, then you will have a talk with them and voice your concerns because you don't want it coming between the two of you. If you don't like the way your spouse looks, and keep quiet about it, resentment can grow, which leads to a whole other can of worms. Besides, ever hear of open communication? My very happy husband and I have an open dialogue, try it, it works.

    I don't have a wife or a girlfriend or anything of that factor lol..
  • TheLittleRedHairedGirl
    TheLittleRedHairedGirl Posts: 154 Member
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    Michaelg235 wrote: »
    TheLittleRedHairedGirl wrote: »
    Michaelg235 wrote: »
    TheLittleRedHairedGirl wrote: »
    I am actually offended by this. If you can't have a talk with him about it, then what makes you think it's okay to talk about him behind his back? If you're not happy with the way he looks, then take charge of his nutrition and start making healthier meals.

    Sometimes people don't have the heart to tell that person because you love him that much

    I call b/s on this. If you love them THAT much, then you will have a talk with them and voice your concerns because you don't want it coming between the two of you. If you don't like the way your spouse looks, and keep quiet about it, resentment can grow, which leads to a whole other can of worms. Besides, ever hear of open communication? My very happy husband and I have an open dialogue, try it, it works.

    I don't have a wife or a girlfriend or anything of that factor lol..

    Then maybe you can take my words for advice and apply it in the future.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    edited March 2016
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    Michaelg235 wrote: »
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    Michaelg235 wrote: »
    arditarose wrote: »
    Michaelg235 wrote: »
    TheLittleRedHairedGirl wrote: »
    I am actually offended by this. If you can't have a talk with him about it, then what makes you think it's okay to talk about him behind his back? If you're not happy with the way he looks, then take charge of his nutrition and start making healthier meals.

    Sometimes people don't have the heart to tell that person because you love him that much

    How deep and insightful

    But it's kind of true like would you tell your kid he's fat no .. my mother did that with me

    I would like to say that I am so sorry your mother did this to you. Mine has too, but as an adult, not as a child. It is hurtful and cruel, and can create some very big emotional concerns and long-term issues. I hope you are able to give yourself the support that your mother wouldn't

    I'm not trying to start anything but that was kind of a backhanded comment towards my mom . Its not like my moms only one in the world that does that . And she probably didn't want to say it because I had enough of it in school

    NVM
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    What's your trash could very well be someone else's treasure.

    What's solo fat to you could be soon right for the next lady.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    Wow. If I ever found out my other half was slamming me on the internet like this, I don't know if my relationship could recover. How utterly rude.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,575 Member
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    When I have a problem like this I try to mull it over in my head by myself, or open up to ONE close friend-even that can be hard just because it hurts to speak the words out loud. Can't imagine going about it this way.
  • socksoffortitude
    socksoffortitude Posts: 69 Member
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    No, you're not a bad person- you just said you don't have anyone to tell so you're seeking advice. You never said he's ugly, just that he's out of shape. It's a given that looks aren't the only important factor in a relationship, but they do count for something. It means something when your spouse tries to look good for you, as well as when they don't try at all. Have a chat with him! Say you'd like to do this as a team or something.
  • Avenged_Sevenx
    Avenged_Sevenx Posts: 44 Member
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    You aren't a bad person, but the title of this thread was kind of a d*ck move..

    Was that to get people to click it?
  • Meganthedogmom
    Meganthedogmom Posts: 1,639 Member
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    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    Wow. If I ever found out my other half was slamming me on the internet like this, I don't know if my relationship could recover. How utterly rude.

    Same here. Maybe her husband will find this and break up with her to find someone more deserving of his love.

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