Impossible...

hawkeyecollins94
hawkeyecollins94 Posts: 2 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So I've come to the conclusion that losing weight (for me) is impossible. For the past 2 years, I have been desperately trying to lose weight- yet I haven't lost even ONE pound. My big problem is this- I can stick to eating super healthy ( mealplans created by a nutritionist and perfect macros) for about 3 days, and then I always always binge the day after and throw it all away. I have tried everything: 1000 cal a day, 1500 a day, 2000 a day, intermittent fasting, cleanses, detoxes, low fat, low carb, paleo,- you name it and I've tried. I've even consulted with two nutritionists and seen a therapist and still no results. As you guys would expect, I feel terrible about myself. I hate how I look and I hate how I can't do something that is so simple even with the help of professionals. I just cannot stop myself from binging!! I feel like the only thing that would work now would to be to put a lock on my pantry door:,). Anyway, I am looking for some support/tips from anyone who has been in then same situation or just anyone at all. I am really to the point where I just wanna give up- I'm gonna hate myself either way, so might as well eat good food while doing it. Any feedback would be appreciated- thanks.

Replies

  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    A calorie deficit and patience. You need to learn how to eat for a lifetime.
  • shadows2424
    shadows2424 Posts: 179 Member
    Well I gained about thirty pounds or so from binge eating since last June. I don't have any secrets on how to stop. I've gained weight about ten pounds since I joined MFP to lose weight and people constantly tell me I won't stop until I'm ready to stop or the opposite. The bingeing just stopped one day and hasn't come back. I just had to wait it out. You may have to do the same. But one thing that's been repeated over and over is to eat filling foods like fiber and protein often and it should make you feel less like having a binge.
  • shadows2424
    shadows2424 Posts: 179 Member
    But whatever you do don't think you can't do it. You can. It may just take longer than it does for others.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    How about stop sticking to one super healthy/keto/IF/cleanse/low fat/low carb diet?

    What factors of all of these works for you? Can you stick to counting calories or does that cause issues? You need to start figuring out the elements that work for you. For me it's meal prep and pre-logging my main meals, then allowing the other calories to be filled as needed. For some it's planning a protein and vegetable at each meal with two snacks and not worrying about calories.

    Above all, stop hating yourself. You've figured out a bunch of ways that don't work. You just need to figure out what method is sustainable beyond 3 days. Maybe it's planning a cookie after dinner as a reward for sticking to it all day and maybe it's focusing on hunger signals.
  • dramaqueen45
    dramaqueen45 Posts: 1,009 Member
    Sorry you're so frustrated! A few questions come to my mind- are you restricting too much? Sometimes that can lead to binging if you feel deprived. Binge eating disorder is a real thing- you mentioned seeing a therapist- was this someone who specializes in eating disorders? I think this would be of benefit.

    On the other hand, if nothing has worked, perhaps a visit to the doctor would be good to check to see if you have a thyroid issue or PCOS - both of which can make it very difficult to lose weight if untreated. Good luck to you and sorry you are struggling so much! :/
  • missjessau
    missjessau Posts: 17 Member
    It also takes about 2 weeks for your taste buds to change. I ate healthy for 2 weeks (salad, protein, low carbs mainly as they don't fit in the calorie allowance) then one Friday I bought a piece of chocolate cake (I had an Olympic distance triathlon the next day, so a load/treat) could not finish it, was sickly sweet. I almost don't feel the need to binge on chocolate now!

    Unless it has been a bad day at work, but then I think if I stay fat then it will be harder to find a new job and get out of the hell-hole I am in (there is legit research out there about overweight folks earning less and it being harder to get work).
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    My advice would be to forget about eating perfect. Forget the "super healthy" diets, the perfect macros, etc. Why not try eating what you normally eat, but cutting back on some things or even just how much you eat of it. Don't give everything up, don't make anything off limits. Once you get control of that you can try to start making small changes.
    And when you do binge, log it and move on. Stop with the "starting over". I used to be bad for that too.
    And like USCMCP said, figure out what elements work best for you.
  • MakePeasNotWar
    MakePeasNotWar Posts: 1,329 Member
    First off, I'm really sorry you are feeling so bad. A lot of people struggle and it's sometimes just a matter of finding the strategies that fit your life and your personality.

    It sounds like you've tried a lot of drastic changes and rigid programs without success, so maybe you'd do better making small incremental changes.

    I'm not sure if you've already tried this, but what about just logging your food for a few weeks or a month, without restricting, and then going through your diaries to find small changes you can make that you might not miss? I cut the oil I use for cooking by about 80% and it's barely noticeable. I also traded hummus and pita for hummus and veggies in the afternoon and saved calories while adding nutrients. The key is to make it small, especially at first. Don't give up lasagna, just try a smaller portion with a side salad, or a recipe that uses low fat cheese, for example.

    Another possibility is adding more vegetables or other low calorie density foods to your meals so you get full on fewer calories without having to "cut out" anything. I know one thing that works for a lot of people is to have a big salad or a bowl of low calorie soup before lunch and dinner. They start their entree partially full so they feel satisfied with less of the more calorie dense foods.

    These may or may not work for you, but the key is to just keep trying new strategies until you find what clicks and allows you to create and maintain that calorie deficit. Good luck, and keep your chin up :)
  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
    MakePeasNotWar wrote: »
    First off, I'm really sorry you are feeling so bad. A lot of people struggle and it's sometimes just a matter of finding the strategies that fit your life and your personality.

    It sounds like you've tried a lot of drastic changes and rigid programs without success, so maybe you'd do better making small incremental changes.

    I'm not sure if you've already tried this, but what about just logging your food for a few weeks or a month, without restricting, and then going through your diaries to find small changes you can make that you might not miss? I cut the oil I use for cooking by about 80% and it's barely noticeable. I also traded hummus and pita for hummus and veggies in the afternoon and saved calories while adding nutrients. The key is to make it small, especially at first. Don't give up lasagna, just try a smaller portion with a side salad, or a recipe that uses low fat cheese, for example.

    Another possibility is adding more vegetables or other low calorie density foods to your meals so you get full on fewer calories without having to "cut out" anything. I know one thing that works for a lot of people is to have a big salad or a bowl of low calorie soup before lunch and dinner. They start their entree partially full so they feel satisfied with less of the more calorie dense foods.

    These may or may not work for you, but the key is to just keep trying new strategies until you find what clicks and allows you to create and maintain that calorie deficit. Good luck, and keep your chin up :)

    I was going to suggest this as well and sort of touched on part of it.

    Even just logging what you eat, without cutting or trying to lose weight may be helpful. 1 - it gives you an idea of what your calorie intake should be to cut from later one. And, you may find that some foods have more calories than you thought and you may decide they just aren't worth it. Or you can find some thing that you don't mind cutting out as much.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    Have you tried calculating your TDEE and BMR, setting your calorie goal to something between those two, weighing and logging everything you eat and drink, eating food you like to hit your calorie goal, weighing yourself every day, and doing that for at least two months? Unless you have done that, you can't say losing weight is impossible and that you have tried everything.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    I suggest a new approach rather than a diet.

    I found this course most helpful.

    http://patienteducation.stanford.edu/programs/cdsmp.html

    Also read Duhigg's book on habit.

    Restrict, deprivation and binge is a common cycle. So you can easily disrupt it by stop restricting so stringently. No deprivation, no binge.
  • Livgetfit
    Livgetfit Posts: 352 Member
    edited March 2016
    I suggest counselling because it sounds to be like self-love, self-belief and willpower issues. I totally understand as I have been there.

    The day you believe you deserve it is when you stop self-sabotaging and start thinking "I am worth more than this and I will push through because I love myself. My mind and my body both deserve respect and I'm gonna give it to them"

    It is constant work but I have gotten better and so can you
  • Fitnesspromiddleton
    Fitnesspromiddleton Posts: 15 Member
    I agree with others when they say to make small changes over time. I would pick one thing (like each x serves of vegetables/ day). Do that till it becomes a habit-they say 20+ days. Then tackle an other one (like drink 1-2liters of water/ day). Small changes add up to big results.

    You probably know were you can start...just put your head down and plow though it. I'm always telling myself just for today to get me though things, because if you think of it as forever it just makes it harder than it needs to be.

    And don't beat yourself up-that just makes it worse too.

  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    3dogsrunning wrote: »
    MakePeasNotWar wrote: »
    First off, I'm really sorry you are feeling so bad. A lot of people struggle and it's sometimes just a matter of finding the strategies that fit your life and your personality.

    It sounds like you've tried a lot of drastic changes and rigid programs without success, so maybe you'd do better making small incremental changes.

    I'm not sure if you've already tried this, but what about just logging your food for a few weeks or a month, without restricting, and then going through your diaries to find small changes you can make that you might not miss? I cut the oil I use for cooking by about 80% and it's barely noticeable. I also traded hummus and pita for hummus and veggies in the afternoon and saved calories while adding nutrients. The key is to make it small, especially at first. Don't give up lasagna, just try a smaller portion with a side salad, or a recipe that uses low fat cheese, for example.

    Another possibility is adding more vegetables or other low calorie density foods to your meals so you get full on fewer calories without having to "cut out" anything. I know one thing that works for a lot of people is to have a big salad or a bowl of low calorie soup before lunch and dinner. They start their entree partially full so they feel satisfied with less of the more calorie dense foods.

    These may or may not work for you, but the key is to just keep trying new strategies until you find what clicks and allows you to create and maintain that calorie deficit. Good luck, and keep your chin up :)

    I was going to suggest this as well and sort of touched on part of it.

    Even just logging what you eat, without cutting or trying to lose weight may be helpful. 1 - it gives you an idea of what your calorie intake should be to cut from later one. And, you may find that some foods have more calories than you thought and you may decide they just aren't worth it. Or you can find some thing that you don't mind cutting out as much.

    I agree that this is the place to start. It sounds to me like you are trying to find a diet, rather than looking for subtle and manageable changes that you can live with. Start with just logging, the good, the bad, the ugly. Everything.

    After you have a couple weeks of data, evaluate where you can trim things back a bit. If you haven't gained during that time, you have been eating at maintenance. Slowly scale it back until you start losing, decrease by 100/week and continue to re-evaluate your comfort levels. The time will pass either way. Lose in a slow easy manner that will allow you to enjoy the foods you like.
  • 1Nana2many
    1Nana2many Posts: 172 Member
    One thing that really stuck with me when I was first reading the MFP site was one person saying that if she was hungry for a particular thing she usually would binge on, she had a plan that included a ten minute wait, a glass of water and then if after waiting the allotted time, she still had a serious craving for the item, she would have a very small serving of it and see if just having a small amount would satisfy her craving...which it usually did. For me, I need to feel like I can still eat pretty much everything I enjoy, but a.)they have to fit into my calorie allotment for the day and b.)I have to be honest with myself about everything I ate because lying to myself is not an option. I also must remind myself pretty regularly that I am worth the effort to do this! For me, that is the hardest part, thinking I deserve to succeed. We don't have to conquer the whole mountain today as long as we keep climbing! Every day is a new start.

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